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Original poster

Gender neutral names

238 replies

dustysidetable · 19/10/2026 18:45

My husband is insistent on a gender neutral name for our twins, I’m happy with it in principle and there’s so many gender neutral boys names I love but I’m really struggling for girls!. The only one I like is Shelby but he doesn’t like it at all. My favourite girls name is Sylvia but obviously that isn’t gender neutral, I like soft sounding names and not a fan of the nick names like Stevie, Bobby, Riley etc. Any ideas?

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Droppedbrooch · 20/10/2026 18:03

What is the fascination with them having to be gender neutral? It’s just limiting your options and making it more difficult for you to choose. Sounds like your husband is calling the shots with this a bit too much here.

I think some gender neutral names still swing more one way and that’s something you’d have to be careful of. For example, I went to school with a boy called Lindsay and he got bullied relentlessly.

DeedsNotDiddums · 20/10/2026 18:19

DisplayPurposesOnly · 19/10/2026 19:25

I like Christian for a girl, very 17th/18th century.

A modern Christian: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_Lamb

An even more modern Christian, Christian Serratos (Walking Dead/ Twilight actress)
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_Serratos

oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriends · 20/10/2026 18:23

NOT Quinn - too like Quim !!!

godmum56 · 20/10/2026 18:31

Does your husband say why he requires a gender neutral name?

WhitePudding · 20/10/2026 18:32

Blair

Fiddy1964 · 20/10/2026 18:34

I like the name Raven for either boy or girl.

FlayOtters · 20/10/2026 18:35

I really like Callie for a boy or girl (but it is shortened for both which you said you dont like)

ChubbyCheeksCharlie · 20/10/2026 18:35

Rowan
Kimberley
Alex
Kit
ETA Pip!
You could always go for Tommy and Shelby..?

TeethAreImportant · 20/10/2026 19:01

EmeraldSlippers · 19/10/2026 18:57

Probably not what you're looking for because it's not a fashionable name at the moment, but I recently read the book Shirley by Charlotte Bronte and found out that Shirley used to be a boy's name. (Well really a surname that was sometimes used for boys). The female character called Shirley in the book had parents who wanted a boy, so gave her a boy's name.
The book was so popular that it inspired lots of female babies to be called Shirley, and ever since it's been known as a girl's name.

Wasn't it John Wayne's real name?

TFImBackIn · 20/10/2026 19:06

Do you know the sex of the babies yet? Why don't you each choose a name? TBH after going through a twin pregnancy and birth I would be annoyed if my husband was riding roughshod over my choice of a girl's name.

Chilly80 · 20/10/2026 19:08

Someone may have already said this but what about Elliot

LAMPS1 · 20/10/2026 19:12

Leni. short for Leonard and Eleanor

Original poster
dustysidetable · 20/10/2026 19:25

Chilly80 · 20/10/2026 19:08

Someone may have already said this but what about Elliot

I do like Elliot but DH thinks it’s too much of a boys name. I’m really liking Ellery at the minute, and then she could always go by Elle if she wants a girls name.

Both middle names will be traditional male and female names too, so there’s always that option.

OP posts:
Nannamads · 20/10/2026 19:26

This is the problem with " family traditions". Generations are forced into doing things they don't wan't too. I hope you manage to choose names you both like.
The thing is sometime you can choose names and then when they arrive, you realise it doesn't suit them and there doesn't seem to be any logic to it.

Italiangreyhound · 20/10/2026 19:37

You are carrying your babies, you will give birth to them. Please do not let their father dictate the names.

Only go with names you both like.

Personally, I find gender neutral names a bit of a pain and I think people who have them might feel the same when people first meet them, for example over email. They sometimes introduce themselves as Samantha or Christopher even if they go by Sam or Chris generally.

Italiangreyhound · 20/10/2026 19:45

Oh I do love Cassidy. That is beautiful. Shortened to Cass or Cassie. But i am nit sure it is unisex.

Re "he’d be more than happy with girls but as it’s a way of honouring his family he would like gender neutral names. Insisting was maybe too harsh of a word, but as they’re his children too..."

So are all the people in his family people with gender neutral names? I am sorry to sound sceptical but I doubt it.

WhatMummyMakesSheEats · 20/10/2026 19:50

My fave ‘neutral’ name for a girl has always been Dylan. I prefer it on girls than boys.

Original poster
dustysidetable · 20/10/2026 19:51

Italiangreyhound · 20/10/2026 19:45

Oh I do love Cassidy. That is beautiful. Shortened to Cass or Cassie. But i am nit sure it is unisex.

Re "he’d be more than happy with girls but as it’s a way of honouring his family he would like gender neutral names. Insisting was maybe too harsh of a word, but as they’re his children too..."

So are all the people in his family people with gender neutral names? I am sorry to sound sceptical but I doubt it.

Not all the people but one side of his family yes, think Alex, Ashley etc

OP posts:
NotaSkivvy · 20/10/2026 19:57

TeethAreImportant · 20/10/2026 19:01

Wasn't it John Wayne's real name?

Show quote history

John Wayne was called Marion, Big Daddy was called Shirley

cheapskatemum · 20/10/2026 20:00

Denim4ever · 19/10/2026 21:19

Lonnie - like Lonnie Donogan the 60s singer? Or is it some horrendous shortening. Horrid, esp as a shortening for Leonie, see also Lainey, Laine for Elaine.

I have always wondered if it’s a shortening of Thelonius.

cheapskatemum · 20/10/2026 20:00

My favourite gender neutral name is Kim.

Frillysweetpea · 20/10/2026 20:10

Try Lindsay, Vivian and Hilary. They have all been used historically for boys. Tbh, I think your husband is being a pillock.

TeethAreImportant · 20/10/2026 20:13

NotaSkivvy · 20/10/2026 19:57

John Wayne was called Marion, Big Daddy was called Shirley

Show quote history

Of course!

PUGMEISTER21 · 20/10/2026 20:13

EmeraldSlippers · 19/10/2026 18:57

Probably not what you're looking for because it's not a fashionable name at the moment, but I recently read the book Shirley by Charlotte Bronte and found out that Shirley used to be a boy's name. (Well really a surname that was sometimes used for boys). The female character called Shirley in the book had parents who wanted a boy, so gave her a boy's name.
The book was so popular that it inspired lots of female babies to be called Shirley, and ever since it's been known as a girl's name.

The 1980's British Wrestler, Big Daddy's nMe was Shirly Crabtree

PUGMEISTER21 · 20/10/2026 20:16

oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriends · 20/10/2026 18:23

NOT Quinn - too like Quim !!!

Not Fanny either then or Dick

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