I have 3.5 loo rolls and half a packet of pasta left AMA

[NachoNachoMan]

I have 3 and a half rolls of toilet paper left. 2 toilets, 3 kids.

I have half a packet of pasta left. Fancy tricolour twists too, not just normal yellow stuff.

We have a couple of tins each of beans, tomatoes and soup.

Not panicking, what will be will be.

Ask me anything

I dont have a question, I just admire your bravery

My friend is down to ‘penis pasta’ that was part of her hen party celebrations.

Has anyone else checked the sex shops for pasta?

@MaomiMak haha brilliant! Everyone will be making that when they have an abundance of loo roll and pasta

What will you be having with your pasta?

I found it very funny last week in Asda when the shelves of dried pasta were empty, but the shelves of ragu / bolognaise / tomato / pesto were still very well-stocked. Are people planning on eating just pasta? Pasta and butter? You'll need sauce!

Pasta and butter / cheese is fine

Bland but if you had no option it's fine

@Eggysmom

Home made asta sauce is nicer than store bought. Plenty of people make their own.

@DonnaDarko thank you good luck in these crazy mixed up times, I'm hoping you'll come back and pity me when I post in a few weeks that I have no toilet paper and I should have listened to MN wisdom!

@GreenTulips good call, can tell the kids its bunny pasta

Do you have plenty of odd or holey socks?

@emilybrontescorsett in that case, I need to make sure I get a receipt, I usually say no thanks to the cashier. It's free and its edible, I'm literally throwing away good food.

@EggysMom, @MaomiMak & @kahlanrahl my kids often ask for plain pasta but I tell them I'm giving them helicopter pasta instead.

@picklemewalnuts yes, we do, using that as loo roll is a good money saving tip. Could write in to Take A Shite tips sections with that and get £25 if it's the star tip!

When the socks run out, or the holes are too unpredictable, cut old T-shirt's into squares. Who knows, you may prefer it long term!

@picklemewalnuts you are on fire! I was going to suggest if I still have food and don't need to eat receipts as per @emilybrontescorsett 's suggestion, I could use those to wipe my bum, but old clothes would be much softer. I'm so pleased I'm getting so much great advice on this thread

I've read your accounts of extreme risk taking and have no questions, just respect

@nursejaques there is a fine line between risk taking and stupidity. Only time will tell which side of the line I'm on re pasta and loo roll during this whole coronavirus malarkey

Actually here's a tip I'm willing to share.
Keep your till receipts, if you think you don't have any route through your shopping bags, there are usually a few scrunched down in the bottom. When cooking pasta, add some finely shredding receipts into the mix and stir well.
It will add a crunch to your dish and make it take longer to chew but your family will never, ever moan about your cooking again.
Result.

I finally have the excuse I needed to buy one of those neat finger clips to tell you what your O2 saturation is. Hooray!

Hoard that pasta carefully, OP. You may need it as an emergency craft activity if the DCs get bored...

Op you are a true hero for our times.

LOL! I just wanted to say shitty arses on the internet.
There’s never an opportunity to slip that into a convo is there 🤣
And people are being super serious so thought it might make you smile.

Haggisfish you'll need to wait a bit longer than 8 weeks. Get your potatoes in mid-March, good. Then the summer crops (Charlotte, pink fir, Anya etc) will be ready in around 13 weeks. Main crops (king Edwards, Desiree etc in around 17 weeks)

By the way, I am not advocating growing potatoes for the purpose of wiping bums when global bog rolls supplies run out.

OP are you one of those people who lives life on the edge, like those who drive their car when petrol is on the red to test the reliability of the miles countdown counter. Liking your style keeps life interesting and you might be able to sell that pasta for a nice tidy profit.

Haha-yes indeed I do drive down to the last thirty miles as well.

@emilybrontescorsett thank you for that very useful advice!!

@picklemewalnuts that's very true. I will make sure the kids do not eat it incase they fancy making pasta pictures in the coming weeks

@RJnomore1 I shall be expecting a statue commissioned by the end of next week! Boudica, Millicent Fawcett, Queen Victoria.. and Nacho (wo)man!

@crosser62 thank you, yes definitely smiling at shitty arses! I challenge you to slip it into conversation over the next week 💩🍑

@WildCherryBlossom wow so much advice on this thread 😂 p.s. love cherry blossom this time of year!

@FAQs & @Haggisfish OMG yes, I'd forgotten about that, drove round the Lake District for about 5 miles when the car stated 0 miles left as the Sat-Nav hadn't been updated since buying it several years earlier and kept taking us to closed down petrol stations. Giving me palpitations right now thinking about it!!!

Also... went shopping and bought loo roll, I'm sorry to you all, I couldn't leave it any longer... wasn't panic buying just buying because we actually needed some. Theres loads in Waitrose though if anyone needs any 😂😂😂

Hopefully the pic will work now 🤞🤦🏼‍♀️

We were running out of loo roll. Everywhere sold out... except M and S where there was plenty but much more expensive.