Page 19 | AIBU or did this guy overreact to our dog approaching him?

MrsH1992 · 2023-10-05T20:04:08+00:00

So we were walking our doodle on the beach who's about a year old and 4kg. Most the beach is no-dogs allowed in summer but this is the only bit they are allowed on. She's usually really good but sometimes has bad recall if she sees someone she knows. There was a guy in a red coat who I think she mistook for my dad as he has a similar coat/ build and she ran over to him and put her front paws up on his knees. We were running after her apologising when the guy tries to repeatedly stomp and kick her. She ran back to me terrified. This guy is now screaming at us and swearing really badly. He has a little kid with him (maybe three) so we say sorry but he needs to calm down. He then threatened us and was trying to square up to my husband. We're just trying to get round him but he's blocking our way (we need to continue along the shore line to get back to our car). In the end we get past but I was on the verge of calling the police. So I know some people really don't like dogs and we should have her under control but it was the dog section of the beach plus she's tiny. I think he massively overreacted and shouldn't come to the dog beach if he feels that strongly and is liable to loose his temper like that. AIBU?

RedSquirrelsRock · 09/10/2023 20:02

Your dog is friendly? I don't care, I don't want it near me.

THEDEACON · 09/10/2023 20:05

Guy was out of order but your dog shouldn't be off lead with such poor recall regardless

MasterBeth · 09/10/2023 20:19

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 08/10/2023 18:53

Of course he was being unreasonable. But this is mumsnet where the general consensus is that dogs should never be off the lead in public and certainly not if their recall isn’t 100% perfect at all times. Even if they are off the lead in the sort of dog friendly place you go to practice recall like the dog section of a beach. I’m not sure how they’re expected to have perfect recall if they’re never allowed off the lead to practice, but hey, that’s mumsnet.

anyone that reacts like that over what is essentially a minor annoyance probably shouldn’t be out alone in public, especially not caring for a child.

It's your problem where you find somewhere suitable to train your dog. If you can't find somewhere to train it properly before you inflict it on the rest of us, maybe DON'T HAVE A DOG!

Otherwise, you're perfectly entitled to have a dog, but your dog is not entitled to interfere with me and my family. The fucking cheek of the people on here excusing this dog's/dog owner's behaviour. It doesn't matter if it's small or "friendly", it shouldn't be jumping at, pawing at or clawing at people.

Katy123g · 09/10/2023 20:24

My 8 year old is terrified of dogs especially when off the lead and we think it stems from a dog stealing a sandwich out of his hand when he was 2 years old. He was petrified and the owner couldn't have given less of a shit.

It makes going for a simple family walk quite stressful at times when so many dogs are walked off lead.

He's not too bad with dogs on leads but as soon as he realises one is off, especially if its running around, he's petrified.

I don't care how friendly a dog owner thinks their dog is, if it has a 0.01% chance of running up to someone, keep it on a damn lead.

Frankly OP, due to the number of times I've had my 8 year-old in tears and asking me to pick him up because he's scared of a dog, I really can't blame the man for reacting as he did.

Missjd87 · 09/10/2023 21:05

No he shouldn’t have sworn but fear makes us irrational.
However, if a dog has bad recall.
It needs to be on a lead.
Simple.

AnneValentine · 09/10/2023 21:15

Beachwalker66 · 08/10/2023 10:57

You sound absolutely deranged and quite dangerous.

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Not at all. A dog should not be coming into contact with anyone. And if it does expect me to protect myself.

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 09/10/2023 21:36

You absolutely shouldn't have let your dog off the lead. I'd be furious too, though wouldn't have threatened you because that would make my behaviour equally as bad as yours was.

Loloj · 09/10/2023 21:38

YANBU!!!

I can not believe some of the utterly ridiculous comments on this thread - twisting everything OP has said and even saying they are lying about the weight of the dog - wtf!

4kg is perfectly normal for poodle mix - depending on the mix and and size of poodle.

If you live near a beach they often have sections where dogs are allowed - both off and on lead. Dogs are let off their leads in these areas - and yes whilst dogs should only be let off lead once they have good recall they have to learn - and the only way to really learn is by practicing. So at times you may come across dogs who haven’t fully mastered the skill.

If you are a person scared of dogs (so much so that you risk lashing out kicking and stomping at a defenceless puppy) then I wouldn’t suggest venturing on the “dog section” of the beach.

