I had a major primary post partum haemorrhage, AMA

[Cheesenacho123]

Ask me anything

[Fattygettingthin]

What happened? Did your DH panic? Are you okay now? :)

[Cheesenacho123]

Completely fine now (almost two years down the line). My partner didn’t panic at all, he looked relaxed but told me later on he was freaking out majorly inside that he’d just become a dad and was only slightly worried about me.

The first we knew about me haemorrhaging (sort of) was I was gushing blood during the pushing stage (we didn’t have a clue though as no one said anything and due to blue drapes couldn’t see anything, I found out it was blood after I’d given birth. By someone telling me ‘you bled all over the floor’) then I fainted in the delivery room 3hrs after giving birth at which point I was rushed to theatre for GA in order to remove retained products.

[ReggieKrayDoYouKnowMyName]

I had two of these OP- did you end up on ICU and did you have transfusions? With DD2 I was on ICU for three days and ended up having 6 units transfused. Felt the illest I can ever recal. Was foul.

[Cheesenacho123]

No I stayed on the delivery ward, I was between my room, theatre and recovery bays by theatre. In order to go to icu I would have needed to be transferred by heli to the next nearest hospital with an icu or hdu. I have heard recently two women after giving birth had lost so much blood they had to transfer them to icu by heli.

I had two bags of blood (I believe that was two units) transfused.
Definitely felt awful! Felt like I’d literally been hit by a truck!

[Blerg]

This is interesting, thanks for posting OP. I had a blood transfusion- two unit though they talked about 4 initially. I’ve never met anyone else who had this.

How long do you feel it took to recover?

[Cheesenacho123]

The only other person I knew who went through the same thing was a lady I work with. It didn’t even cross my mind that it would happen to me so never really gave it a second thought whilst pregnant.

It was two weeks to a month before I managed to feel up to getting out more and driving. I was probably fully recovered two-three months post partum mainly because I tore a hole in my stitches from slipping on wooden flooring so they took longer to heal.

I don’t think I’ll ever recover from the emotional/psychological trauma of it all, even two years down the line nearly, I still have times where I blame myself, where I feel guilty, where I hate what happened, where I wish I could go back and change what happened, where I wish I could forgot all the bad stuff or where I wish I could remember more about the good side of my sons birth. I have to remind myself when I go through the down times that I have a beautiful healthy son from it all.

[Blerg]

@Cheesenacho123 sorry to hear that.

My circumstances were different (long induction) and my PPH seemed related to that or forceps / episiotomy. I’ve had to had an operation after my second child to repair that. But I really really to the trauma. I felt for a while like I had PTSD. I have had counselling which helped, and prior to my second birth went through my notes with the midwives. The second birth was fine, normal, and helped me move on. I hope it’s ok to say that.

Why do you think you feel guilty? Have you talked it over with anyone?

[Blerg]

Really relate that should say.

[Cheesenacho123]

It’s ok. It’s good to hear from others that have been through similar. I wish that a second birth would help me but I honestly don’t know if I could go through it all again because you just don’t know whether it’ll happen again or it’ll be a normal birth.

I spoke with the head consultant of the maternity unit four months afterward and it just didn’t help.

I feel guilty because I only saw my son for the first 3hr of his life then I was in theatre and recovery until he well over 12hrs old so he was starving waiting for me (got given formula rather than my milk because I was supposed to breast feed but wasn’t there), I didn’t get to see his cord being cut (I don’t even remember why but I wanted to see it), I missed his first nappy change and clothes being put on him, we didn’t do much skin to skin in this first few hours and I just didn’t bond with my son well because I couldn’t hold him for long and I couldn’t pick him up for the first week of his life (he had to be passed to me) because it was painful. It just wasn’t the start to being a mum that I had imagined.

[sunlighthouse]

Blimey OP, I also had a PPH and ended up in theatre under GA and I've never once felt guilty about it.

I've felt guilty about a hell of a lot of things since becoming a parent but not that. Honestly, it was totally out of your (our!) control, please don't feel guilty!

for you. Are you considering having another child or has it put you off?

[Cheesenacho123]

I know it was out of mine/our control but I don’t know, the feeling is just there for some reason. I suppose I do take things hard on myself.

I would love another child, I would love being pregnant again but there’s so much that is stopping me from having another.

