What is the last dumb injury you had?

[WomenHour]

I this morning fell out of my bed and injured my knee.

I sneezed and jarred my back this afternoon.

I tried to walk, talk and put the lid on my water bottle at the same time and ended up scraping both hands, both knees and bizarrely the tips of my toes on the pavement I almost face planted on.

Stubbed my toe in the kitchen, snapped my toenail, made it bleed.
Climbing in the bath, stubbed exactly the same fucking toe and it bled again

Currently still in a splint boot for this 🙈 sat eating breakfast with my foot under my bum, it went completely dead and when I stood up I went over on my foot and broke it badly!! 6 weeks in this boot and find out on Friday if I need surgery!! Doesn't help being 28wks pregnant and haven't been able to drive or go out on adventures with my 2 dc over the summer holidays at all

Bumped my head trying to insert a ticket to open barriers through my car window except my car window was shut.

Opened the oven door over my foot so I now have a cut and swelling just where my work shoes come up to.

Ouch.

Took the kids to Roman themed crazy golf a few weeks ago, wore sandals, slipped on the astroturf at Trevi Fountain and did a legs up in the air in front of me, slam down on my bum type fall. My coccyx still doesn’t feel right.

Hit thumb with hammer knocking cement render off a stone lintel.

Grated myself one day making lemon meringue, then peeled myself the next making apple cake. Same finger, almost the same place. Not as serious as PPs but required a plaster and I had to do the rest of my cooking one-handed because of the way I did it.

I once bent down to pick one of DD’s toys off of the floor and threw my back out so badly I was stuck in a bending down pose for 4 hours while I waited for diazepam to kick in.

Dd still does her ‘hilarious’ impression of mummy being a crab to this day.

I was cleaning the floor underneath the dining table and a brain fart resulted in me forgetting I was underneath a table - I stood up and bashed my head on the bloody oak 😭😭

Clearing clothes out of one wardrobe in to another, dropped a hanger on the floor while transporting. Walked back in to the room 10 seconds later, stood on the upturned hanger and went over on my ankle. Fun.

Not an injury but I ended up getting wheeled out of my unit, into A and e with an irregular heart rate the other day. Now waiting on an echo.

Jabbed a knife into my hand (didnt cut it just sore) while preparing jacket potatoes

Decided to play football with a windfall apple I spotted walking down the lane. Tried a bend it like Beckham move, twanged something very painfully deep in my buttock and my leg turned to jelly. Hobbled home cursing under my breath. That was a week ago, my buttock is still twinging and I keep expecting my hip/leg to collapse 🙄🍏⚽️😫

I burned 3 fingers yesterday picking up a dish I'd taken out of the oven a few minutes before. Clearly I have the memory of a goldfish

Peeled my knuckle whilst peeling potatoes today.

Bashed my ankle on that little step thing for grandkids to use the bathroom sink because OH put it away right next to the loo. Lovely bruise emerging.

Walked into the towbar on my car.
Multiple times. Only sliced my leg open once though, rest was just bruises.

I set myself on fire trying to reach the further hob while one in front was on. It wasn't that bad, slight burn on my tummy where I caught fire. That was dumbest thing I ever did. It's stupid and funny now, but it was actually really scary when my dc was screaming in panic.

I let a little old man help me with a trolley who then rammed it accidentally over my foot, breaking my little toe.

I'm exceptionally clumsy and some of previous posters examples are all in a normal days work for me.

However, notable recent examples (Last 6 months) include taking the end of my toe and my entire toenail off the toe next to my little toe whilst tripping over the (glass) bathroom scales.

Whacking my head against a pillar in our living room as I sat down. Had a bump and a headache for 2-3 days afterwards.

Standing on the sofa to try and get a full profile in the wall mirror above the fire and hitting my head on the beam directly above the sofa. Not for the first time.

Sewed the tip of my finger with my sewing machine

Ran carrying a toddler to the toilet. Forgot the floor was wet after a shower, slipped and slammed myself and the toddler into the toilet bowl. Toddler had a bloody nose and a grazed finger caused by hitting the toilet seat. I banged my head on the floor, grazed both elbows, bruised my coccyx and had a pretty hearty bruise on my knee from hitting the toilet.

Rather large thumbnail, taking a rather stretchy top off that got stuck on my boobs. Thumbnail went right into my nose cartilage. I'll never forget the sound

Opened a fridge and dislocated my shoulder 🤦‍♀️

Went out of kitchen door to feed pony in the rain . Came back forgetting that my trainers have sod all tread on them , ran into kitchen , slid across floor due to wet trainers + ceramic tiles = skating , and slammed my shoulder into the unforgiving corner of the granite worktop. Saw stars . Thought I’d dislocated my shoulder for a moment. As it turned out , I haven’t , but my shoulder and collarbone are purple .