To think that the problem is not that there aren’t enough good men about

None of this has to make sense, it’s just what I like in a man. I have small breasts so I’m sure there are men who wouldn’t date me because of that. It might be shallow but you can’t help what you find attractive in someone.

My DD is gay and has been treated really badly by some women I have to say!

The male population isn't divided into two camps good-looking alpha wrong uns who make your life a misery, and short, plain poorly dressed guys who'd be excellent husband material. The whole concept is reductive and smacks of Incel lore to me.
You get decent men who are easy on the eye and horrible men who are very plain, and everything in between.
Most women go for men they find physically attractive who they believe to be decent and share their values. Unfortunately in some cases, they are proved wrong, or the man changes along the way.

I know what you mean. I'm older now, but when I was young a lot of my female friends dumped men for all kinds of (what I considered to be) shallow reasons, such as, too much body hair, too little body hair, bad haircut, wrong kind of shoes, insufficiently large biceps, wrong kind of car - these are all real and there were many more. I was always saying, "but what is he like as a person???" But I was whistling in the wind! Several of those friends are still single or have been in and out of relationships with bad 'uns. I think, while physical attraction is important, it's not the most or only important thing when it comes to a long term relationship. Shared values, mutual respect, making each other laugh, kindness and patience are all much longer lasting than the 'right' haircut.

“Most women go for men they find physically attractive who they believe to be decent and share their values.”

I agree.

Yeah the height thing is funny. 5’3 women insisting he has to be over 6 foot. Thats fine - personal choice - but they tend to be single, or with men that are tall but very unattractive overall

What's your own physicality got to do with your preferred physical traits in a partner?
Do you think it odd when larger men prefer petite women, or skinny men like curvy women?

I just think it’s hypocritical because they’re short themselves and will probably have shorter sons but insist on a man twice their height.

Its like very overweight men insisting on a woman with a hot bod.

It’s personal preference. I like a man to have longer legs than me. I’m not attracted to shorter men.

Yeah I didn’t say it should be illegal, just that I find it funny

I have to be physically attracted to a man to be intimate with him. It’s about his body and his mind!

I get what you say to an extent, but the reality is you get a lot of beautiful or at least fairly pretty women with plain or unattractive low or average earning men and they still get screwed over. Look at all the stories you read on here for a start!
I can’t imagine all these shitty men people write about on MN are handsome and rich. A lot of them barely seem employed.

It may not always be super obvious how bad these men are - maybe he doesn't cheat or beat them, but he does gradually go from 50/50 on housework to leaving 80% to her. Or he counts looking after his kids as babysitting. Or he can NEVER remember to get her a birthday present or do any of the mental load while expecting her to remember to get his relatives presents on their behalf. He will weaponise incompetence to get out of doing the laundry etc

I agree they are often with tall men who are not so attractive in the face 😂 that’s a good point. As a short-ish girl I don’t get the obsession with taller men myself, but men often will discriminate against women more heavily based on facial looks and body than the opposite way around IMO! And what annoys me is you rarely hear anyone tell men not to be “superficial” or “look beyond her unattractiveness”

I am actually very personality focused and fell for this guy briefly who was my height (5ft 3) and had bigger thighs and boobs than me - for context i am a 32G just a size 10 but with shapely thighs .

But what ticked me off was his string of comments about women’s appearance and then his digs aimed at me about not having a “perfectly proportioned body” ( I have a bit of a stomach and waist could be smaller but still way slimmer than him!) ultimately it was his behaviour that turned me off and not his looks. He put on a nice guy act initially but then one weekend at his all his nastier comments came out. I never saw him again once the mask came off.

But I found it interesting that the most conventionally unattractive guy I dated was one of the most misogynistic. I think a lot of women feel most men turn out to be pretty shit so you may as well date one that’s nice to look at 🤷🏻‍♀️

I don't think its hypocrisy because being short in a woman isn't seen as a negative, as in 'I can't get past your shortness, but you should get past mine', because her height isn't seen as less desirable.
As a 5' 4" woman I've been told I don't 'need' a tall partner because even short men are taller than me. So basically provided I'm an appropriate number of inches shorter than him, that's apparently all that matters, regardless of my preferences.

is it any more illogical than not being attracted to someone because of their height or weight or nose size, all of which people generally seem to accept are allowable things to prefer in a partner?

At least you have control over whether you take a bath or not, if the girl of your dreams told you that was a deal breaker, whereas you can't grow 5 inches if she told you she doesn't date men under 6 foot.