Inheritance

The latter is not that straightforward if they have moved into your home and subsequently their care needs change - you cannot make them move to a care home or nursing home against their consent so you become their default carer/provider, even if you arrange for external carers to attend, as you obvious can’t just ignore or not consider them.

Even though this might seem fair to not receive anything, it often happens that money is split equally. I would like to think in my family if this situation had ever arisen the person who was absent would decline the money. Realistically in most families this wouldn't happen.

It's interesting that people consider it entirely acceptable that state provided care comes at a cost (and it's an incredibly high cost, for what is largely impersonal care) but family provided care should come at no cost. And it's generally always people who don't provide any care, or have no intention of providing any care, who hold that viewpoint...

With an ageing population, attitudes to unpaid carers really does need to change. The attitude that someone else, a sibling for example, should provide all of your parents' care entirely out of the goodness of their heart is actually, in my opinion, an incredibly selfish attitude. Being a primary care giver for an elderly dependent is a bloody hard road to hoe! It's not just about practical expenses either, the cost to your own mental/emotional wellbeing can be huge. Some people spend decades providing acute care and support for their parents.

I sense a shift in both government and local authority thinking on this. Of course it suits the powers that be to have family provide all care, because it means no cost to the public purse. Unpaid carers however are finding their voices, and seeking the recognition they bloody deserve.

It always surprises me how acceptable it seems to be to just forget about elderly parents entirely. Noone is saying that you need to see your parents every day, but maintaining contact with them in a way that you would with anyone you loved and shared a meaningful relationship with is not an unreasonable expectation in my view.

I agree noone should expect inheritance. I also think it's very out of order to cut someone off for minor things. BUT if an adult doesn't bother at all with their parents in their later years then I don't think it's unfair for the parents to reflect that there is no relationship there in their will.