baby at 38.....next baby when ? Age gaps

[banoffeejam]

What’s a sensible time to wait , given that had no issues conceiving (actually conceived just before turning 38)
Had a c section so would need to wait at least 12m (?) to fully heal but then should we crack on if want a sibling ?
What did other people do and what are your gaps as an older mum-dont want to leave it too late but aware that too close together may be tough on my body ?

First at 36 after fifteen years of trying, IVF failing and multiple losses. Fell with Dd after being told I wouldn't and carried to term.

Decided never to try again and take a what will be will be approach. Now 22 weeks with dc2 and due Xmas will be 38.

So DC2 was 18 months of not trying but not using contraception. By not trying I mean not charting, temping, not even thinking about it and a sort of acceptance it wouldn't happen.

Given your age I would wait 9-12 months and crack on.

I had my first at 34. My periods didn't return for 18months, then I had two mcs at 10weeks each. I'm pregnant now so will have my second at 37. I wouldn't wait tbh.

I think two years apart is best. I had my first at 41 then second 20 months later, both by caesarean. I wasn't told to wait.
A friend has had three by section, the first two one year apart in her mid 30s then a five year gap for her third at 40. Physically she was fine but wished for slightly longer gap between first two and smaller for third.

2.5-3 years is a good gap.

I had my first at 41, if we have a second (not sure) we’d aim for 2.5 years. We can’t afford 2 in nursery until 30hrs kicks in anyway.

@icedaisy that’s amazing I’m really pleased for you. Those 15 years must have been so hard

I think probably 12 m is best but my periods usually return around 8/9 months so maybe I’ll see how I feel at that point and probably go for it if I feel physically well although 12 m seems sensible as some have said 6m her and others up to 18 m

I’m just worried I don’t want to misjudge it as would love another and a smaller gap is better than not getting there at all

I wasn't told to wait either as both mine were sections. Got pregnant with second when first was 21 months and baby was born when first was 2.5 years. I was 26 and 29. Attempted another at the grand old age of 34 and miscarried. My body is old!

I had my first at 37 and second at 39. There is a 21 month gap. I didn't find it particularly tiring ( except at the the newborn stage) but I have been very lucky with having very good sleepers. I wouldn't leave a long gap as you don't know how your fertility will be. Personally I would check medical advice re how long to leave it after a caesarean and go by that.

I second the speaking to a midwife. I think 6 months is a nice break to focus on baby, sleep and body recovery. I had two cycles TTC whilst breastfeeding, no joy, stopped breastfeeding and conceived third cycle so bear that in mind sooner rather than later if time is scarce.

From the recovery point of view I would definitely wait 12 months before getting pregnant (precious c section here too). The surgeon said ideally wait 2 years between deliveries if poss. So maybe that would be a good target if you also keen to crack on for age reasons - think about trying after 12 months then hopefully you’ll catch within a few months so there will be 2 years between deliveries !

I have a two years gap between my first and second. Both breech babies and csections. I will be 38 this month and gonna try for another baby. The gap between be longer between them now. A smaller gap works better as hard to work with different needs. Circumstances weren’t on our side so couldn’t do a smaller gap.

@banoffeejam

Were you told as well to wait at least 12 months for healing ?

I fell pregnant with my third child when my second child was 10months old - and I was 38 years old. All babies were c-section deliveries. No issues.

@SquirtleSquad

I thought the advice was 12 months is preferable but a minimum of 6 months before getting pregnant after CSection.

Good luck to you!!!

Yes that's broadly what I was told, too.

Had first at 38 and second at 41. I am 48 now, exhausted and fed up all the time! I wish I had my DCs earlier.

I had my first in Oct 2018 when I was 38 and my second in Oct 2019 when I was 39. It's extremely hard work with 2 so close together!! I had c sections with both and there were no issues from that side.

Just 39 and knocking on 42 here, so a 2 year 10 month gap. Would probably have tried earlier but my period didn't come back for nearly 2 years after the first baby.

DD at 38, DS 2yrs2months later - I was 40. I get that you want to make sure fertility is not an issue but I'm not sure I would have wanted a much closer gap. DD could play quite happily /bring me books to be read to when I was breastfeeding my son. We used to go to lots of toddler groups and again DD was easier to supervise as she knew the set up and already had some play mates so it was easier to juggle both. Physically I also felt as if my body had had time to recover inbetween pregnancies.

I have two year gaps almost to the day with my three. I had three c sections. They were all planned because I've had surgery for crohns. I healed really well despite my other problems so for most of us who've had sections I think 12 months before trying for another baby is reasonable. I was nearly 37 when the third was born. Good luck .