I’m placing my faith in MN to answer a question that has been bugging me since 1984

[Pinkarsedfly]

...and it’s a very important one, so brace yourselves.

What the fuck is Tina Turner holding on the cover of the Private Dancer album?

This has been annoying me on and off since 1984 when my big sister brought the damn thing home.

I’ve peered at it, I’ve googled it, I’ve asked DH (who can’t make it out and for some reason doesn’t seem to think it’s important, the weirdo) and I’m no nearer the truth.

I’ve considered the possibility it’s a bit of Easter egg, as it seems to be the right shape and colour, but it wasn’t released at Easter and there’s no reference to Easter on the album.

I wondered if it was a cat treat, given the presence of a cat - but la Turner appears to be eating something and, although she possesses a certain feline beauty, I don’t think that’s down to the consumption of Dreamies.

Can anyone help? Does anyone definitively know?

Thirty five years, this has been bugging me. Do a sister a favour, please...

I don’t want it to be a fish

Someone might have mentioned this already, but didn't Tina sing a cover of the David Bowie song 'Cat People'? Maybe the photo is something linked to that?

Genuinely always thought the cover had Tina Turner with a small panther on a lead.

Quite shocked it's just a normal cat.

But maybe still on a lead?

To me it looks like a strip of dried meat that has had a fishnet pattern photoshopped on top of it in an attempt to hide it

Could it be a deeply symbolic fish?

Part of a kipper, representing that nasty piece of work, Ike?
(i.e. two-faced and spineless!)

Note her pointing to a disdainful expression.
Whilst exuding the sexiness he famously resented, as he was insecure and jealous.

Nah, think was just a fish bribe for the cat. Sorry!

Hmm...Ike. Pike.

Good theory. I think it might be the clumsy photoshop though, in reality.

Which means, if it’s true, that I’ve been being driven mad for 35 years by something I’m not even supposed to have noticed.

If that’s not a life lesson, it should be.

No reply from Mr Photographer yet.

I got in touch with the photographer myself. This was the official prototype, but they had to change it at the last minute for fear that, however subtle, it could potentially fall foul of strict product placement rules.

I think it's a dried sardine!

webuiltthisbuffet

We always sing 'Hold me closer Tony Danza' to Elton John. Much more fun.

My username is because the song was misheard in case anyone was wondering!

I'll go for mackerel! It looks like there is a stripe patterned on the fish...

webuiltthisbuffet

Have a look at the video for Private Dancer on You Tube. A man seems to pay Tina 20 pence for a dance. No wonder she's cheesed off with her job.

Back in the 80s 20p was a fortune. You could get 40 white mice, that must be why the cat is hanging about

shamelessly following

Time for a recap.

So far theories are...

-biltong
-a fish
-a tiny cock and balls
-a bit of beef
-a plectrum
-a pinch of fishnet stocking

All of the above (bar the tiny cock and balls) are ideas I’ve had over the past few decades. If nowt else, this thread has at least provided vindication. I’m not the only one that thinks it’s a bloody weird image.

Isn't it a key?

A key?!

Definitely a cat treat. It's not a pinch of stocking because the net is not distorted /pulled and it had a shadow.

I always thought it was a Yale type key she is holding between her finger and thumb pointing away from her.

Shamelessly placemarking. Dying to know. I've not got my lenses in, it looks like a strange vagina

It’s a wee fish.

My money's on one of these.

These suggestions are sheer comedy gold!

Give yourselves a round of applause