[Blerg]

I totally understand that bonding issue. It took ages for me but was ok. I hope you feel bonded now.

I would really consider counselling to help deal with feelings around all of it.

[Lunde]

I'm really happy that you have recovered OK.

I had a major PPH following the birth of DD1. In total I had to be transfused with 6 units (they said it was concentrated blood and not ordinary whole blood). I had emergency surgery and spent the first night in an hdu.

I can understand what you are saying about feeling the lack of bonding. I didn't see DD1 at all as she was severely distressed and taken by incubator directly to nicu. I didn't get to do any of those firsts either. It all felt a bit surreal when I was in recovery.

I did have a second baby and they were very prepared. I did start to bleed but they had different injections of varying strengths. I was OK and able to leave after 12 hours.

[Cheesenacho123]

Oh yeah I definitely feel bonded now, I’m with my son all day every day and we love each other to bits. It was just that first couple of weeks that were the hardest.

I would seek counselling but I wouldn’t know where to go to get that counselling. It’s nice to hear others have had second babies and things have gone better. The consultant I spoke to at my debrief said I could contact him any time but I just don’t feel like he could give me any helpful information further on from what he’s already said

[BendydickCuminsnatch]

Don’t have a question but sympathies to you OP! what a traumatic event. I’ve haemorrhaged with both of mine (although the first barely counted). The second was in November just gone, ELCS, but they found out when they cut into me that my blood vessels were in the wrong place and they had no choice but to slice through them 🤣 so it was controlled/dealt with well. Didn’t know what happened until afterwards. DH did see a lot of blood spurt onto the floor. I lost half my blood volume but only received one bag so it wasn’t too bad. Night in the high dependency room with a 1:1 midwife was good though! The worst thing is that now I can’t give blood!! I’d always been to wimpy/selfish to before and now I’ve had one unit I never can!!! Honestly gutting.

Oh actually I do have a question - what is ‘major primary haemorrhage’? Don’t know what the categories mean.

[inniu]

I had a major pph after 1st baby. I was in ICU for 2 weeks and normal ward for another 9 days. Turned out I had undetected Acute Fatty Liver of Pregnancy and very little clotting factor in my blood.

I was in and out of consciousness for the first week. I manage to establish breastfeeding afterwards and eventually eliminated formula. No one told that it would be very difficult so I just kept trying!

I had 3 more children afterwards. I had pphs on all. Technically they were classed as major but didn’t need transfusions or prolonged hospital stays.

[inniu]

Meant to add I never felt guilty and my eldest is now 16 and our bond seems fine.

[BendydickCuminsnatch]

I spose mine wasn’t post partum! I guess the post-partum aspect of it makes it more shocking, you think you’ve got through labour and then you haemorrhage?

[Cheesenacho123]

Major is anything over 1000mls (minor would be under 1000mls) and primary is within the first 24hrs (secondary is after 24hrs)

[Cheesenacho123]

I understand the gutting feeling about not being able to give blood, it sucks!

[Bowlofbabelfish]

I lost 2l - I’ve often wondered why I was never treated for it. Maybe that’s a minor amount - what’s the threashold for treatment do you know?

Did you feel that ‘shit, I’m actually bleeding out’ feeling? Can’t really explain it but you can feel it draining out of you.

[OrianaBanana]

I had one too, 2L, retained products etc. Just went to a debrief about it which helped, I don’t know if your hospital do similar

[Cheesenacho123]

The hospital checked my bloods and my haemoglobin levels had dropped down to around 50/60 from 120. I remember someone telling me after I fainted they were going to give me blood and did I consent.

[Cheesenacho123]

I remember saying In theatre (when I was giving birth) ‘ooo there’s a lot of waters still coming’ ‘that was a big gush’ but no one ever said it was blood not waters to me, only after I’d been in recovery for some time did someone tell me that. Other than that I had no idea anything was retained inside me or that I was bleeding heavily. One minute I was being made to walk to the toilet, the next I was on the bed on my back on oxygen with alarms going off around me, then I was being wheeled back to theatre and being put under GA. Didn’t really have a clue what was going on

[Cheesenacho123]

I did have a debrief but it just didn’t help, there’s too many reasons to list why on here. The main one was it happened 4 months down the line when I was getting on with life. when really I needed to talk about it within the first month after giving birth.