YANBU

Frazzledfraggle07 · 10/10/2023 06:33

YABU, you know your dog but this guy didn't. Sounds like he reacted like any parent would if they thought a dog was coming for their child and he could have called the police about you.

I absolutely hate it when dog owners make excuses, your dog maybe fine with you but doesn't mean they will be with everyone, they are animals who act and react on instinct.

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 10/10/2023 07:26

MasterBeth · 09/10/2023 20:19

It's your problem where you find somewhere suitable to train your dog. If you can't find somewhere to train it properly before you inflict it on the rest of us, maybe DON'T HAVE A DOG!

Otherwise, you're perfectly entitled to have a dog, but your dog is not entitled to interfere with me and my family. The fucking cheek of the people on here excusing this dog's/dog owner's behaviour. It doesn't matter if it's small or "friendly", it shouldn't be jumping at, pawing at or clawing at people.

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No it shouldn’t be jumping at or running up to people. But a small dog is less of a threat than an aggressive man. Boggles my mind that people are defending this man and thinking it was ok for him to be so aggressive and abusive in public just because her dog was a bit annoying.

I would find his aggression far more frightening than a small dog tapping my knee. Mumsnet is a very odd place, where a potentially violent man is defended because a dog had a slight lapse in behaviour. Yes the OP should work on her dogs recall, I’m sure she is doing just that, but the man’s reaction was frightening, disproportionate and incredibly unreasonable. The amount of people siding with him is scary, I’d would t want to meet any of you out in public.

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 10/10/2023 07:29

Frazzledfraggle07 · 10/10/2023 06:33

YABU, you know your dog but this guy didn't. Sounds like he reacted like any parent would if they thought a dog was coming for their child and he could have called the police about you.

I absolutely hate it when dog owners make excuses, your dog maybe fine with you but doesn't mean they will be with everyone, they are animals who act and react on instinct.

Any parents would start screaming, staring up to people and trying to stamp on and kick the dog? Because it ran up to an adult and tapped it on the knee.

ok, slightly concerning 😳

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 10/10/2023 07:29

Squaring up to people.

Bovrilla · 10/10/2023 07:35

So this is a tiny fluffball young dog which half the readers on here seem to think is some sort of terrifying attack dog Bully XL type??!

Yes, you should have the dog on a long line, especially at that age. Teenage months in dogs means that recall is patchy and they go through a hideous rebellion phase of ignoring you and needing basic retraining. So lesson learned, lead for now.

However that does NOT excuse the criminally threatening behaviour of this man towards you or the dog. He was bang out of order.

So both of you were BU.

Bearcub101 · 10/10/2023 07:45

For alL you know OP the man or his child may have been bitten in the past. Yes YOU know your dog wouldn’t have likely bitten them, but they don’t.

Don’t think this thread turned out as you thought it would did it?

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 10/10/2023 07:49

Bearcub101 · 10/10/2023 07:45

For alL you know OP the man or his child may have been bitten in the past. Yes YOU know your dog wouldn’t have likely bitten them, but they don’t.

Don’t think this thread turned out as you thought it would did it?

I’m really surprised that people think it fine for a man to act so aggressively in public. We live in a strange world where people see a small dog, barely more of a puppy, as more of a threat than an aggressive man who’s squaring up and appears to be looking for a fight.

i which I’d rather take my chances against.

Bingbangboo64 · 10/10/2023 07:51

Think moral of the story here is to keep your dog on leash. The guy kight have seen an out of control dog and protected his child and or have had a bad experience himself as a child wirh a dog,who knows, i think all the fur babies should be on leashes.

Bingbangboo64 · 10/10/2023 07:53

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 10/10/2023 07:49

I’m really surprised that people think it fine for a man to act so aggressively in public. We live in a strange world where people see a small dog, barely more of a puppy, as more of a threat than an aggressive man who’s squaring up and appears to be looking for a fight.

i which I’d rather take my chances against.

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You think barely a puppy cant do any damage if they sink their teeth into childs face?

my uncle got blinded- by a chicken. He is a farmer and happened to have near a chicken as he had since he was a child 1000s of times before,all it took was one wrong random peck in his eye.

ToTheMoonandBack2xRoundthesun · 10/10/2023 08:05

Should he have tried to stomp on your dog.. no. But you let your dog off lead. Take the responsibility and own it. You are responsible for your dogs behaviour, not the dog. Regardless of how good it's recall has been, it is still an animal and will react in an unpredictable way .. as happened that day. I have had dogs since I was 6, I'm well into my 40s now. Would I leave my kids unattended with our dog, no. Why? Because it is an animal! Not a child, not human, animal. You are the responsible party here. Not the other man. Nor the Dog!

