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Original poster

Grammar check please!

39 replies

SortCode · 09/10/2021 12:23

These are part of bullet points - not sure about the apostrophes - so should it be

A -
*Need a whole months worth of posts, already PLANNED out, for you to post?

OR

B-

Need a whole month's worth of posts, already PLANNED out, for you to post?

OP posts:
QueenAstrid · 09/10/2021 12:25

Not sure what it means exactly but the apostrophe is correct in B.

Warmduscher · 09/10/2021 12:25

B

Howshouldibehave · 09/10/2021 12:27

B is correct for the apostrophe. The sentence doesn’t really make sense though?

KingsleyShacklebolt · 09/10/2021 12:29

Agree with B and it does make sense - it reads like an advert offering to write someone's social media posts for them, and schedule them.

SquitMcJit · 09/10/2021 12:31

B

SwedishEdith · 09/10/2021 12:33

Why is 'planned' in capitals? If it's for emphasis, when I say it out loud I think 'out' would need to be in capitals as well. I think.

leavesthataregreen · 09/10/2021 12:35

B is correct grammatically but the syntax is ungainly. I'd rephrase it.

In4mation · 09/10/2021 12:38

It is a clumsy sentence.

Original poster
SortCode · 09/10/2021 14:11

Thank you - ah ok so I should rephrase and yes it is for social media help

Need a whole month's worth of posts, already PLANNED OUT, for you to post?

OP posts:
TwinklyBranch · 09/10/2021 14:18

Why do you need the capitals at all? I would think twice about letting anyone who wrote like that loose on my social media.

I'd rewrite along the lines of:
Need help with social media? We'll plan and write your posts for the entire month - all you have to do is copy, paste and schedule!

Howshouldibehave · 09/10/2021 14:25

@TwinklyBranch

Why do you need the capitals at all? I would think twice about letting anyone who wrote like that loose on my social media.

I'd rewrite along the lines of:
Need help with social media? We'll plan and write your posts for the entire month - all you have to do is copy, paste and schedule!

Completely agree. It’s poorly worded and sounds really clunky.
SwedishEdith · 09/10/2021 14:25

Yes, I'd have no capitals at all. And redraft as suggested so it's clearer to understand what you're offering.

Geamhradh · 09/10/2021 14:30

Don't use "out" with planned, and don't use both "posts" and "posted"

Do you need a month of posts ready to be uploaded/published?

A month's worth of ready prepared posts

A month of posts, prepared for you in advance

Etc etc

Original poster
SortCode · 09/10/2021 14:35

ok so - I am aiming this at "small local businesses" self employed people who just need a page set up, and kept active. I had used caps that that the words stood out - see below:

*Need a 'BUSINESS PAGE' up & running FAST?

*Need someone to post FABULOUS regular CONTENT for you so, your page is interesting, EYE-CATCHING and active?

*Need to reach MORE CUSTOMERS locally to increase your profile & ORDERS? Plus, help with RECRUITMENT?

*Need a whole month's worth of POSTS, already PLANNED OUT, for you to post yourself?

*Need someone to MANAGE your PAGE, respond and answer messages?

OP posts:
SillyBub · 09/10/2021 14:39

PLEASE lose the capitals.

Mylee · 09/10/2021 14:44

That advert would really put me off and I think has the opposite effect of what you are wanting

leavesthataregreen · 09/10/2021 14:47

I wouldn't go anywhere near someone advertising their services with that as an example. It's awful. Lose the capitals. And the inverted commas. They look sub-literate. Never use the same word twice in one sentence. Basic rule of good copy.

What are you offering? Not to write the copy, surely? Do they prepare the copy and you post it or vice versa? It's ambiguous.

RaininSummer · 09/10/2021 14:49

I prefer saying, 'need a whole month's worth of posts prepared in advance ready to post the following month.

AlwaysNC2021 · 09/10/2021 14:52

The comma after 'so' in the second bullet point shouldn't be there

FrancesFlute · 09/10/2021 14:53

Sorry, I know this is mean, but if you don't know how to use an apostrophe and insist on random capitals then there's no way I'd want you managing my business socials!

inappropriateraspberry · 09/10/2021 14:55

Try starting the lines with 'Do you...' it will make far more sense. And agree re capitals - don't do it! It just looks like you're SHOUTING random WORDS and phrases. Proper, clear sentences is much better.

inappropriateraspberry · 09/10/2021 14:57

And maybe change 'need' to 'want,' it would open it up to a wider market. Some may feel that it would be a nice service, but not necessarily something they really need or is vital.

Howshouldibehave · 09/10/2021 15:34

@SortCode

ok so - I am aiming this at "small local businesses" self employed people who just need a page set up, and kept active. I had used caps that that the words stood out - see below:

*Need a 'BUSINESS PAGE' up & running FAST?

*Need someone to post FABULOUS regular CONTENT for you so, your page is interesting, EYE-CATCHING and active?

*Need to reach MORE CUSTOMERS locally to increase your profile & ORDERS? Plus, help with RECRUITMENT?

*Need a whole month's worth of POSTS, already PLANNED OUT, for you to post yourself?

*Need someone to MANAGE your PAGE, respond and answer messages?

I wouldn’t go anywhere near a company who advertises like this, sorry.
heldinadream · 09/10/2021 15:41

Your misplaced comma in the second point would have me running away fast, sorry. Grammar and punctuation need to be good for this kind of work if you want people who are going to pay you and value what you do.
If you can't even proofread your own stuff, you're not the person I'd hire.

ShagMeRiggins · 09/10/2021 15:45

Need a whole months worth of posts, already PLANNED out, for you to post?

“Do you need a month’s worth of social media content, planned and ready for you to post?”

Might be better. I’m still playing with it and I’m not sure—from a client perspective—what part I would play in the planning.