Bank switched account to husbands name

Sorry this is so long - it's made me realise how cross I still feel about it.

This is a more recent thing and not to do with banks, but a similar infuriating sign of the bias towards men. My parents both died in the pandemic in 2020 and had those awful funerals where hardly anyone could attend. We didn't get round to arranging the plot, memorial stone or interment of ashes until 2021. As I was local, I did all the arranging of the plot - I liaised with my brother throughout about the kind of plot, the wording on the stones etc and we both visited at one point, but all the communication and payment went via me.

When we arrived on the day of the interment of the ashes the woman brought out a form and asked my brother (she had only met him once, with me, and had never corresponded with him) to sign the form. I asked where I should sign - and my signature wasn't required. I had done all the work but the man had to sign. The woman said I could add my signature at the bottom of the page if I wanted, but I declined. I didn't want to look like an afterthought after the "proper" signature.

My bro couldn't understand why I was so bothered and neither could my nephew or my uncle (or my sons disappointingly when I told them later). My nephew said maybe it was because my surname was different - but I pointed out that what if they had only had daughters who had changed their surname after marriage? My aunt and my nephew's wife looked a bit uncomfortable too, so I didn't say anything further at the time.

Anyway I went home and stewed - and remembered how annoyed my Mum had been about my Dad's name going on the bank account - and I emailed the crematorium and, well, complained. She phoned me the next day and apologised. She said it was part of their policy - I think because it was my brother who had initially contacted them about the cremation because I was ill (with Covid after trying to look after my parents) - the cremation, not the plot etc - but that she had raised a complaint because she could see it wasn't fair and that I was upset and that they were going to do it differently in future and make sure both or all would sign. Of course this was all in a phone call - nothing in writing - so I wouldn't mind betting they are still doing the same thing. After all, burying one's parents isn't something we do often is it?

It just added to a very upsetting time.

If I'd worked my arse off to get a doctorate, I'd be using it at every opportunity @GrumpyPanda !