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Original poster

baby at 38.....next baby when ? Age gaps

43 replies

banoffeejam · 18/08/2020 05:55

What’s a sensible time to wait , given that had no issues conceiving (actually conceived just before turning 38)
Had a c section so would need to wait at least 12m (?) to fully heal but then should we crack on if want a sibling ?
What did other people do and what are your gaps as an older mum-dont want to leave it too late but aware that too close together may be tough on my body ?

OP posts:
Tulipsinmyvase · 18/08/2020 06:33

Personally I wouldn’t wait long. I had 2 babies in my 20’s and last one at 38 and I feel exhausted most of the time. I definitely don’t have anywhere near as much energy.
I wouldn’t plan on having any in my 40’s but that’s only my view many women now do

orangejuicer · 18/08/2020 06:37

First DS at 37, hoping to be pregnant next year when I'll be 38 going on 39. Had a c section also. Agreed with pp that I'm exhausted all the time but we're going to try all the same.

Original poster
banoffeejam · 18/08/2020 06:42

Were you told as well to wait at least 12 months for healing ?

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Families
SquirtleSquad · 18/08/2020 06:42

My DH was 36 when we had twins and 40 with DC3. I don't know if it's because we already had 2 pre schoolers when DC3 came along or because he was a few years older but he really struggled with being exhausted with DC3.

I'd crack on ASAP!

justanotherneighinparadise · 18/08/2020 06:43

I conceived easily at 37 and had a hell of a time conceiving again thereafter. So I wouldn’t be trying to plan an age gap.

SquirtleSquad · 18/08/2020 06:45

I thought the advice was 12 months is preferable but a minimum of 6 months before getting pregnant after CSection.

Good luck to you!!!

GoshHashana · 18/08/2020 06:54

It might not be advisable, but after I have DD1 within the next few weeks, we plan on TTC again in the New Year, all being well. I was 38 when I conceived (39 now) and it took us 7 cycles. We'd like at least one more.

Original poster
banoffeejam · 18/08/2020 06:54

@justanotherneighinparadise were you successful eventually Flowers

OP posts:
custardbear · 18/08/2020 06:58

I had first at 36 and ttc within about 8 months, had a few miscarriages and eventually had second when I just turned 40 (heavily pregnant at 40) so took 2.5 years to conceive and over 3 til he arrived

Personally I wouldn't wait too long as it may be a bit of a journey as fertility is often reduced the older you get

Magicbabywaves · 18/08/2020 07:01

Agree with ASAP. I had my third at 38 and it’s just so much more tiring than I expected.

lozengeoflove · 18/08/2020 07:05

Third at 38.
Christ. Shattered all the time. Then again, not sure how much that has to do with my age or with the fact that I have three little brutes, work full time and have no time for myself Grin

EasilyDelighted · 18/08/2020 07:05

ASAP. I didn't have a section but had mine 23 months apart at 37 and 39. Miscarriage in between. It was a tiring few years (I went back to work FT in between the two) but I wouldn't have said exhausting.

justanotherneighinparadise · 18/08/2020 07:05

[quote banoffeejam]@justanotherneighinparadise were you successful eventually Flowers[/quote]
I had three miscarriages inbetween my children and a TFMR at 42. So I’ve gone through the wringer, but yes, eventually, I managed to have DC2.

sunlight81 · 18/08/2020 07:11

ASAP!!!

There will be 19m between mine I was 37 when I gave birth to my son and 39 when my twins are due.

I want to enjoy my retirement .. plus the older u are the harder it is.

I wasn't told to wait 12m between sections.

Original poster
banoffeejam · 18/08/2020 07:12

I’m so glad you managed to and I’m sorry for everything you went through x

OP posts:
JoJoSM2 · 18/08/2020 07:13

Same age and C section too here. I was too exhausted and sleep deprived to contemplate another pregnancy for a while but have the benefit of frozen embryos in storage. If they weren’t there, we would have started trying after 12-18 months but I was told 18m after C section minimum.

Bupkis · 18/08/2020 07:16

I had
Dd1 at 37
Dd2 at 38
Ds at 41

loulouljh · 18/08/2020 07:22

I had my second at 42...but we didn't intend that big a gap. Had a series of miscarriages in between and count myself very lucky that it all worked out in the end. By choice it would have been a two year gap.

bumpyknuckles · 18/08/2020 07:32

18 months is the best time to leave after you had a baby before trying for another - it gives your body a chance to fully heal, no matter what your age is.

I had my first one at 37, waited until she was 18 months old and then tried for another (I'm now pregnant). I'll have it just over 40. It took me 3 cycles to get pregnant (2 the first time).

If you're knackered, I'd wait a bit. Another few months won't make any difference in terms of your ovaries, but it might in terms of the happiness of everyone involved.

wintertime6 · 18/08/2020 07:33

We had our first when I was 36 and our second when I was 37. I was worried about going back on the pill after our first as I always wondered if I would regret it if we ended up having problems conceiving down the line. So we let fate take its course and ended up with a small age gap. It was hard at the start but definitely worth it now.

Original poster
banoffeejam · 18/08/2020 07:36

I was just wondering if I left a smaller gap yet something wasn’t fully healed and I got pregnant again quickly would I be at higher risk for mc than if I waited more than 12 m and healed fully basically is healing properly more vital than being a few months older or does each month that passes cut my chance significantly due to egg age

OP posts:
Dinosauraddict · 18/08/2020 07:40

Worth thinking about other non-health things - will your career take a bigger hit if you go back to work for less time between pregnancies? Can you afford 2 in nursery FT before free hours kick in (unless you're staying home) etc.

TheABC · 18/08/2020 07:46

Are you breastfeeding? I ask as around the clock feeds can act as a natural contraception (and the tiredness definitely is!).

Whilst I appreciate you are under a time limit, it's worth waiting 6months before trying as it's going to be tough managing the first trimester tiredness on top of a young baby's night feeds.

Banana0pancakes · 18/08/2020 07:46

I fell pregnant 6 months after having a section. I wasn't advised otherwise, had another c section and it was fine. The surgeon was chatting while doing it and he did say if I had a 3rd it would be safest to go for a section.

Screamingeels · 18/08/2020 07:49

I had my two at 38 and 41, two miscarriages in between and one before first. I think I started trying about 12 months.

Miscarriage at 40 was grim. First two I shrugged off as not meant to be but that one was much more 'I am too old, I cannot put myself through hope/disappointment again..' whilst really really wanting a sibling for DD. And then hooray third one stuck and DS is nearly 3 years younger than DD but only 2 school years apart which I always think was very clever of me! Lucky, lucky, lucky.