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Original poster

Parents faking poverty and not buying dc gifts

332 replies

FakeFinances · 08/11/2026 08:17

for some reason approx 6 years ago my parents decided to stop all gifts for birthday Easter and Christmas. They said they just didn’t have the money to do them for the GC. Fine.

Excpet it’s 1. Not true that they can’t afford it and 2. They still buy gifts etc for both my sisters dc???

Everytime I go to see them they openly show me expensive new things, tell me about the cruises and holidays booked and talk finances (positively) then in the same visit they’ll say they have no money so sorry there’s no cake to have with coffee and reiterate that’s why they don’t do gifts anymore???

I have found out that they have still given gifts to all their other GC (I have 2 sisters) and I’m shocked ? When I asked them about it all they said they would not be speaking to me anymore as I was ‘money grabbing’ ? They haven’t spoken to me for 3 months now.

We hadn’t fallen out prior to this I genuinely believed when they first started this that they had just decided no more gifts ? I have 2 dc, my sisters have 6 between them.

OP posts:
OneandFiveOnly · Today 14:21

Just bin them off. You don’t want their shit rubbing off on your children.

They have favourites - you held the mirror up to them and they dot like the ugly reflection so they’ve made you the problem. Were you always the scapegoat?

They’re vile and toxic. You and your children deserve a life without them in it

Allseeingallknowing · Today 14:22

Tessasanderson · Today 13:17

I can relate to this situation. I lived it.

Me and my two brothers. All with children. All with houses. All working full time.

Only my children never got presents. I mean sometimes not even a birthday card. The odd card with a £10 in. Cancelled visits (250mls away) at last minute. Zero help throughout the years.

Brothers children all got big presents. We once went around to a brothers house and my children were astonished by the presents from the GP's. It didnt stop there. Car as a gift. Motorbike for the other. Help with house improvements like windows & doors.

Both since passed away and i got 1/3rd inheritance but i always had a feeling they were going to do something un fair with that. I just wish they had made everything fair while they were here.

How mean, I’d be very bitter about that!

DuchessofWinchester · Today 14:41

Pretty simple, you've said or done something to upset them.

trapdooragain · Today 16:16

DuchessofWinchester · Today 14:41

Pretty simple, you've said or done something to upset them.

And they took it out on her children instead of addressing it like an adult would

Bikenutz · Today 17:00

ThisLivelyRaven · 08/11/2026 13:53

Something poignant happened 6 years ago, something you’ve done, something someone has said (true or false) to make them think you’re a money grabber! You need to ask them outright what it is? If you don’t get a clear fair answer, then think it’s time to cut the cords and walk away

Edited

This…

Tulipsriver · Today 17:08

Honestly, I'd rather have no relationship with my parents than see them treating my children so differently to their cousins. Have your children noticed yet?

If you wanted to, you could write them a letter explaining that you don't care whether they buy your children presents, but don't want a relationship unless they commit to treating all their grandchildren equally. Or just leave them to it.

MyLittleNest · Today 17:22

This is very sad. Whatever their issue is with you (and it seems that there is definitely something), I don't understand how a grandparent could relentlessly favor some grandchildren over others. They must be heartless to stubbornly stick to this!

Clearly, money is not an issue, so making comments about not having the means to buy cake to go with tea is just pathetic. Giving an invoice for a day out with their grandchildren is shockingly petty.

As you can't seem to draw attention to their hypocrisy without them making it all about money, I think you need to tell them that they are hurting your children's feelings. It's really incredibly sad that your parents would choose to punish their grandchildren by proxy when they are clearly upset with you!

I would protect my children from them at this point.

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