Partner cannot watch the dc without my help.

[startfrom1]

It's actually getting beyond ridiculous now.

We have 3 dc aged under 10. He would look after them whilst I worked before they started school. Recently though he's really struggling to look after them by himself.

Some examples:
I had to work one Saturday recently and he called me up 4 times to ask/ tell me things that could have waited.

If I pop to the shop without dc, when I get back he tells me how difficult they have been. I was gone for 20 minutes max and when I got back they were all sat reading and didn't look like they had been difficult. He says from now on they will have to come with me.

I had a shower and by the time I was drying he was calling for me to come and help.

He literally cannot be left for 5 minutes without needed me to come and help.

It's driving me mad and It's embarrassing as people have noticed too.

Anyone else have a dp that acts like this?

He can...he chooses not to.

when I get back he tells me how difficult they have been.

Flip it back on him - unless he described them behaving worse for him than for you, then they haven't been difficult but he struggles to care for them. He isn't going to solve the problem until he owns it.

I know he can look after them. When we are all together he can play with them and always tells them how much he loves them.

He just becomes too overwhelmed when it's just him and them.

Well - what is he going to do about it? He can't leave it all to you because that's not sustainable. Maybe you both have to accept that he really can't look after them but in that case he has to do more to change and manage this situation so that it's not all on you.

Whenever my DH tried any of this nonsense I would fix him with A Look and say "Oh, sorry, my mistake, I mistook you for a capable adult" and then leave him to get on with it.

He stopped being an idiot fairly rapidly and is now a fully capable adult.

How old are the children?

@startfrom1 what happens of you go into hospital tomorrow for a week?

Your title is wrong. Partner WILL NOT watch the dc without your help

what happens of you go into hospital tomorrow for a week?

In my family, grannies and aunties stepped in.

always tells them how much he loves them.

What kind of love can't bear to be left alone for an hour with the people you (supposedly) love? Your children will know how he really feels about them no matter what he says. You can't cover up the contrast between what he says to them and how he behaves.