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AIBU?

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Original poster

To tell DS Santa isn’t real?

71 replies

Firebrain · 16/12/2023 22:12

DS who is 7, nearly 8, seems to be clocking on that Santa is just fantasy. He keeps asking me logical questions about him.

”How does Santa deliver all the presents to everyone in just one night, it would take ages?” “How do the reindeer fly?” “How can Santa live at the North Pole when there’s just frozen sea and no land?” “Surely someone must have seen him at some point on CCTV!”. I could go on.

I don’t know what to say other than “it’s just magic”. What more can I say? I’m just wondering whether to tell him and then tell him not to tell his brother who is 4.

OP posts:
Yesididntdothat · 16/12/2023 22:13

God no he's far too young.

StephanieSuperpowers · 16/12/2023 22:14

Literally one week before the big man arrives? What a time to pick.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 16/12/2023 22:15

Let him carry on believing as long as poss. Childhood is so fleeting.
also if he does figure it out tell him not to tell everyone at school.

aLeagueOfTheirOwn · 16/12/2023 22:15

I wouldn't tell him. Once he knows for sure, Christmas will never be the same. He may be skeptical but part of him still believes, don't take that away. He'll find out soon enough, keep the magic going as long as possible.

ExTheCheater · 16/12/2023 22:16

Just no op. All kids bloody ask questions.

Original poster
Firebrain · 16/12/2023 22:16

@StephanieSuperpowers Or maybe in January? He doesn’t think it makes sense and I have no answer for it.

OP posts:
CrackersCheeseAndWinePlease · 16/12/2023 22:16

No definitely don't tell him. Keep the magic alive as long as you can because once it's gone, it's gone x

dizzydizzydizzy · 16/12/2023 22:18

He might just be playing along. I'm pretty sure I never ever believed in Father Christmas but I loved all the rituals. Even at about 12 I used to love leaving out a mince pie and whisky and carrot and seeing the empty plate in the morning, even though i had known for many years that it www my mum and dad eating it all.

salamithumbs · 16/12/2023 22:18

I don't think this is the right time of year to tell him! Wait a few weeks at least... you don't have to answer his questions, just say you don't know. Santa is a man of mystery!

parietal · 16/12/2023 22:19

Give vague answers and say it's magic. Don't tell him now.

mamma65432 · 16/12/2023 22:20

no it's magic - and when he's older then it's still magic if he wants santa to bring him presents

Applerumleandcustard · 16/12/2023 22:20

Just say something like
I know , it doesn’t seem possible , I don’t understand it either

salamithumbs · 16/12/2023 22:20

Just to add, if you tell him and he says to other kids 'my mum told me he's not real' as my friend did at around that age, there might be a few upset kids close to Christmas 😬

Janeykat · 16/12/2023 22:20

I never really believed in Santa growing up as I asked my dad when I was very young (maybe 4 or 5) straight out if Santa was real and he said no. My older sister was upset but my younger sister then was never brought up with santa so in my childhood it just wasnt a thing. Christmas was still really magical for us and I dont think not believing in Santa made it less so. I do remember being really proud of my parents for not lying to us when other parents mostly did.

TeaKitten · 16/12/2023 22:20

Well it isn’t night time all over the world at the same time for one thing, so explain time differences to help that one. Has he been to the North Pole? Then how does he no people don’t live there. It’s little, keep the magic going.

MargaretThursday · 16/12/2023 22:20

You tell him and the first thing he will do is rush round to tell his exciting news with his little brother.
I'd wait until mid year, when it doesn't seem as important news to pass on.

StephanieSuperpowers · 16/12/2023 22:20

Firebrain · 16/12/2023 22:16

@StephanieSuperpowers Or maybe in January? He doesn’t think it makes sense and I have no answer for it.

Well in fairness, it doesn't make sense. But 8 is really only a baby in the scheme of things. Have a chat with him in January or any time that's not now and find out what he wants. If he wants to believe, let him. If he wants the truth, tell him. Bit now is not the time! It really would ruin Christmas for him.

Original poster
Firebrain · 16/12/2023 22:21

@dizzydizzydizzy I do have a feeling he doesn’t believe in him this year. He’s never asked me about any of this in any previous December. Non stop questions this year.

OP posts:
Turquoisesea · 16/12/2023 22:21

My DS was the same, asking lots of questions and started to work it out when he was 8. He finally asked me out right if he was real and my slight hesitation was enough for him to work out he wasn’t. I was sad as he was really young but he never told his Dsis who is younger. He’s 19 now and it hasn’t traumatised him. I wouldn’t tell your DS before Christmas though but maybe by next Christmas he will probably have worked it out.

Hellocatshome · 16/12/2023 22:21

Just blag your way through it for 1 more year dont tell him a week before the big day. BUT I dont think he is necessarily too young my DS was 5 when he told me with absolute certainly that it was all made up along with the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. It is a made up story and is so far fetched that kids will work it out some sooner than others and some people who are convinced their kids still believe would be suprised to discover they dont and havent for a while.

JudyGemstone · 16/12/2023 22:22

He is not too young.
if he asks directly I would tell the truth. If they’re old enough to ask sensible questions they get sensible answers.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 16/12/2023 22:22

salamithumbs · 16/12/2023 22:20

Just to add, if you tell him and he says to other kids 'my mum told me he's not real' as my friend did at around that age, there might be a few upset kids close to Christmas 😬

And some pretty upset parents.

pizzaHeart · 16/12/2023 22:24

Do you know how all these happen? No, that’s the plain truth.
You don’t always know all answers.

lf4 · 16/12/2023 22:25

"I've often wondered that myself! What do you think? How do you think he gets round everyone/the reindeer fly/never been on cctv"

Ask him these and I bet the magical answers he comes up with surprise you because he wants to believe. Don't ruin it yet.

mintmagnum3 · 16/12/2023 22:28

I think those questions are very valid for a 7 year old! But I don't think that means the magic has to end. He will thank you, in years to come, for all the stories and imagination you out into keeping the magic alive.
Keep going 🎅🏼