To think husband doesn't get to have it both ways re children?

How far away is their Dad's workplace? How far away is the mother's place?
Say if the 14yr old cut his/her finger badly making a sandwich and both of you were out what would they do?

Your questions are indicating that their Dad is not that bothered/places no importance in spending time with his kids.

This includes your young kids too, so you have that to look forward to.

What did he do before you two had your own kids?

Was he behaving like this or did he stay home with them on the weekends at that point?

He's just not that bothered with kids they are pesky and annoying and work is more interesting and fun at the weekends than listening to that racket.

Says the poster that threw in a ‘yawn’, because your level of sleep deprivation is of course an important and on-topic contribution 😂

You’re not required to engage. Feel free to run along and take that nap.

@paulaparticles would be horrified with my very own House of Horror. Mine make their own lunches sometimes mine too AND have to cook dinner once a week 😱They have to, shock horror, clean up after themselves too! I should be ashamed of myself for trying to raise practical, independent, well rounded kids. I forget step children are exempt from this!

@paulaparticles since she is happy to leave them home for her to go out , what makes you think that?

You completely made up a narrative of poor neglected children and an in the dark mother that is based on nothing but projection.

So you're not desperate for money right now but your husband actively chooses to go to work at the weekend, despite having your DSC and his children with you at home?
How posters can put this on you is unbelievable!

Your husband sounds an absolute asshole OP. I'd find that sort of selfish behaviour a complete turn-off. He either needs to stop working at weekends and be a parent to his kids or at least have the decency to talk to their mother and re-arrange the contact order so that the kids can stay with their mother.
TBH he sounds a pretty crap Dad to your kids too if you're left single parenting them all weekend after working all week. What exactly does he do as a parent?

OP cooks for them, cares for them and their needs (washing,cleaning etc) , ferries them around to and from clubs, bothers to let them know she's going out and checks they're ok, even invites them out sometimes. What more do you want?

She cares and does more than their actual parent.

You're really punishing the children. Yes your DH should check rather than assume you will look after them etc. But you're making your point at the expense of the children's emotional welfare. I think you need to be kind and treat your family much better.

What IS your dh expected to do @PickledFrog ? It sounds like you have taken on most of their care. Why? I would be handing that back over to him. Does he do anything for any of his kids?

The children seem to be an inconvenience to all adults.
Posters own words that they were left regularly at night..how would the dad not be concerned or any adult not be concerned 😶 of course it's neglect how is it not ? Neglective parenting even if it's not illegal 🙄
I said myself that sometimes during the day is acceptable for a short while. But no parent to look after them at night regularly is ok with you all 🤔 Make a mockery of me for this then go ahead.

Trying to stick to point of thread...you should take my lead..like a bratty child who has to have last word

I agree with you there @paulaparticles , their parents seem abit lacking. It's a good job OP has willingly taken on most of their care when they are at her house otherwise what kind of life would they have?

No she’s not. She’s just not accepting more responsibility for them than their actual parents, both of whom leave them unattended.

Yet here you still are, still not talking about the subject of the thread. It seems you don’t in fact want me to be following your lead.

What was that about the last word again?

OP doesn't say that DH works because they need the money. She says he's self employed so doesn't need to, which makes it sound like they don't. That leaves the alternative - he does it to get out of parenting his own children.

PPs saying OP is horrible for not taking them out. Why doesn't HE take them out? It's supposed to be his contact time, but he does sod all contact if he's at work. i bet he thought all his Christmases had come at once when he got together with OP - ah, he thought. Another woman I can palm childcare on to.

Yes it's awful for the kids if they have two crap parents. But the OP doesn't have to compensate for that.

@paulaparticles you're literally making zero sense.

In your previous post you said OP and DH should have custody: Omg you keep reminding everyone that their mum leaves them home alone to go out at night etc...neglect. Why aren't you both going for full custody.

And now you're saying the ex should have custody.

Make up your mind will ya!!

OP why are you putting up with this shit?

Working all week, then looking after your own DC all weekend, doing the washing / cooking for all, picking up at least some of the slack for SC as well or getting grief for not.

What does your DP bring?

Agree with DustyLee123

"Just remember that he’d treat your kids the same if you split up. He’s not a good dad"

I think you need to remind him of his responsibilities.

if the children are 12 & 14 it's quite unlikely they would want to go out with their much younger siblings for the day.

The OP needs to look after and entertain the younger kids.

12 & 14 year olds are perfectly capable of making themselves lunch. But I do feel that someone should be checking in on them. The 'contact' is for the kids and their dad, their dad sounds like he is a total twat who would rather make money than spend time with his kids. Very sad.

I can easily believe it if they’re doing what MN does best - picking things out of the air that OP’s haven’t said, and projecting their own experiences instead of looking at the facts.

My teens the same survive weekend on subways and pot noodles - they can cook but choose not to. They hand around the house, game and play football.
As long as op is communicating with the teens about weekend then don't see the issue. If they had a burning desire to go with op and their young siblings I'm sure they would say something.

I’d be furious if my children were being left to their own devises while my ex was in work and his partner couldn’t be bothered to even feed my children. Those poor kids!

Poor kids

Info in the thread changed and I obviously changed my tone along with it... rtft...

Good for you. What do you want? A cookie? Their mother feels and does differently. It happens.

drip feeding etc