If you had to have a servant, what random tasks would you get them to do?

[alphabetspagetti]

Yet again, I've come to bed without bringing up a glass of water and just can't be bothered to go down and get myself one. Not only will I wake up thirsty, but this has destroyed my feeling of smugness of actually remembering to put my overnight oats to do their thing for about the first time since lockdown started (used to do it as part of getting bags ready for school/work the night before).
Other tasks which I would really like someone else to do:

• unpack the supermarket shopping. By the time I get back from the supermarket, I am over the whole supernarket experience and really cannot be bothered to put it all away especially now when I'm only going every 8 - 10 days and have to play fridge & cupboard Tetris.
• water the houseplants. It's a while since I've actually killed one but I think that that is because the only ones which are still standing bare survivors and/or designed for deserts
• emptying the waste paper baskets in each room. I can manage emptying the main bin but get annoyed by the individual ones

Cook my gorgeous meals, every day.

Do the ironing - I hate that task!

A personal chef is my dream.

I'd quite like some of these jobs if you paid decent wages:

Dp does the shopping but I always put it away (otherwise it might be in the "wrong" order).
Folding and sorting laundry is ok
Sorting lego would be great.
I used to love organising dd's hama beads. I bought some special craft boxes so that different shades had their own compartment.
I've been into school in the holidays before now to reorganise my cupboards and rather enjoyed it.

I'm autistic and anything like that appeals.

Cleaning on the other hand....

I'd love someone to clean my skirting boards and window sills.

Clean the bathroom. I loathe doing this, but it has to be done at least once a week. I’d have someone do it daily.

They could also deal with my paperwork, clean the fridge and go to my job for me.

Take the recycling out to the big recycling bin.

Marie Kondo the shelves and anywhere that stuff has accumulated.

The parcel management service is a brilliant idea, I'd take one of those.

Open boring letters from bank/utilities etc and recycle/file/shred as appropriate.

Take stuff to the dump.

Get up on ladders for me.
I have to do a full health and safety check before I even stand on a chair!

Cooking, ironing, gardening.

Sort the recycling

Put the laundry away

Put laundry away, do all the food shopping & cooking so they provide me with healthy food.

Cleaning & hoovering.

I’d love to come back to a clean home. I can cope with shopping, cooking, washing, home schooling, gardening etc but I hate having to clean up when I’m tired, and the alternative is getting up in the morning to pre-made mess, which is even worse.

DS is 11. He finally understands that leaving the loo unflushed is putting his future at risk.

Cooking.

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll I'll be your servant!

God, I'd love all the Bounty celebrations
I'm happy with all laundry, shopping, even cooking.
My slave would clean like a wizard, everywhere. Inside bins, tops of doors, backs of sofas. And they would have the nicest smelling cleaning products, so everywhere was sparkling and pleasing to the nose.

Did anyone see the episode of Frasier where he gets a butler? I would like my servant to be just like Ferguson.

Applying makeup when I'm going out - I can never put makeup on as well as other women seem to manage it
shellac my nails
motivate me to exercise daily
suggest new music I might like - I sometimes get bored with music I already like
wash/blow dry/colour my hair
massage my feet after painting my nails
clean my shoes
remove unwanted hair painlessly yet effectively

I'd like a full-time spider catcher who is always alert to those 8 legged menaces.

Ooh yes, I'd like one of those too.

Dusting, window cleaning and gardening except actually cutting the grass.

Agree with PP re putting away shopping. Especially as our food storage is on two different floors and three rooms - small kitchen and townhouse style house so have deep freezer and second fridge in the garage, pantry in the understairs cupboard and the rest in the kitchen on 1st floor.

My other loathed jobs of vacuuming, wiping the table and putting dishes away were delegated to the 3 DCs as their after dinner jobs over a year ago and that works really well!

At the moment, home school my children. They won't listen to me, I don't know how to explain maths or what a literal question is and I'm not good at thinking up suitable things for Reception learning.
Also, sit by my 5 year old for a hour or so every evening until she goes to sleep. After 5 years I am over that and would like an evening sometimes but she will not go to sleep on her own. Finish decorating the bathroom as DH started that 3 years ago and it still isn't finished. Work out where things live in my house, remove toys and clothes DC have grown out of so we have space for new ones.
I desperately need someone to clean and tidy my house because I can't do that while doing my actual job and teaching my children and not having a breakdown. I used to do almost all my tidying and cleaning on my days off while DH was at work and DC were at school, now I don't have days on my own to get anything done and as soon as I have tidied a tiny bit of space someone has messed it back up again so it all feels futile.

Pairing socks.

clean and tidy

Change bedding every day for crisp sun dried linen

Freshly teapot brewed oolong are regular intervals

I will sort someone’s Lego and eat the Bounty celebrations in exchange for having my hair blow dried / having someone find homes for all the “toys” which are not quite rubbish but not exactly long term investments, eg the broken shipping rope which is now a cat toy, the petals and leaves brought in from the garden, the scraps of paper which are make believe party invitations or receipts. I hate dealing with that crap.

Clean the skirting boards, apply suncream to the children, deal with and file all incoming post, bills etc. Put away all the scooters, bikes, paddling pool etc from the garden at the end of the day and clean the bbq.

I think I just want an old fashioned housekeeper. Who would organise the cleaning, cooking and gardening while also ensuring that all the appointments that are needed for me and DD are arranged and attended. And who could shop for my clothes and style my hair! And buy all presents for birthdays, christenings and Christmas.

Basically I'm a 30 year old woman who wants to revert to toddler hood! Maybe I should ask my mum to come back and look after me again!