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Original poster

Dead relatives visiting you in dreams.

30 replies

BorderlineHappy · 19/10/2020 16:29

I fell back asleep this morning and had a dream of my mam.

She was crying,and i put my arm around her.And then i woke up.

Shes been dead 20 ears.But something about the dream has upset me,and left me feeling tearful all day.

I just want to cry and go to bed.

OP posts:
lifestooshort123 · 19/10/2020 16:46

I'm so sorry and know how upsetting it can be. As I was on the verge of waking this morning I dreamt of sitting round a table with my sister who was wearing a nylon wig. She died a sudden death 3 years ago (untreated NH lymphoma so she would have lost her hair if she'd had chemo). As I woke up I could still see her at the table and was reaching out to her..... I've still not got over her death as I walked in and found her. I'm so so sorry for you. It will pass and the dream will fade, losing your mum is horrible. Sending a big hug 🤗

Dead relatives visiting you in dreams.
Birdyfrom · 19/10/2020 16:47

Did you comfort her when she was alive in this way? Maybe it was a sign she was drawing close and recognises that something has made you cry recently. My dad died 20 years ago and for a few weeks afterwards I used to dream of the phone ringing and I would answer it and it was him shouting my name, because I had left home before he died the phone was who we used to talk, but something about the shouting of my name upset me. Now when I look back I think he was letting me know he was there. Try talking out loud to your mum and ask her to send a comforting sign or feeling.

Original poster
BorderlineHappy · 19/10/2020 16:58

@lifestooshort123 and @Birdyfrom sorry for your loss as well.

I have dreamt of her before,usually she just pops up.And the house is the way it used to be.

I think its the crying thats upset me.
I think i will go the grave tomorrow with some flowers.

OP posts:
Bouledeneige · 19/10/2020 17:03

Oh OP that's a sad dream to have. My dreams of lost relatives have all been comforting ones where I have seen them and they have told me that they are happy and at rest and looking out for me. I had them when my Grandpa, Auntie and Mum died.

Dreams are simply our brain's way of processing difficult issues so I think that maybe your brain was processing the fact that you might miss, deep down, the comfort and reassurance of your Mum. xxx

RossiRoo · 19/10/2020 17:08

I dream of my nan quite a lot.

She's always ok, I dream of hugging her and it feels so real, so I can imagine how upsetting it must be to have dreamed your mum was distressed or crying.

Have a chat out loud with her, see if it helps.

Someonesayroadtrip · 19/10/2020 17:13

I dreamt of my Bampi last night, he wasn't a big feature in it I guess. I was just in the room with him and they had visitors. He's been dead a few years.

Bouledeneige · 19/10/2020 17:34

I agree with talking to her. I talk to my Mum.

tittysprinkles · 19/10/2020 17:39

I sometimes have dreams with my dad in them. He died 18 years ago, when I was only 20 years old. In these dreams he never died, family life continued with him in them. I always wake up feeling emotional. It's weird because in normal life I can sometimes go for days without thinking about him. Big hugs to you.

mynameisigglepiggle · 19/10/2020 17:47

I often dream of my aunt who died nearly four years ago. They are often quite random. The last one was she turned up at my house with a Dyson hoover that she had converted to rid the world of COVID. you switched it on and it just sucked the virus away!!
I have strange dreams!!

I always find them quite comforting but she's her usual happy self. If she wasn't that would upset me I think. Sending a hug to you OP x

Antonov · 19/10/2020 18:08

Yes I have them too, more so frequently but that is a sign I think of an illness brewing. At least that is when it comes, before I get ill with winter colds and influenza.

My parents were well into their 90 years when they died. Their house was full of furniture and antiques and emblems. Very crowded and fussy. There were always fabrics and curtains and lots of material and places where dust could form. Maps, books, charts and lamps everywhere. It was their perfect home as one was an artist and the other a technical engineer. In my dreams they are even older like in the Victorian eras. Wearing lace and thick jackets of silk. The hair is thick and long, my mothers piled up. But their eyes are dead as they move around and cook for me. My father wore the same dark suit for years and had four plain white shirts which he wore to work, home and to do church. He wears that.

But the thing is they move so slow. The kitchen, in our old pub house is so dark, just a fire and light bulbs that barely register. It is like even moths would not come here, it is so dead. No laughter, no joy. No embarrassing talk about "Hey Antov, remember that day when you fell in the fields and landed in the cow poop". This was the kind of banter we had. We got pissed in that kitchen, but in the dreams that hearth of the house has been taken over.

It is like that scene in Lord of the Rinks when they travel across the dark marshes and lakes and they see the dead souls in some preserved slow-motion on the waterbed below. Its the same dark slowness.

Antonov · 19/10/2020 18:10

Lord of the Rings, I meant to say.

peoniesandfreesias · 19/10/2020 18:14

Ah OP I know that wanting to go back to bed feeling Flowers I occasionally dream of my dad but the weird thing is he never speaks. Not sure what that's all about but it makes me even sadder when I wake up.

