Child maintenance q

No I wouldn’t. I would be saying the exact same thing as I’ve said already. If there is another child in the equation then that naturally impacts on situation and getting professional advice would be sensible.

I haven’t read your comment personally and my comment wasn’t targeted at you. It was targeted at people baffled by the fact he pays at all.

Nope

They were married at the time of conception therefore whether he is on the birth certificate or not the law considers him the father

@SecondHandFurniture
He is the parent, according to the courts, so yes. If you knowingly consent to IVF and you are married, you are the legal second parent. At the time of conception the mother was, on paper, agreeing to parent this child with her husband

is there a court case/ law backing this up?
Just very curious...

https://kiddspoorlaw.co.uk/parental-responsibility-and-assisted-conception-via-ivf-or-a-donor/

"Who has parental responsibility after sperm donation?

If conception has been achieved with sperm from a donor, the position will depend on whether this happened in an HFEA licensed clinic, at an unlicensed clinic or informally.

If you gave birth to the child, you will be regarded as the legal mother and have parental responsibility, regardless that you have used a sperm donor.

Sperm donation in an HFEA licensed clinic

• if you are the married spouse or civil partner, you will have parental responsibility so long as you provide consent;"

I suppose I'm making an assumption an HFEA agreement was signed.

You said this:

"On what basis? That they "agreed" ? Presumably they agreed based on the fact they were together, if that changes doesn't it change rights as well?"

That's why I used the adoption scenario. You can't become a parent on the proviso that you stay together.

To be honest I don't know how she managed to keep OP off the birth certificate.

But this simply wouldn't happen in an adoption scenario.

No you can't become a parent on the proviso you stay together. You become a parent on the proviso you remain one.

Which hasn't happened has it? This was not the agreement.

So if for example they agreed to do donor sperm IVF as a happily married couple, and he then turned into an abusive idiot and the mum had to ban all contact and seek legal advice as a result, do you still think he should never have to pay because they bought sperm rather than using his own?

(This is just an example, I’m not saying he’s abusive, male, or in the wrong, just an example for those assuming poor OP has done nothing wrong and is trapped paying through no fault of their own).

I'm guessing the op here could be female.

This, what was the time frame of getting pregnant/leaving you/moving in with new man? Could he actually be the father?

Er no because that wouldn't be a mutual decision and Is also a wildly different situation?

I think you should book a session with a solicitor. Imo you shouldnt be paying but it depends what was signed as part of ivf.

Maintenance is based on YOUR income. You get a reduction for your own child. Your partners income or lack of is irrelevant

It could literally be this situation… OP hasn’t provided details of the split, it could easily be because they were at fault.

Fair enough. Because I read: “If this child was biologically his you’d all be slamming him right now” I lumped myself in with the ‘all’.

I just think it is a complex situation and OP could do with getting some professional advice now that there is an additional child to consider.

All we have to go on is the op. I've advised based on the op. I haven't advised based on some "could be the case" conjured up story of abuse because that's simply not the information that's been given.

Op could be a convicted career criminal for all we know but we can't advise based on the assumption that they could be. They literally could be anything. The ex wife might have planned this whole scenario for all know but we can't advise on that because we only have the information we have.

Be careful, that the CMS is not higher ! as it is extremely likely that you are earning more now than you did 10 years ago.

You’ve assumed it’s all mutual and that there is no fault on either side, that the mum is just having her cake and eating it. The fact is it may not be as simple as that.

I've not assumed it. It says mum would take him to court if he used his parental rights. That's not me assuming. That's right there in the post

Yes but she could have said that because OP was abusive or unreasonable. OP also says they don’t feel anything for the child and see it as a tax, so they don’t want contact anyway…

Yes them not wanting it is the very definition if "mutual"

Do you assume all ops are lying and expect people to answer based on what might be the truth or just this one?

I didn’t say OP may be lying, they haven’t said either way whose fault the break up was or how they behaved. Just that they don’t feel they are a parent to the child. It’s you who’s decided the narrative here, I was trying to explain we don’t have all the info and it may not be as clear cut as you have decided from the very limited info available. Clearly I wasted my time.

Why didn’t you fight for contact with your son at the time, when he was born? He was your son, regardless of biology. And you just walked away? Contact was guaranteed to be granted. The child was legally yours.

You don’t get to stop paying maintenance. Having a child by IVF is the same as having one naturally. You sign all the documentation and you are legally responsible for that child until they turn 18. You need to use the CMS online calculator using your salary to check what you need to pay. A solicitor won’t be able to change anything without changing the law.

I’m not legally trained but don’t agree with this statement.

By the time of the pregnancy - you had moved out of the marital home, your wife had moved a new partner in (are you sure the child isn’t his)? You aren’t named on the birth certificate (so assume you don’t have parental responsibility) and you have not met the child. You have no parental responsibility, therefore imo you shouldn’t have to pay.

If you do have parental responsibility, the fact that you have another child living with you - then yes, this is taken into account wrt child maintenance and you would pay less.

It may be worth having a chat to someone at the CMS to get advice. Failing that - I would get some advice from a family law solicitor.

There has to be a way of determining parental responsibility (NOT "rights") and if the OP consented to be the second parent on paper, at conception, as they said they did, that is the way it's done for donor IVF.