Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Update to AIBU to refuse Aunt's fwb claim on her estate.

838 replies

Sleepneededprettyplease · 07/04/2026 17:52

Posting here because it is where I put the first thread.

A brief summery is that my Aunt died and her FWB is trying to say that he is entitled to part of her estate because she had asked me to allow him to stay in a house she had invested in for me. Anyway if you want the full story feel free to read what I put on the first thread.

Anyway the main thing is that he is now sueing in the courts. I need a bit of a hand hold please. My lawyers have suggested getting a barristers opinion so I am just waiting for that. I wouldn't even mind if it was possible to just go to mediation but he wants the house for the rest of his life and won't consider anything else.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5505433-aibu-to-refuse-aunts-fwb-claim-on-her-estate?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

OP posts:
Original poster
Sleepneededprettyplease · 06/11/2026 20:02

AcrossthePond55 · 06/11/2026 17:58

@Sleepneededprettyplease

So basically he has a 'life estate'? Was this a final judgement you'd have to appeal or an interim order that you are choosing not to pursue? Any way, it sucks. The only thing I might try to do is see if something can be added that would prevent him from moving someone else in, either as a partner or in 'subletting' (ie renting rooms).

My aunt's prenup included that as part of the 'life estate clause' when she married her 2nd husband. Remarriage or moving a partner in 'broke' the life estate and he would have had to move out within 90 days.

In other matters, I'm so so happy for you! Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Edited

I can't stop him moving someone in whilst he is alive but they cannot take over the tenancy.

OP posts:
AutumnOakTree · 06/11/2026 20:02

Sounds like a resolution of some sorts, and congratulations, on both counts.

Original poster
Sleepneededprettyplease · 06/11/2026 20:09

SheilaFentiman · 06/11/2026 18:37

The court has directed that that estate needs to
sipport this man and this house is a part of the estate because it was (probably) seen as a gift with reservation since the aunt continued to benefit from it.

So if OP declined to be his landlord, the estate would have to support him in some other way which would probably be even more costly,

Show quote history

Yes. It would also mean the full court hearing that basically I can't afford.

OP posts:
AlleycatMarie · 06/11/2026 21:25

Congratulations on the pregnancy 😍

Whyherewego · 06/11/2026 21:30

So happy to hear about the pg. Hope everything goes well ans hope this chap leaves your house or this planet soon

SplishSplash123 · 06/11/2026 22:33

Sleepneededprettyplease · 06/11/2026 17:26

Well if I can slide it through then I have a get out clause when he is too stressful.

Show quote history

Would the next buyer also be bound by all the same rules of the lease? Just wondering whether you could manufacture a sale to someone else in the family...?

SplishSplash123 · 06/11/2026 22:37

Huge congratulations on the pregnancy. I hope you can get the legals sorted ASAP, that the housing benefit is a little help towards the legal costs incurred to date and most importantly that you can concentrate on enjoying your pregnancy! As for the utter disgustingness of that man, I don't really want to put in writing what I hope for him...but please let's hope he is soon a non-issue for you.

Original poster
Sleepneededprettyplease · 06/11/2026 22:37

SplishSplash123 · 06/11/2026 22:33

Would the next buyer also be bound by all the same rules of the lease? Just wondering whether you could manufacture a sale to someone else in the family...?

Show quote history

The buyer would be bound by the lease unfortunately. It means that I will try not to do this as it would probably massively reduce the value. However, it feels good to know if he is being too stressful then I do have a get out.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sleepneededprettyplease · 06/11/2026 22:38

SplishSplash123 · 06/11/2026 22:37

Huge congratulations on the pregnancy. I hope you can get the legals sorted ASAP, that the housing benefit is a little help towards the legal costs incurred to date and most importantly that you can concentrate on enjoying your pregnancy! As for the utter disgustingness of that man, I don't really want to put in writing what I hope for him...but please let's hope he is soon a non-issue for you.

Thank you. Yes I must admit that I wouldn't be able to honestly wish him extended good health.

OP posts:
Daftapath · 06/11/2026 23:10

So happy to hear your news about your pregnancy. May the issues with your ‘tenant’ be short lived now.

