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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or did this guy overreact to our dog approaching him?

536 replies

MrsH1992 · 05/10/2023 21:04

So we were walking our doodle on the beach who's about a year old and 4kg. Most the beach is no-dogs allowed in summer but this is the only bit they are allowed on. She's usually really good but sometimes has bad recall if she sees someone she knows. There was a guy in a red coat who I think she mistook for my dad as he has a similar coat/ build and she ran over to him and put her front paws up on his knees. We were running after her apologising when the guy tries to repeatedly stomp and kick her. She ran back to me terrified. This guy is now screaming at us and swearing really badly. He has a little kid with him (maybe three) so we say sorry but he needs to calm down. He then threatened us and was trying to square up to my husband. We're just trying to get round him but he's blocking our way (we need to continue along the shore line to get back to our car). In the end we get past but I was on the verge of calling the police.

So I know some people really don't like dogs and we should have her under control but it was the dog section of the beach plus she's tiny. I think he massively overreacted and shouldn't come to the dog beach if he feels that strongly and is liable to loose his temper like that. AIBU?

OP posts:
Lostcotter · 06/10/2023 00:22

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 06/10/2023 00:17

Your dog is. Must have been pretty unpleasant for the poor chap on the beach. Just proves that all dogs can be unpredictable, should be leashed and muzzled in public places.

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It’s a shame but I think that’s where we are headed, because although most dog owners are probably responsible and considerate the past 5-10 years especially have shown far too many are reckless with a weird sort of reverence for their “fur babies” which leads to a complete lack of empathy or regard for the safety, comfort and personal space of their fellow humans. So the selfish minority may lead to them all having to be leashed and muzzled outside of designated areas.

Original poster
MrsH1992 · 06/10/2023 00:23

vodkaredbullgirl · 06/10/2023 00:21

They always exaggerate on every dog thread.

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Thanks. It's mad to me that a small puppy trotting up and putting it paws on a guys knee (not jumping or making any sounds) and then immediately retreating is being equated to a vicious attack.

OP posts:
NewName122 · 06/10/2023 00:23

MrsH1992 · 06/10/2023 00:21

Actually it was pretty unpleasant for us to have a guy try to kick and stomp our puppy and then threaten to hit both me and my husband and physically square up to my husband. Luckily we stayed calm and managed to get away. I hope I never meet someone like you or him in public again

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That does sound unpleasant. Do understand though that while you love your dog many people do not want your dog approaching them. Hopefully if you train him you won't be in this situation again.

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 06/10/2023 00:29

MrsH1992 · 06/10/2023 00:23

Thanks. It's mad to me that a small puppy trotting up and putting it paws on a guys knee (not jumping or making any sounds) and then immediately retreating is being equated to a vicious attack.

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it’s a consent-free invasion of personal space by an unpredictable species with a drooling mouth full of sharp teeth, sharp claws, stupid tongue and annoyingly visible anus and sometimes bollocks, commonly responsible for pissing and shitting in shared spaces.

RantyAnty · 06/10/2023 00:31

Are you going to keep the dog on a lead from now on?

Original poster
MrsH1992 · 06/10/2023 00:37

So since that incident we kept her on lead for a long time and did more training. Now we let her off lead in certain quiet areas but put her back on if there's kids, other dogs on leads or people who look nervous/ unsure. We've never had another incident.

OP posts:
2024815pm · 06/10/2023 00:39

RantyAnty · 06/10/2023 00:31

Are you going to keep the dog on a lead from now on?

Is it ok for a guy to kick and stomp her dog?

KajsaKavat · 06/10/2023 00:42

The dog JJ’s led up on the man, he may be terrified of dogs, the dog should not have been off the lead.

Original poster
MrsH1992 · 06/10/2023 00:42

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 06/10/2023 00:29

it’s a consent-free invasion of personal space by an unpredictable species with a drooling mouth full of sharp teeth, sharp claws, stupid tongue and annoyingly visible anus and sometimes bollocks, commonly responsible for pissing and shitting in shared spaces.

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You obviously don't like dogs and that's fine but that doesn't make this a viscous attack, I agree is was a nuisance

OP posts:
2024815pm · 06/10/2023 00:44

Ok dokey it's a wee dog we all know that. It's not an XL Bully

Original poster
MrsH1992 · 06/10/2023 00:46

KajsaKavat · 06/10/2023 00:42

The dog JJ’s led up on the man, he may be terrified of dogs, the dog should not have been off the lead.

