**Trigger Warning**Teacher-Pupil "affairs"?

[HarrietPotterska]

Just reading the thread about scandals at school and was shocked by how many people are saying that there were teacher-pupil relationships. It's touched a nerve for me as I was abused by a teacher, when I was in Year 8.

Does anyone here have experience of this? I'm interested whether people look back and don't consider it abuse? (Mine definitely was, I was 12).

Have NC for this as it's a sensitive topic.

A female teacher was having a relationship with a male student on one school I worked in. Everyone knew. I am amazed she wasn’t simply sacked. When he left school, they married. This was almost 20 years ago. I’m still amazed.

@alljustamoopoint

But we can’t retrospectively prosecute nicer

Of course we can. It happens all the time.

@Ikeatears

Yes, it happened to me. Groomed from about the age of 13, nothing physical until the day I turned 16. I thought I was in love. I wasn't, I was a vulnerable child with an unhappy home life who was taken advantage of by a sexual predator. I did report him many, many years later when I heard rumours of other 'situations' with young girls. I'd kept letters and presents and I handed them over to the head teacher (still the same head and he was at the same school) The teacher was on the cusp of being sacked when he resigned. The police couldn't prosecute him because I was over 16 and it was pre 2002 (I think that was the year) although they were extremely frustrated that they couldn't take it further.

Not sure what country you’re in but in the uk historical sexual abuse cases go on all the time. It wouldn’t matter if it was before 2002.

@Onceuponatimethen

Macron would have been of an age to legally consent in France at the time.

Not illegal but very inappropriate

The same re legal consent applies to many of the stories on this thread n

Within the last decade, a family member on my DH’s side was arrested for a relationship with one of his students. There was photographic evidence, but she was 16 at this point and finished school. Relationship ‘officially’ started after GCSEs in his words, but teachers have a duty of care for several months after this - plus, he was her teacher in Yr 11 so whether they waited until after GCSEs or not, there were clearly inappropriate feelings prior to this.
Unfortunately, lots of people have forgiven and forgotten, included his partner who has stuck by him

I had a German teacher who married a sixth former as soon as she left school so obviously had been with her while she was a pupil. He went on to become headmaster. I never got why no one thought it was shocking.

Our music and drama teachers always used to snog 6th formers at the school show cast parties too.

Looking back I was being groomed at 13 but I told my mum who told the school and it stopped. Teacher carried on teaching and was pretty awful to me. No further requests to look at my back (I had complained to a friend it was sore and he overheard) in the starionery cupboard though. No further requests to stay behind class so he could show me pictures of him on nights out. No more compliments on my hair and little light touches etc. Disgusting. I was 13 and flattered as he was cool and handsome. Utter creep.

Absolutely bizarrely he now lives on my road and doesn't recognise me though I bloddy well do him!

Thanks to all who have shown concern! I did report it about a year after it had finished. I was in hospital for anorexia which I 100% blame on him. I was interviewed and the police believed me (thank god), but the CPS felt that I was too vulnerable as a witness so it didn't go to court. He got away with it.

Harriet.

Oh Harriet I’m so sorry. You were treated appallingly.

It could be re-reported now if you wanted to. Times have changed and the Chosen documentary victims were able to get justice after years of refusals to prosecute

I'm sorry, that shouldn't have happened to you. X

I think it's all v. odd. I teach, and the thought of finding anyone I teach attractive is repulsive.

No matter what their physical appearance, one look at them laughing at their mates farting, or girls copying how they wear their hair and giggling over boys, belies their immaturity. If someone can find that attractive there is something fundamentally very wrong.

@HarrietPotterska I'm so sorry this happened to you.x

My Y6 swimming teacher woukd towel dry the developed girls.

He said he had daughters and had seen it all before.