Inheritance

That’s not quite true, if you are married and die your children are able to claim towards a third of the parents estate but if you aren’t married they can claim against a half of the parents estate

my mum has not long written her will and wants to leave my brother as little as possible as he is an addict and this is what she was told. Since there are 2 siblings he is entitled to 25% of our mums movable estate eg bank accounts.

No one should expect an inheritance, no one should be obliged to care for a person for an inheritance.

I guess it depends on the person who has passed and what they have in their will, it’s really nothing to do with the other family members

A relative through marriage complained to me when his MIL's partner died. Understandably, to my mind, the partner had left everything to the MIL. (He had no children of his own and had got together with the MIL in middle age.)

The relative was upset that nothing had been left to his daughter, on the grounds that the daughter (no more than 7 yrs old at the time) had called the partner 'Grandad'. In his mind, the use of the title meant that the daughter was owed an inheritance: it wasn't enough that her inheritance would eventually reach her via her grandmother and her parent.

I admit to being taken aback - apart from anything else, the will was probably written before the grandchild was born.

The irony is that when the relative died, it turned out that he had not got round to writing his own will.

Nobody should “expect” inheritance regardless of their decisions and actions. Personally, if I have anything left, it be equally split between my children. That will be not be dependent on whether they do things that benefit me. It’s not a transaction, it’s a gift.

I had kids to gift them life, not caring obligations.

This isn’t correct. Children have a legal right to share one third of the moveable estate if there is a surviving spouse and one half if there isn’t but the heritable estate and the other half/two thirds of the moveables would be distributed in terms of the will. Eg, if a widow with three children left an estate comprising a house worth £1m and savings of £30,000 to a third party, the most each child could claim under their legal rights would be £5,000.

Were all children treated equally? No golden children or scapegoats? Sometimes the scapegoat is intentionally pushed away.

Inheritance isn’t earnt. So YABU.
I would rather buy in care and let my adult children live their own lives.
SIL did far more for PIL as they aged than DH. But then she had free childcare on tap from them for 18 years and all her wedding paid for while he got zero.

Yes

I provide care for my elderly dad on a daily basis. I don't think anyone should expect an inheritance.

My dsis does very little by comparison. If my dad's estate is not eaten up in care costs by the time he goes, then I fully expect and hope that he would treat us equally in his will. Better still, I hope that he can enjoy as much of his money as possible while he is still alive.

I do not care for him with the expectation of getting anything in return. Love is not transactional.

I don’t think anyone should expect it but when I die I’ll try to help everyone no matter what, even the people I don’t feel have been there, because life sometimes gets in the way of people being able to be there for people

My Great grandparents divided their estates as per the OP. The effects are still being elder in the family more than 60 years later. It’s not a good thing.

Me too.

FWIW I was NC with my father for 25 years before he died. He split the will equally between his (legitimate) children. I offered to give my share to my siblings but they refused. There was no ill feelings and we all understood the position we took in our relationship with him.

Sound legal advice is essential. As joint executor and beneficiary (with brother) of late Mother's estate, everything was clear cut. However, solicitor did ask if there was anyone who would likely contest her will. At end of the day, unless someone can provide undue pressure or not of sound mind, there's very little that can be done to alter parent's wills.

Yanbu In those circumstances. I guess you might have to prepare for him to contest the will so make sure your solicitor has it all sorted for you so it’s very clear what your wishes are.

How horrible for you. That's one of the few cases I think it's understandable that one wouldn't inherit.

However, in general, unequal gifting in normal circumstances could be a horrible thing too. Show one child you care about them less? Disinherit one so you can give them one last kick after you're gone? It would take extreme circumstances for me to even think about it.

Strictly speaking, in Scotland the executor is supposed to ask the children whether they wish to claim their legal rights. (Many choose to forego them in favour of the surviving spouse.)

Not quite.

The children only get a share of one third of the moveable estate if the deceased is married (unless the will states otherwise).

https://www.harpermacleod.co.uk/insights/legal-rights-in-scotland-what-are-they/

We have two DC, both now adults. My DH went down with dementia in 2022 and is now quite severely impacted. One has been mega helpful and has really been there for his dad and for me. The other got DH to sign a fraudulent power of attorney to try and get hold of cash (we have reasonably substantial assets). We took legal action to remove it. He them made a false safeguarding complaint to Social Services, which along with the dementia really added to a very stressful four years. To protect DH I have left everything to the one son I trust. I cannot now think of circumstances where I will change that arrangement. Even given everything that has happened, I did try and meet to sort things out. There was no response. After all there is no no short term financial advantage to be gained.

I know from my contact with many other dementia impacted families that I am far from being alone in this experience. Wherever there is money at stake there is a risk that there will be trouble.

I am sure though that he would still expect to get money from our estate. He is unfortunately that entitled.

Well, OP, you clearly have an axe to grind…

@OrchardOwl what’s happened to comprehension!

Nah I’m talking about disposable assets clearly. There’s always one 💀

Where do you think people should live after they dispose of their homes to help their struggling children?

It's up to the parents in question. Obviously. Why do you think you have a say over what they do with their money? My children will inherit my assets when I die - regardless of whether they did any caring duties. I wouldn't wish being a carer for an elderly parent on them and will do everything in my power to ensure it doesn't happen.