I’ve never met my mum AMA

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I have, of course technically met her as that would be a biological impossibility. But she left when I was six months old and I haven’t seen her since. Nobody has any idea where she is, even her parents didn’t up until they died! AMA

Maybe this might be useful for you @Joliefolie but I agree with the OP that given the topic your comment feels accusatory and lacks any compassion given the topic under discussion. Just in case you have decided that it might be the OPs sensitivity to the topic under discussion rather than your own lack of sensitivity towards the OP that lead to her replying as she did.

@SillyBoyChuckie This is (was) an AMA. Is an AMA supposed to be useful for the poster or for the audience? FWIW I agree that my comment would not be appropriate for a thread posted in the Relationships forum. Just in case you have decided that you should monitor my future comments for sufficient display of senstivity.

Gosh OP!

I remember reading in the newspaper many years ago of a bloke who traced his biological parents who'd given him up for adoption as a baby. They were still together, and went on to have another four children together who lived with them as one big happy family. I can't quite imagine how that must have felt 🤯🤯🤯

So pleased you have such a lovely dad and stepmum! Sorry about your brother.

This is interesting. I am adopted and I honestly can't imagine how this would feel. I have had contact with my paternal birth family and honestly FOR ME family is shared memories and who you have grown up with. I have not met my maternal family, so I guess it's possible I might feel something more instinctive there. What I mean is even if the whole family had stayed together, they might feel like strangers, and you wouldn't necessarily feel you are "missing out" emotionally.

Also, maybe the parents had the initial, adopted child when they were teens. If this was in the 1960s/70s you could see how that happened but that they stayed together and had a family when they were older and more settled. What I would find more upsetting to process is a mother/parents giving up a child born later. I think this would really trigger the rejection emotion for me. I have heard stories about this.

I saw a man on Long Lost Family who had one older sibling, then he was born and was given up for adoption but his brother wasn’t, then his parents went on to have two more after him that also weren’t given up for adoption. I don’t think I’d ever get over that, if I were him.

Yes, I saw this too. I agree it would be very hard.

Goodness this is very difficult. So your brother must have known her very well! Did she actually bring him up and just leave?

I’m an adoptive parent of two. A single female adopter. I’m finding the thread fascinating as the legal parent of two children who are/have grown up without a male presence.

Yes she raised him as a single parent (with help from her parents) until he was 10

That's so sad about the post natal depression. I've never met my biological Mum either but my adopted Mum (and Dad) were my world.

Can't imagine growing up without a Mum as a guiding hand on your shoulder.

Even now I think 'is this top okay with these trousers?' knowing Mum, when asked, would always know the answer.