FourPlasticRings · 19/10/2020 18:19

Sorry, OP, that must be very distressing. Maybe she is representing a part of yourself in your subconscious? Do you feel like there's any part of you that you're not taking care of?

Terralee · 19/10/2020 18:29

@BorderlineHappy sorry to read that your dream has made you feel sad. I hope that going to your mum's grave helps you.

I dream about my late Nan a lot, she features in my dreams as a cheeky ghost who doesn't know she's dead.
She died in 2017 aged 91, I was very close to her & she had developed dementia with psychosis over approx 2 years.
She was under a Section when she died quite suddenly of pneumonia. So there are some issues there for me to deal with.

When you dream of someone it could be your subconscious trying to tell you that you need to talk about that person.

I also dream almost every night about my first pet cat who died young of cancer in 2018.

Yes I know she was 'just a cat' & I hope I haven't offended anyone by mentioning her.... but I think I dream about her because she was my comfort when I had a psychotic breakdown & major depression.
She meant so much to me as I live alone. She was feral when I rescued her & had become so affectionate to me.

In my dreams she's always running off & disappears just as I wake, just like my Nan...
I like dreaming about them both but I agree it's upsetting too.

Original poster
BorderlineHappy · 19/10/2020 19:10

She was only 57 when she died,i was only 26.

Actually listening to everyone elses stories has made today easier.So thank you.

OP posts:
WildRosie · 19/10/2020 19:35

Dad died a few months ago and Mum just over six years ago. They both appear at night once or twice a week, often at the same time. It doesn't bother me in the slightest because it's not real. Perhaps I'm more emotionally detached than I think.

bluebird243 · 19/10/2020 19:41

I dream of my Granma who died in 1984. Not often lately, but when I do I wake up so very happy. She is usually in the street, going about her business and looking well, once she was in a house and all the family were there too talking to her.

I just get the feeling she is just in another place, just not in our world. She seems content and well.

I have had dreams of my mother who died in 2008, one when she was on the phone to me but her voice gradually died away happened a couple of weeks after she died. No dream of her for a while though, sadly. I get a lot of comfort from the dreams.

PaperMonster · 19/10/2020 19:42

My uncle came to me in a dream to tell me he’d look after my baby. I miscarried the following day.

nildesparandum · 19/10/2020 20:01

My husband died just after last Christmas. A few weeks ago I saw him in my dream, he was walking past me very quickly and not looking at anything.The thing that struck me was the walking quickly.He had a long lasting heart condition and struggled with walking for many years getting extremely breathless.He still had his very pale colour though.
I once dreamed of my grandmother shortly after she died which was over 40 years ago now.We were all in her house sitting round her dining table which was the way she liked to see us.Then suddenly she appeared and sat beside us.She told us she was very happy, and sat around talking to all her friends and relatives who had passed away before her.Then she told us she had to to get back now as she had only come back to tell us she was very happy, not to worry about her anymore, but she had to go back now.

Antonov · 19/10/2020 20:09

@nildesparandum
I had a similar dream!
However in mine, she took out her handbag from under her seat and from it she pulled our Christmas presents from Switzerland - always Lindt chocolate which tasted much better then that today and a summer dress for my mother. At her death, about 35 years ago, in her handbag by our couch on which she lay was her passport, ID card and pension documents. It was like she knew that was to be her last time. Now she pulls in our mind from memories.

Original poster
BorderlineHappy · 19/10/2020 20:13

@PaperMonster sorry for your lossFlowers

OP posts:
VenusClapTrap · 19/10/2020 20:13

Op I lost my Mum when we were similar ages. It hurts so much doesn’t it? There’s so much of my life she never got to see, it’s horribly unfair.

I don’t dream of her very often, and when I do it’s quite frustrating because it’s always very normal; there’s no acknowledgment or even realisation that she’s dead, we are just going about our business like nothing has changed. It’s comforting in a way, but I wish I would tell her I miss her terribly, and give her a hug instead.

StripeyandConfused · 19/10/2020 20:14

@PaperMonster

My uncle came to me in a dream to tell me he’d look after my baby. I miscarried the following day.
I hope thats comforting for you Flowers
whiteflower84 · 19/10/2020 20:20

I had a 'visit' after my father suddenly passed away a few years ago.

I was in his house sorting papers, looked up and there he was, he didn't talk but I could feel sadness from him.

He went out the door to a hearse, for some odd reason I could read that he was wondering whether to get in or drive the hearse! I then shouted him from the window, ran out the front door and we both ran at each other and hugged.

My husband believes it was a goodbye visit. I really hope it was. Thanks

coldwinternightsbrrr · 19/10/2020 20:21

I've had dreams about my parents (they have both passed) that seemed so real. When Ive woken up I really had to remind myself of the reality.
But in the dream it's so intense I can touch them, hear them. It's actually really nice and I've tried to get myself back to sleep to see them again.

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