It's more the architecture that programmers have to build on.

Complain away (you think I haven't for 40+ years ?).

Things are only going to get worse, as "AI" hoovers up all that legacy code and treats it like the word of God.

I think that must be breaking all sorts of regulations as the credit card agreement is with you.

I can't even get a copy of my mum's credit card statements under power of attorney, as they insist that statements can only be sent to the primary cardholder.

Recently on holiday and received an invitation to a wine tasting as Mr and Mrs Husband'sFirstName Surname.

I went to reception and told them it was the 21st century and I have a first name of my own and expect them to use it.

Today. My car, registered keeper, only driver, arranging service. All agreed with a service bot via email. Service department sent confirmation of date to husband when specifically told not to.

Infuriating, isn't it ?

Service department sent confirmation of date to husband when specifically told not to.

A breach of GDPR. Imagine if people took that seriously.

I've not experienced this recently and our council tax is actually in the name of Mrs Igel Kott and Mr Igel Kott which is quite amazing.

But I mentioned on another thread recently that I had the "we're only speaking to Mr because his name is first on the account" at NTL (which became Virgin Media) but I got around that by threatening to cancel the DD if they refused to speak to me.

Although 02 decided that I was Mr rather than Mrs, even though my first name is very female and isn't unisex...

😱

Back in the heady days of the 90s, when banks and building societies handed out bonuses and share certificates like confetti, they always went to the first named person on the account, who was always ... (Guess).

DH and I treat all assets as shared, so him getting all the shares was OK, but I'm sure there were thousands of couples where the men pocketed the shares for themselves. It can make a real difference, not just symbolic.

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius Hey, no issue with your being happy with it - I'd assume that anyway, you're presumably not using it coz you're unhappy with it!

What I do find odd in contrast is the "proud" lingo that implies some kind of achievement. Proud of what? Having bagged a husband? Is there some kind of superiority inherent in that?

That's when I tell them "if using Ms is too hard for you feel free to use Dr". All those years labouring for an earned doctorate have to be good for something 🤣🤣🤣

French banks are just as bad. I opened a French bank account only for it to be Madame surname DH first name. I complained but they just shrugged their shoulders.

OMG are they STILL doing this? I remember my mother complaining about the same thing in the 80s. They had shared finances, but she inherited her father's house, couldn't sell it so rented it out, and she opened a (I think it was Halifax) account in her name for the rent to go into. Eventually my Dad asked if it could be joint as he had contributed to repairs and furnishings and buying my uncle's share of the property, so she made it a joint account - and yes they put his name first and sent all the correspondence to him.

When she phoned to complain and ask why they had done this, they said it was a matter of courtesy - courtesy to whom ffs? She said it didn't feel very courteous to her, but they wouldn't change it. It seems that forty years on and we are still having the same problems and the banks are still in the dark ages.

OMG this makes my blood boil! So men deserve courtesy but women don't! Because it would be just too terrible and disrespectful to a man to have his name after a woman's, she being the inferior human and all.

Barclays did it to me - after a round of complaints (they tried the alphabetical thing on me - which is ridiculous as both my names came before his in the alphabet), I got an apology and 60 quid. Although I doubt anything changed for anyone else long term

Oh I've just remembered something else. When we bought our current house we had to get a bridging loan which the mortgage broker arranged for us. When it came through it had my name first (which delighted me as a rare occurrence). However the broker (male) seemed a bit embarrassed and actually apologised to my husband, hurriedly explaining this was because I was the main earner and therefore the lenders first port of call.

An actual apology for coming second! But it's supposed to be good enough for women 99% of the time. Pah.

Try Scottish power put a random man's name on my account one day and refused to remove it said he needed to contact them to remove it but he is a random name and I dont know who he is to call you well thats the only way we will remove it if he asks

So your telling me someone can just take over my gas account and I the only account holder have zero say? Basically yes...ok so I dont need to pay my bill then right? Because its not in my name? Well its at your address and and it was in your name and erm....why dont we just change that for you

Fucks sake 🙄

Thankfully my bank didn’t pull this trick and I’ve booked many holidays and I always remained as lead passenger with the likes of TUI, airlines etc, utility companies have never switched it but I did book a cruise who switched the names around, they got a formal complaint from me, I got a swift apologetic reply and it didn’t happen when i booked again, also Tesco clubCard apologised when they couldn’t take exh off my account! Now sorted but was a computer issue.

Oh yes! I had a major back and forth and got nowhere with Aer Lingus (or possibly BA), who, on a code share flight put my son as the lead passenger (he'd just hit the age where I had to buy him an adult ticket - so we looked like 2 adults and a child).

I could check in our luggage at the machine on my passport, and was getting very frustrated until I had the sudden thought and tried his, which worked. Aer Lingus flat refused to take any responsibility - even for the fact that as they were checked in under his name, he was the one who technically had to click to say he'd packed the bag/take responsibility for what's in it, even though as a 15 year old he obviously couldn't

Threaten them with the Financial Ombudsman if you dont get a sensible response to your complaint.

I’m Dr. When divorcing my husband redirected all the mail. They redirected all mine to him no matter how many times I complained to Royal Mail. They could only think of a dr as being a man. The breach of gdpr is breathtaking on that one and it significantly impacted my life him receiving all my personal financial information.

Same with the Clubcard. Added DH to the account (same as I did with Nectar), and they changed him to the main account name! Nectar didn't; I remained the main account holder.

DH and I were sorting out travel insurance and they apparently couldn't put us on a family policy because I didn't change my name when we married. I don't know why I was surprised, I had thought by this day and age we might be past all that.

Back in those days, the "primary" contact entry was hardcoded to be male at every turn.

How does this work if the joint account holders are both women?

That's because it was baked into law until 1995

https://researchbriefings.files.parliament.uk/documents/RP95-53/RP95-53.pdf

It doesn't.

E2A: You can wrap a lot of code around the underlying structure to give the illusion of parity. And live with the oddities that will produce

I said Ms once and got 'Oh are you divorced?'. I was about 26, is it very likely?

I am firmly of the opinion that all adult women should be Ms by default.