I can’t believe what the courts have agreed to!

Mygreyhair · 06/11/2026 23:15

Absolutely fabulous news about your pregnancy!

Gengha · 06/11/2026 23:27

Congratulations on your pregnancy OP

Still praying for the old fucker to die soon

Original poster
Sleepneededprettyplease · 07/11/2026 05:00

Gengha · 06/11/2026 23:27

Congratulations on your pregnancy OP

Still praying for the old fucker to die soon

Me too.

OP posts:
namechange62 · 07/11/2026 05:58

I've followed you from the start and have been open mouthed about what has been allowed to happen. I'm very sorry..

BUT!!!! Huge congratulations on your pregnancy. I'm over the moon for you. a stranger on the internet is wishing you a happy healthy pregnancy and future.

Original poster
Sleepneededprettyplease · 07/11/2026 08:11

namechange62 · 07/11/2026 05:58

I've followed you from the start and have been open mouthed about what has been allowed to happen. I'm very sorry..

BUT!!!! Huge congratulations on your pregnancy. I'm over the moon for you. a stranger on the internet is wishing you a happy healthy pregnancy and future.

Thank you. I may not know the people on this thread but between you it has helped enormously.

This has been a massively stressful time and feeling that I had support and people in my corner really has helped carry me through.

OP posts:
WhatWouldRoyKentSay · Yesterday 00:08

Congratulations on your pregnancy @Sleepneededprettyplease!!

Regarding the other issue, I'm truly shocked at how this whole deal has been handled through the court. On the upside, he can't live forever.

Original poster
Sleepneededprettyplease · Yesterday 00:40

WhatWouldRoyKentSay · Yesterday 00:08

Congratulations on your pregnancy @Sleepneededprettyplease!!

Regarding the other issue, I'm truly shocked at how this whole deal has been handled through the court. On the upside, he can't live forever.

He can't. It is also a daft house to age in so...

OP posts:
Ohnobackagain · Yesterday 10:38

@Sleepneededprettyplease now he thinks he has ‘won’ you may find now he has nothing left to fight for he decides to leave sooner than he might have. Presumably you intend to have as little contact with him as you possibly can, which I feel will help …

Original poster
Sleepneededprettyplease · Yesterday 10:45

Ohnobackagain · Yesterday 10:38

@Sleepneededprettyplease now he thinks he has ‘won’ you may find now he has nothing left to fight for he decides to leave sooner than he might have. Presumably you intend to have as little contact with him as you possibly can, which I feel will help …

I am going to appoint an agent as soon as this is settled. It will mean I see even less money but worth it for my MH. I hope to never have any contact with him ever again.

OP posts:
SheilaFentiman · Yesterday 10:55

Good idea about the agent.

OVienna · Yesterday 11:31

You csn still put the rent up every year right?

Original poster
Sleepneededprettyplease · Yesterday 13:08

OVienna · Yesterday 11:31

You csn still put the rent up every year right?

Only in a controlled way. Not to market rate or even close.

OP posts:
Reallywhatsthat · Yesterday 21:55

Mega congrats on the pregnancy OP. Still shocked about how the court has handled this, and given the old …. something he was never entitled to.

Original poster
Sleepneededprettyplease · Today 01:28

Reallywhatsthat · Yesterday 21:55

Mega congrats on the pregnancy OP. Still shocked about how the court has handled this, and given the old …. something he was never entitled to.

If I had the resources to fight further then I might have got more. However it was clear he was getting a chunk and this seemed the only practical route. Otherwise the whole estate would be swallowed in lawyers fees.

OP posts:
LovesLabradors · Today 01:45

I think you're wise to settle tbh - too many people will allow legal fees to swallow the entire inheritance, just for a principle - what's the point of that?
He didn't actually get all that he wanted - iirc he wanted to be given the house, I believe? Instead he's just got it for life, or until he moves out, and has to pay you rent (even if a peppercorn rent).
I still can't believe a Judge has ruled this! But hey that's the way the cookie crumbles I guess.
Huge congratulations on your pregnancy! And one day you will have a house to sell - what a wonderful windfall that will be, when it happens.

Swipe left for the next trending thread