A friend needs some inventive words she can label her ex (in her head)

[Wrybread]

My friend isn't on here yet. She has an abusive ex and is enjoying calling him all sorts of names in her head etc but she'd like some new inventive ones to add to her collection. I'm not much help to her on this, as I'm not really a sweary type. Cockwomble and wankbadger are the best I've given her, and I got them from on here anyway. Can you help?

I can't. I think I'd just advise her to stop thinking about him and wasting the energy on him, of he's that awful. I don't mean that unkindly.

She may find it helpful to compose a wee song about him. The tune of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star lends itself well to such a thing and can be customised to make it very personally about him. It is also fun to change his name in her phone to Twinkle. It can help diminish the power of his abuse.

I find those kinds of strategies helpful. It's extra helpful if it relates to the person though. What's he done to be worth the scorn?

How about airwaster? Bellyacher? Skidmark? Pukebag?

Shakespeare's pretty good at insults.

www.nosweatshakespeare.com/resources/shakespeare-insults/

Clouted, boggish , foot-licking half-wit is my favourite Shakespearean one.

Clouted, boggish , foot-licking half-wit

Do you think he would answer to his true name??

Choose a villain from a film. I have a nickname for my XH based on that!

Loving these so far.

So, yes, giving him names is about taking her power back.

He's not allowed to contact her directly so she doesn't need to change his name on her phone, but the nursery rhyme idea is genius. I think I did similar with an ex years ago

I don't usually swear a lot, but I heard someone called a 'fuck knuckle' the other day and it made me laugh.

Fuckpig is popular in my house

Ocean going copper bottomed turd

Unmitigated wankpuffin was one I saw used that I liked recently

Fuck face had always been a favourite of mine!

Cunt-alope

I'd go for
Badger humping camel wrangling sock munching twatfaced cum bucket!
... sorry I hate my ex!

As pp:
Gold plated, ocean going, copper bottomed, 24 carat, prize winning, Olympic standard BASTARD!
Cuntpuffin.
Twatty McTwattington.
The Arsehole of Fuckedy-Chase
Moron McFucknose (as in “Fuck knows what he thinks he’s playing at”)

(Caveat - i like all my exes, but i also Have had some colleagues in the above categories and like swearing )

I'm likely outing myself here but my dad coined the term Juan Kerr for my poisonous ex

Cuntweasel
Twat waffle
Wankbadger
Fuck nugget

As you may have guessed I have an ex of my own I would cuss out on the regs when we first split. I came to think of him as 'the fuckwit' which was quite satisfying!
Or the sad, pathetic, cowardly sack of shit.

BollockWeasel

FlounderingPlatypusTwunt

TwatMaestroWombatPenis

Tell us more about him! Personalised slur names are always the best ones what were his ugliest traits?

Fucker.

Haemorrhoid

Moany MacMoanface

Shit stain

Bawbag