So everyone keeps saying the dog shouldn't of been off lead but why should a dog with no prior history of approaching strangers be on lead - genuinely interested. I agree following the incident the dog should be on lead until properly trained and trustworthy.

OP posts:
Isittimeformynapyet · 06/10/2023 00:47

onlyoneoftheregimentinstep · 05/10/2023 21:08

Your dog should not be off the lead unless he has perfect recall. End of.

"End of."

Nice try 🤣

Don'tcha hate it when your inferiors will not obey!

nocoolnamesleft · 06/10/2023 00:52

Your dog should be on a lead unless recall is bomb proof. If you let your dog off the lead when recall is not bomb proof, the consequences are on your head.

Crumpleton · 06/10/2023 00:54

So I know some people really don't like dogs and we should have her under control but it was the dog section of the beach plus she's tiny

Read this back to yourself.

You've admitted you know you were in the wrong and sometimes her recall isn't good so therefore could have prevented the situation from happening, doesn't matter whether your dogs allowed on the beach or is only tiny.

Original poster
MrsH1992 · 06/10/2023 00:58

nocoolnamesleft · 06/10/2023 00:52

Your dog should be on a lead unless recall is bomb proof. If you let your dog off the lead when recall is not bomb proof, the consequences are on your head.

So the dog had had a perfect track record when out in public with strangers until this point and we subsequently took appropriate steps, not sure how this is irresponsible.

OP posts:
nocoolnamesleft · 06/10/2023 01:01

So his recall was not bombproof. So the consequences are on you. If he had run under a car, it would be on you. If he had bitten the toddler, it would have been on you. Instead he harassed a man walking with a toddler, who understandably freaked out, and that is on you. If you choose to have a dog, and do not control it, the lack of control is on you.

Frozensun · 06/10/2023 01:04

It’s seems an overreaction BUT you have no idea why he reacted this way. Animal phobia? The child has animal phobia? someone in his life mauled by a dog? I’ve had dogs all my life. I had a dog (who I adored) who was 45kg and extremely reactive to animals. I lost count of the number of times an unleashed dog would run up - with the owners unconcernedly calling ‘he’s friendly’. Yeah, my dog is likely to tear yours up. Keep it leashed.

KenAdams · 06/10/2023 01:06

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 06/10/2023 00:03

I’d have hurled the little fucker into the sea.

If I ran up to you and put my hands on your body and started panting with my stupid long pink tongue hanging out, would you be happy ?

Ah we've got to level "drown the dog" on dog threads now. Aren't MNers lovely people?

nocoolnamesleft · 06/10/2023 01:07

KenAdams · 06/10/2023 01:06

Ah we've got to level "drown the dog" on dog threads now. Aren't MNers lovely people?

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People would be rather more tolerant of dogs if their owners 1)fucking controlled them, and 2)didn't use public places as fucking toilets for them.

2024815pm · 06/10/2023 01:11

Crumpleton · 06/10/2023 00:54

So I know some people really don't like dogs and we should have her under control but it was the dog section of the beach plus she's tiny

Read this back to yourself.

You've admitted you know you were in the wrong and sometimes her recall isn't good so therefore could have prevented the situation from happening, doesn't matter whether your dogs allowed on the beach or is only tiny.

I'd stop replying sweetie

Crumpleton · 06/10/2023 01:15

2024815pm · 06/10/2023 01:11

I'd stop replying sweetie

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Sweetie???

AllesAusLiebe · 06/10/2023 01:18

I'm with the man here, op. If a dog bounded towards me and DS, I'd react out of concern for his safety.

Knifeandforkwhocares · 06/10/2023 02:42

MrsH1992 · 06/10/2023 00:46

So everyone keeps saying the dog shouldn't of been off lead but why should a dog with no prior history of approaching strangers be on lead - genuinely interested. I agree following the incident the dog should be on lead until properly trained and trustworthy.

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Because you are in a public place. Your dog is intruding into other peoples personal space. It’s 100% unacceptable. I’m surprised that you cannot seem to comprehend this!

CeeceeBloomingdale · 06/10/2023 06:56

You didn't control your animal them you told the man it was attacking he needed to calm down! YABVU. I am sick of dogs, some on long leads, jumping up on me, ruining my clothes and scaring me and my children. I do not want to be touched by random animals. I don't care if they are friendly, won't hurt, are only small or whatever random excuse dog owners like to give. Dogs should not be making physical contact with a stranger.

Spanne · 06/10/2023 07:02

It was a completely disproportionate response to a minor inconvenience. the bloke you encountered sounds like an absolute prick.

Never try to get a balanced view on anything to do with dogs on mumsnet!