I'm afraid I'm very, very drunk

[purrswhileheeats]

Who remembers the Fast Show?

I actually knew a real life competitive dad

BLACK! What’s for tea Mother? Maggots on toast?

Someone’s sitting there!

This week I’ll mostly be eating taramasalata

Oh bugger

I bloody love The Fast Show.

Aren’t the royal family brilliant? They only have four different names, Edward, George, Henry and George again. Oh yeah, and Charles, but he’ll never be king, not as long as Olivia Colman’s on the throne. The amazing thing about the British royal family is that they’re not really British at all. First they were Normans, which were a sort of French with funny helmets, then they were Scottish, then they were Dutch, then they were Germans and then they became British, just in time for world war two. Which was handy, cos it might have got confusing and we’d have been at war with ourselves. And I think they’re probably still a bit confused, which was why Harry dressed up with all swastikas and that. Anyway, she’s forgiven him, Meghan Sparkle, and now they live in Los Angeles, which is in Hollywood. Aren’t films brilliant? Except the ones that aren’t, which is most of em … In’t Prince Philip fantastic? He’s 325 year old and he’s not dead yet, bout the same age as Dracula … although some people reckon Prince Philip died years ago and was replaced by a robot or an alien or something. I’d like to be replaced by an alien. Aren’t aliens fantastic? Nothing ever happens round here. Specially since lockdown. Except when we go to illegal raves in the park, take hippy crack and fight each other. In’t hippy crack brilliant? It’s like a drug you can also use to whip cream. Brilliaaaaant!

Thanks to the Guardian
www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2020/aug/27/the-fast-show-just-a-load-of-blooming-catchphrases-charlie-higson-paul-whitehouse-simon-day

Boutras Boutras Ghali.

Pissy beer

Chris Waddle!

Ahhhhh no, I was hoping you were the Bicardi girl. I went to bed too early and missed the party.

Hlgxzztgssyxh

And I was rooting around in the attic, and I found the original copy of the bible.

Which was nice.

Scorchio !
Indecisive Dave
Swiss Tony

Ralph and Ted Funny but sad as well

I'll get me coat.

Loved the Fast Show! So many catchphrases! And some of the writing was quite touching, like the hidden love between Ted & his Master.

Ralph that was it!

Welcome to Jaaaaaz Club

Is it on any of the subscription services?? I feel I am now going to lose my Sunday afternoon, when I SHOULD be filming myself writing an essay for my 6th formers...

The Ted and Ralph Christmas special on Radio 4 a while back.
Ralph rang Ted to tell him he is now living an a flat in Hackney, and he has a ticket for 'Wicked' if Ted fancies going to London. It's for 2016 and restricted viewing...Ted says he has to go now as the new owner Mr Cartwright is taking him for a mint cocktail - a Mohican he thinks it's called.
Pure joy.

@Evvyjb

Is it on any of the subscription services?? I feel I am now going to lose my Sunday afternoon, when I SHOULD be filming myself writing an essay for my 6th formers...

Some is on YouTube @Evvyjb

Making fast show reference is....very much like making love to a beautiful woman. It puts a smile on you face but it's never as good as when you were younger and you're best to choose someone who hasn't been done recently.

Stuck down a hole! In the middle of the night! WITH AN OWL!

This week I am mostly wearing

Ehfff ehfff ehffffehfe ehfff ehfff ehfffefhe

I loved how the "this week I'll be mostly eating ... " sketches built up, to the last episode's offering(?): "This week - I have followed through!"