Be Kind 2.0 and the "Persuasive TRA"

I'm glad it's not just me Op, I've noticed a change of tone, not from all of them, but quite a few doing the couldn't we get along, can't you see if you just accepted us as your fellow women it would all be fine. They know the tides running against them now, they think we're so stupid we'll forget the threads of violence and take pity on them.

I would encourage everyone to reflect back to male TRA allies that they should be starting 'You can pee next to me' campaigns and arrange to accompany their men who say they are women friends into the male toilets for safety.

Maybe they can make their own badges and hand them out at work?

I'm a massive cynic, and I suspect part of the reason for the recent change of tactic from aggressive to persuasive is that Andy Burnham wants to be PM.

If I’m called Sam or Chris I guess I don’t have a sex?

Well quite - the Supreme Court concluded from case law that “living as a woman” had come to be - having a utility bill stating a name typically associated with the target sex for at least 2 years.

I mean - I know I meet that criteria - but theres a bit more to being an actual woman than that?!

Maybe it’s the GRA that needs revising (or repealing) because it’s not possible for men to actually “live as” women. They are men.

Well done for paying attention - he's a trans guy.

Women have single-sex faclities containing cubicles. Completely public ones, which have always been deeply unsafe because of their remoteness.

And now, they'll have Toilet Police and far more gender-neutral cubicles.

Your belief that I somehow made my child trans is just ignorance. And a frankly rubbish defence to my explanation of how anti-trans activism has affected him.

Without that activism, his life would have been so much better.

Why do you think there's been so much opposition to the terf movement? The crowds at trans Pride events are mainly cis people, reacting with horror to how much violence and harassment their trans relatives, friends and colleagues have experienced.

No, it's yours to enable. That's my point.

We have no safe spaces. Protesting trans people using locked cubicles alongside us, in fully public spaces, is not virtuous, or saving anyone.

All the terf movement has accomplished is a massive increase in anti-trans violence. But then, it was meant to.

(Oh wait, I forgot! It also stopped a few trans women chatting to their mates while making sandwiches in the WI. Upsetting thousands of women in the process. What an amazing victory that was.)

It makes me so angry how one sided this is. "We would rather knowingly continue to disrespect and distress women, and knowingly dismiss, delegimitise and override women's voices, than risk standing up to TRA demands then finding out we could have avoided it."

It's like all the aghast shock when FWS celebrated a SC win, as if had the verdict gone the other way TRAs would not have had a 5 day pink and blue Fuck You fest.

https://x.com/JennyAscendant/status/2062610227724198268?s=20

‘We’ll compromise on some single sex spaces but are prepared to present all kinds of legal shenanigans to keep using women’s toilets’
That’s the bottom line here I feel.

I think it doesn't matter.

What happened to the child is awful either way.

Schools, parents and society need to be brave and tackle the increase in pornified misogyny that is flooding popular culture.

Supporting the sexist fantasy that some people are in an intangible way "really" the opposite sex and if the rest of the world would only play along with that everything would be ok is doing some very vulnerable people a terrible terrible wrong, and that is true whatever sex they are.

As I've said, I'm the mum of someone who's trans. He was subjected to so much transphobic violence at school (most of it sexual) that he became suicidal, harmed himself and had to take many weeks off, severely affecting his exams. He was exhausted from hypervigilance and I consider it a small miracle he's alive.

He's been threatened, stalked, filmed and assaulted. All because trans people are considered fair game - cis boys would tell him that sexually touching him "doesn't count".

Dehumanisation and sexualisation of minorities causes real-world harm. It is ruining the lives of trans children and young trans people - many of whom are afraid to leave the house, have failed exams they were supposed to pass with flying colours, and face homelessness because of family rejection.

None of that helps cis women - but it is the sole tangible result of anti-trans activism.

There is no organised invasion of women's spaces. Trans women have been quietly using the Ladies toilet forever. But now, most young trans people cannot use any toilet when they go out. Their lives have been made even more intolerably difficult, and a bigger target drawn on their backs.

We are living in a terrible age for all women. Our services have been destroyed, there is no rape justice and we have no safe spaces. We aren't even safe at home, with drug-assisted partner rape likely affecting thousands of women on top of the more visible evil of DV.

Going after trans people is, I get it, much more fun than confronting the evil done by cis men. Not least because those men are eager to join in.

If something feels like a game - where you have agency, weapons and lawfare to help you - then it's not real activism against abuse.

Trans people aren't organising against women - but violent cis men are. And they love that they get to call themselves feminists and join in with the scapegoating.

You're fighting ghosts. Excluding a minority from public places does not solve rape, and it isn't child safeguarding. It's just bigotry.

And it's doing real harm. My son's scars are on his arms, not his chest. At least the exterior ones will heal.

He managed to survive school and is rebuilding his life. But he shouldn't have had to go through that. He shouldn't have had to listen to girls tell him he was scum for being trans, or have boys corner him demanding anal sex.

I am asking you: please read the words of trans children. Open season has been declared on them. They are sexualised, beaten and harassed every day in school - for a change of name and haircut. The vast, vast majority of them will never have any gender-affirming care - and most don't have a single adult at home who approves of them, or will protect them.

Being addicted to hate feels powerful, I get that. It's an antidote to the fear cis men force us to live with, all our lives. But anti-trans activism is solving nothing.

I found your words terrifying, because of how dehumanising they were. It is hard to credit how paranoid and aggressive your mindset appeared to be.

Conspiratorial thinking, and eagerness to collectively blame, were the reason for yesterday's riots - none of it was about the poor man who died, it just added to the pain of his parents.

Your post reminded me of them.

From the charity sector (thanks to @IWantToRetire and contributors on the other thread)

https://www.thirdsector.co.uk/debra-allcock-tyler-charities-not-allow-fear-become-chief-decision-maker/governance/article/1960836

You are unlikely to face serious consequences for carefully considering evidence, taking legal advice and reaching a reasoned conclusion, even if that takes time. You are far more likely to face criticism for making a hasty decision that later proves to be flawed.

Delay changes, obfuscate, plead confusion, argue that it's too difficult, delay, delay, delay... This is one message coming from the charitable sector. (Must have been speaking to Bridget!)

Some activists seemingly digging in for the long haul.