Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AMA
Original poster

I'm very working class but I married an old Etonian... AMA

27 replies

PickledOnionPants · 20/07/2018 20:23

As the title says really - I spent my early relationship/married life worrying I was too common, but now I don't give a crap.

This might not be interesting at all, but I'm home alone tonight so AMA!

OP posts:
SnowOnTheSeine · 20/07/2018 20:25

How did you meet?
How is he with your family ?
How is his family with you ?
Does he want your children to go to Erin? Do you agree ?

SnowOnTheSeine · 20/07/2018 20:25

Eton obviously

ChaosTrulyReigns · 20/07/2018 20:28

Do you HKLP 😵😉

WhatCanIDoNowPlease · 20/07/2018 20:29

How are his school friends and their partners with you?

Olivebrach · 20/07/2018 20:33

Do you have the same politcal views?

MattLeBlancVest · 20/07/2018 20:34

When you reminisce about your childhoods is there much common ground?

Original poster
PickledOnionPants · 20/07/2018 20:38

How did you meet?
We met at uni. I did really bloody well to get there, considering my background, and he did perfectly averagely amongst his peers. Were drunk-snogging-mates at uni but got to know each other well the year after we both finished.

How is he with your family ?
Good, but we don't see them that often as a result of living at opposite ends of the country. He smokes with my mum and talks about music with my Dad - DH is classically trained and my Dad just loves the Clash but they find common ground.

How is his family with you ?
Again good - I was intimidated at first, but his Mum is from a poorer background and met DFIL whilst working in a law firm, and has had a similar experience to me. We get on and she was my life line as I was assimilated into the family. DFIL likes me because I remind him of a young DMIL, I think. Plus I adore their son, and they see that.

Does he want your children to go to Eton? Do you agree ?
He does, I do not. I'm stuck on this one - I disagree with elite education and am all for getting rid of charitable status etc., but I'm a hypocrite - because of course I'd want the best I can afford for my children. I really don't want them to board. We probably won't have to make this decision because there is no way we could afford Eton fees ourselves. We don't have children yet, and I suppose we'd find compromise if we received money for their education from the family. Day pupils at a school near home, maybe at a mid-tier public school. I can't imagine Eton will ever happen - some big discussions to be had before we do decide to ttc.

OP posts:
stopfuckingshoutingatme · 20/07/2018 20:39

My friend did the same and is very happy
I think these days the class divide is not as bad as say 20 years ago (jilly cooper era!)

But yeah is he pro boarding ?

Original poster
PickledOnionPants · 20/07/2018 20:39

Do you HKLP

I don't know what that means, I'm sorry!

OP posts:
Original poster
PickledOnionPants · 20/07/2018 20:41

How are his school friends and their partners with you?

A mixed bunch really. Some are dicks, some are nice. The dick ones have been phased out over the years though, so we only ever really see the nice ones now. Most of our mates are joint uni mates or family friends. Only 2 or 3 really good Eton friends have stood the test of time.

OP posts:
UNOwen · 20/07/2018 20:42

Are you Adele?

UNOwen · 20/07/2018 20:42

Sorry, page hadn't updated Blush

Original poster
PickledOnionPants · 20/07/2018 20:42

Do you have the same politcal views?

We're both Labour voters! He's not your typical Tory toff and actually feels really indebted and often guilty as a result of his education, rather than entitled. I wouldn't be with him if he wasn't tbh.

OP posts:
UNOwen · 20/07/2018 20:43

Is he a high flyer/leader type?

Original poster
PickledOnionPants · 20/07/2018 20:46

When you reminisce about your childhoods is there much common ground?

There is bugger all in common from our childhoods! He's all ski trips, au pairs and cello lessons, whereas I'm more turkey twizzlers. Honestly, he hasn't seen one kids TV show that I grew up watching - doesn't get any of my references, nor do I understand when he goes off on one about Sibelius. We start to have common ground at around 16 when alcopops and snogging became our interests.

OP posts:
Original poster
PickledOnionPants · 20/07/2018 20:47

But yeah is he pro boarding?

Yes he is, he thinks it was the making of him.

OP posts:
Slartybartfast · 20/07/2018 20:48

are you uncomfortable with his wider family,
are your family uncomfortable with him and his wider family?

are your traditions different.
child expectations different?

Original poster
PickledOnionPants · 20/07/2018 20:49

Is he a high flyer/leader type?

Not really. He never was at school either. He wasn't a prefect, wasn't on a sports team. Spent most of his time in Saturday detentions (they have a different name, I can't remember it) because he'd been caught doing something dickish.

He's good at what he does but he's not a leader in any way shape or form. I'm the ambitious one.

OP posts:
PickledOnionPants · 20/07/2018 20:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
PickledOnionPants · 20/07/2018 20:53

are you uncomfortable with his wider family,
I was at the beginning. Family parties had speeches and ballgowns. But actually, the more I got to know them the better it got. They're all just people who want the best for the people they love, and it's hard not to see that even through the ballgowns.

are your family uncomfortable with him and his wider family?
I think my Dad is but he'd never admit it. My Mum's not at all. My Mum is my idol - steely, 'this is what I am, take it or leave it' type. She's never been intimidated in her life.

are your traditions different.
Yeah they are, in all sorts of different ways.

child expectations different?
Not really actually. We'd both be content with a child that tried their best at school and had a hobby they loved, whatever their talents may turn out to be.

OP posts:
Original poster
PickledOnionPants · 20/07/2018 20:53

Sorry, double post!

OP posts:
Original poster
PickledOnionPants · 20/07/2018 20:58

Are you Adele?

I wish!

OP posts:
Agustarella · 20/07/2018 21:04

Bloody hell OP, how on earth did you manage that?!! The Old Etonians I was at college with looked at me like I was sh*t on their shoe; not just me, but all the state school kids and even the minor public school ones were socially untouchable to them. I knew precisely two people from normal backgrounds who infiltrated that clique: both boys, one at Magdalen and one at Christ Church. Amusing eccentrics both, adopted like exotic pets. Even the Etonians' F-buddies were of the same exalted class as them, for goodness' sake! Did you have to keep your relationship, such as it then was, secret at university?

Original poster
PickledOnionPants · 20/07/2018 21:11

Agustarella That's the experience I had too, until DH. He's the only one that would look twice at me. I don't know how I did it really - and that thought crippled me for ages. I was worried that I just wasn't good enough and that he deserved better.

He's so well brought up though. His Mum is incredible and has done such a good job of bringing up a grateful, thankful, humble man who just views people as people. As a result he struggled at school, wasn't well accepted by the other boys and always felt like a bit of an outcast, hence his poor behaviour and acting out. He's a scruffy bastard too, doesn't have that posh-boy air about him. You wouldn't know about his education by looking at him.

I'm a bit of a machine I think - I'm quick and I'm ballsy. I've been able to hold my own pretty damn well, but it's not always been easy.

OP posts:
Original poster
PickledOnionPants · 20/07/2018 21:12

Did you have to keep your relationship, such as it then was, secret at university?

Nah, it wasn't a secret. He was the only privately educated one in our friendship group.

OP posts: