If you had to have a servant, what random tasks would you get them to do?

[alphabetspagetti]

Yet again, I've come to bed without bringing up a glass of water and just can't be bothered to go down and get myself one. Not only will I wake up thirsty, but this has destroyed my feeling of smugness of actually remembering to put my overnight oats to do their thing for about the first time since lockdown started (used to do it as part of getting bags ready for school/work the night before).
Other tasks which I would really like someone else to do:

• unpack the supermarket shopping. By the time I get back from the supermarket, I am over the whole supernarket experience and really cannot be bothered to put it all away especially now when I'm only going every 8 - 10 days and have to play fridge & cupboard Tetris.
• water the houseplants. It's a while since I've actually killed one but I think that that is because the only ones which are still standing bare survivors and/or designed for deserts
• emptying the waste paper baskets in each room. I can manage emptying the main bin but get annoyed by the individual ones

Empty things. I don't mind doing the first half of most tasks but its the emptying/unpacking that I hate. This applies to bins, dishwasher, washing machine, putting clean bedding on, drying my hair and unpacking shopping.

I don't mind doing the first bit of any of these tasks, but the second part... 🙄

I’d like someone to give me massages - my feet, calves, neck and shoulders need regular attention and the boyfriend doesn’t do massages. He does water the plants, empty the bins and tuck me in.
I’d also like someone to clean the blinds, dispose of all the dead insect bodies which have started appearing, tidy up all my shit, do my work and guard the kitchen from me once I’ve reached my limit on calories.

Eat the Bountys from tubs of Celebrations.

Pick up Lego.
Sort a Lego filing system so we can always find the brick we need
Sort Hama beads by colour
Shuffle cards
Tell the children to pick up their coats/shoes/random paraphernalia and to clear up their mess after making food.

I would have clothes manager who just does everything clothes related, washing, drying, ironing, folding, putting away, mending etc. For all of us, not just me.

I would also have a package coordinator who looks after incoming and outbound parcels. Opens them, puts the item away, disposes packaging, and for outbound wraps up Ebay sales and takes them to the post office.

Fold back the duvet and turn the fan on before I go to bed so I have an icy cold bed to get into
And all the cleaning. I don't mind cooking
But I hate cleaning.

Change light bulbs.

Exactly what @Sadie789 said re. a clothes manager! All of that, plus sorting the DC's clothes once they grow out of them and shopping for replacements. It's never-ending!

Give me a salon standard blow dry twice a week
Plan and cook all meals
Put fresh sheets on the bed every single day

Drive me to places and if I am in heels carry me so I don't have to walk

I'm exactly like @TokyoSushi and I will add recycling Amazon boxes, wine bottles, OJ carton, water bottles. I can't do this.

Bins, cat litter and neck massages.

Bring me tea first thing in the morning.
Put the bins out.
Replace light bulbs.
Cut the grass ( I need a gardener really )
Fix dripping taps.
And 101 other things.

Homeschool my DD. Put the bins out. Clean the bathroom. Provide childcare. Clean out rats, Guinea pigs and rabbits. Cook meals. Back tickles. I could go on

Do the washing and put it in the dryer, then get it out and fold it and put it away. Put put the bins. Empty the dishwasher. Bring me drinks. Walk the dogs.

All the cooking. That’s it. I’d happily do every other job in the house if someone else took on all the cooking. I hate it. I’m awful at it. No-one enjoys my food, including me. Food is like a foreign language to me. I literally just want someone to put a plate of lovely food in front of me every evening.

Wash and dry my hair. It's long and thick and I get so bored.
Hoover. I really hate doing it.
Eat my baking so I don't eat it all myself. 🙄😂😂😂

Flush the toilets. Ds has finally learnt to wipe his own bum (hooray!) but apparently “the bit of my brain that remembers to flush the toilet is busy being a superhero”.

It would be so nice to be able to approach a loo without wondering what I will find....

So sorry but that really made me laugh. 😂😂😂

• Full body massage

• Change beds

• Make me nice healthy food every day

• Wash and massage my head / hair in a 'hairdressers sink' at home though obviously :)

• Folding and putting laundry away

• Dusting

@Mumoftwoyoungkids I still get that with a lovely 12 year old DD. (sorry)

Find stuff that's been lost somewhere around the house.

at the Bounty celebrations (agree).

The ironing. I don't mind the cleaning and cooking but I cannot stand ironing.

Tidy up after the dogs, who bring in sticks and chew them, leaving bits everywhere.

Tidy up after lovely but messy DH who always leaves a job almost finished but not quite. However, in his defence he eats all the Bountys as for some reason he likes them and he brings me tea every morning, so he's really a keeper.

Everything probably! Tops would be going up/down stairs, because I'm ALWAYS forgetting something, hoovering a close 2nd, then cooking, washing up.

Mopping floors because for some reason I hate that job.

I'd like a full-time spider catcher who is always alert to those 8 legged menaces.