Jobs you didn't know existed

[goose1964]

I'll start with cow hoof trimmer😄

Dog wanker, I’m sure that isn’t the official title.

I was watching a show about guide dogs and instead of using one of those sheaths they use to get horse semen etc the lady just used her hand until the opportune moment.

@justineboober

Arsehole bleacher

Until I saw a programme years ago where someone was having their bum hole bleached. You learn something new every day.

I used to swim with waterproof headphones. One of the songs was Ed Sheeran New Man which i hadnt heard before and has the lyric

"He's got his eyebrows plucked and his asshole bleached"

I burst out laughing in the middle of the stroke and nearly drowned

Panda nanny. Perfect job imo

It's not a real job, but one April fools, Edinburgh Zoo advertised for someone to pick the penguins back up when they fell over backwards by watching airplanes overhead. I'd love that (imaginary) job.

Wookey Hole witch.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2472952/Wookey-Hole-Caves-witch-Waitress-wins-50-000-year-job.html

Dog wanker....oh my days , where is Rebbeca Loos when you need her !

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll - took me a while to get that joke, but kudos to you

Do not watch the hoof gp. It is mesmerising and nothing in your life will get done

Just seen there is hoof gp merchandise!

Thanks very much, SweatyBetty20, but I can't claim any credit - it was one of Sanjeev Kohli's. His Twitter feed is simply brilliant.

If I had my life over again I would love to have been a dendrochronologist. They study tree rings to ascertain the year they were formed and also gather info about climate conditions at the time.

They can also date ancient wooden artefacts by matching with ancient wood they have previously dated.

I once saw a job advert for a 'Head Cutter'. I don't know what the role entailed - I'm guessing the 'head' bit referred to the seniority of the role and it was just cutting cloth for clothes or something, or maybe even an editing job in film production; and not actually an executioner!

@salsmum

Lady Jane my Ds is trained in pyrotechnics but is also a stage manager and sound and light technician so his pyrotechnics is used with rock bands etc who do explosives n stuff like special effects on stage.

That is an amazing job!