Accept that you failed in your duty to be a responsible thoughtful dog owner, regardless of how well your dog behaved before.. you are determined to paint the picture of this man's wild behaviour, when the reality is clear.

If you had your dog on a leash, Regardless of size, breed and training, this event would never have happened. So yes you are being very unreasonable . Accept you are at fault and move on.

vodkaredbullgirl · 10/10/2023 08:38

Bearcub101 · 10/10/2023 07:45

For alL you know OP the man or his child may have been bitten in the past. Yes YOU know your dog wouldn’t have likely bitten them, but they don’t.

Don’t think this thread turned out as you thought it would did it?

Because most the posters, are the ones who don't like dogs.

MasterBeth · 10/10/2023 11:07

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 10/10/2023 07:26

No it shouldn’t be jumping at or running up to people. But a small dog is less of a threat than an aggressive man. Boggles my mind that people are defending this man and thinking it was ok for him to be so aggressive and abusive in public just because her dog was a bit annoying.

I would find his aggression far more frightening than a small dog tapping my knee. Mumsnet is a very odd place, where a potentially violent man is defended because a dog had a slight lapse in behaviour. Yes the OP should work on her dogs recall, I’m sure she is doing just that, but the man’s reaction was frightening, disproportionate and incredibly unreasonable. The amount of people siding with him is scary, I’d would t want to meet any of you out in public.

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I have not defended the man. The man behaved appallingly.

However, saying the dog (or, more correctly, the dog owner) had a "slight lapse in behaviour" is minimising what happened. What might seem nothing to someone who likes dogs can be anywhere from annoying to inconvenient (muddy paws) to painful to dangerous to terrifying. You don't know how people around you will react to your dog, so the only reasonable behaviour is to not let your dog jump at/run towards/paw at people. If you can't manage that, don't have a dog.

Alwayswildatheart · 10/10/2023 14:32

vodkaredbullgirl · 10/10/2023 08:38

Because most the posters, are the ones who don't like dogs.

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I love dogs, my whole life is about them but OP was negligent and ignorant as a dog owner. However from the Gov website:

It’s against the law to let a dog be dangerously out of control anywhere, such as:

in a public place
in a private place, for example a neighbour’s house or garden
in the owner’s home

The law applies to all dogs.

You can report a dog that’s out of control.

Out of control

Your dog is considered dangerously out of control if it:

injures someone
makes someone worried that it might injure them

It can include being jumped up at (what ever the size of dog) in a public space which the beach is.

Wake up OP and take on board your responsibilities as a dog owner!

Controlling your dog in public

You can be fined if your dog is out of control in public - find out about Dog Control Orders, banned dogs, dog fouling and reporting a dangerous dog

https://www.gov.uk/control-dog-public/report-a-dog

Bloom15 · 10/10/2023 14:50

I would probably instinctively kick your dog OP.

I have been bitten by 2 small dogs- a Yorkshire Terrier when I was about 8 and playing in my garden. He belonged to the neighbour and crawled under the fence: he chased mr cat so i shooed him away and he bit me on the hand and leg. I have scars still on my leg.

Then about 15 years ago by a 'ratting' dog. Horrible thing - walking to my parents' home and he chased after me for no reason and bit me twice on the ankle. I believe it was put down not long after for attacking a child.

So - I wouldn't square up to you but I might kick your dog and shout at you

Annfr · 10/10/2023 17:36

Sorry but my dog would do exactly the same thing. That's why unfortunately he's always walked on a lead.

OneTC · 10/10/2023 18:02

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 10/10/2023 07:49

I’m really surprised that people think it fine for a man to act so aggressively in public. We live in a strange world where people see a small dog, barely more of a puppy, as more of a threat than an aggressive man who’s squaring up and appears to be looking for a fight.

i which I’d rather take my chances against.

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Of course people don't really think like that but they're in the impossible spot of being vaguely understanding about dogs.

IndigoLaFaye · 10/10/2023 20:59

I don’t get all the people who don’t understand that doodles can be that small. I have a doodle who is that tiny.

Anyway, I do think his reaction was completely ridiculous but the dog should also be on a long line if recall isn’t perfect. Ultimately if it had been this wouldn’t have happened.