How do you eat one of these?!

[JackieTheFart]

Without getting cream and icing everywhere?!

I tend to grab and bite as even slicing it into bite size pieces squashes it too much!

Is there a way of eating it that I’m missing, that won’t leave me looking like a toddler at a tea party?!

My DP loves these. He eats it the correct way which is so that the cream squidges everywhere. Any lost cream belongs to me

@colouringcrayons

Lay on its side, then slice the custard/cream in half. Then you flip the iced side over so the icing is on the bottom.

You now have two pastry sheets with a custard topping, can eat with cutlery (I like to slice into bite sized pieces) or pick up.

Always eat the iced half last because that's the best bit.

Yup, like this, but no cutlery, ever.

Oh bollocks, am now gluten free and realise this is another delicious thing I'll never eat again😭

@ViperAtTheGatesOfDawn This must be possible to make gluten free as gluten free pastry exists!

In fact here is a gf recipe: www.wellandgood.com.au/recipe/vanilla-slice/

Pull the top off and replace it upside down. Keeps you fingers clean. Then turn on its side to eat as it minimises squishage!

With a moist flannel beside me

@colouringcrayons

Lay on its side, then slice the custard/cream in half. Then you flip the iced side over so the icing is on the bottom.

You now have two pastry sheets with a custard topping, can eat with cutlery (I like to slice into bite sized pieces) or pick up.

Always eat the iced half last because that's the best bit.

This! I’ve experimented lots, and this is the best way gavel

[quote colouringcrayons]In fact here is a gf recipe: www.wellandgood.com.au/recipe/vanilla-slice/[/quote]
Thank you

@Cam2020

You don't! It collapses, the cream goes everywhere and you lick it off your fingers!

This is my current technique

DH operates a ‘cram it in on its side’ technique

@usernotfound0000

Eat the top first then the custard bit after, still messy but no oozing.

This^

or if you want to be really daring eat the custard part first and leave the squidgy icing top until last so it sticks your teeth together

I asked this question many years ago on mumsnet.
The best answer was: naked, pressed up against a tree with flakes of pasty dusting your pubic hair.
I’ve never eaten them any other way since.

There are lots of splendid ideas here!

I do fear though that the ones that utilise a knife are probably not what is considered ‘correct’ in Debretts but I might just have to try.

I am absolutely not sharing the cream that squidges out the side!

@Dunlin

I asked this question many years ago on mumsnet. The best answer was: naked, pressed up against a tree with flakes of pasty dusting your pubic hair. I’ve never eaten them any other way since.

I don’t have a garden, is this considered ok in a public park?

I can’t see why not.

@tonyunclejohnny

Squish it together, lick the filling round the edges as your squishing then eat once it's a size you can easily bite into

Yes

In the bath.

In pairs.

I started off with a knife but tbh it just took all the joy out of eating a cream cake.

So the second half got shoved in my gob like it was some sort of feeding frenzy.

Thanks for your help, I shall try the naked-against-a-tree option next time

You give it a bit of a squeeze and eat all the cream/custard that squidges out. Then do the same again. Then eat the pastry which now has a manageable thin layer of gooey stuff inside.

Down it, down it, down it.

🤤🤤

Pull the top off and attach it to the bottom. So you have cream on top, bottom layer, top layer. Then bite. Not too much mess they way.

@tonyunclejohnny

Squish it together, lick the filling round the edges as your squishing then eat once it's a size you can easily bite into

This way 👆

@Mistymountain

I pull the bottom off eat that, and then eat the top with the cream

This ^ 100%

You buy the six pack of frozen ones from Iceland. They're smaller than normal ones, so you can shove the whole thing in your gob in one go with minimal cream loss (once they've defrosted. Don't try & eat them frozen).