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AIBU?

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Original poster

To refuse to let DD buy this?

200 replies

Redpurplegreenblue · 30/09/2023 22:52

Our autistic DD wants to buy one of these 2 Christmas Jellycat’s when they come back in stock. She would be using her own money, although it’s a lot of money so she really wouldn’t have much left. DH has already said she can without even asking me but I’m more unsure about it because 1. It’s a lot of money and 2. DD has said she wants one to cuddle/sleep with but the 2 Jellycat’s she wants don’t look like they will be very comfortable to cuddle/sleep with 3. They are very big (the Christmas tree is 55cm x 15cm. And the wreath is 44cm x 37cm) and I just think they will be too big for her to sleep with comfortably and to cuddle comfortably 4. The wreath is likely to be an awkward shape to cuddle/sleep with.

DD expects them to be comfortable/cuddly to cuddle and sleep with every night. It’s a lot of money and I would hate for her to be disappointed if it comes and she can’t sleep/cuddle with it every night like she’s expecting.

Would I be unreasonable to tell her she can’t buy either of them? DD only wants one but would I be unreasonable to say that she can’t get either of these Jellycat’s?

DD (autistic) is 11. She would be using birthday money to buy it. I’ve already tried to explain to her that I don’t think the tree or wreath will be very comfortable to cuddle or sleep with every night but DD insists that they will be fine to cuddle and sleep with every night.

To refuse to let DD buy this?
To refuse to let DD buy this?
OP posts:
Thread gallery
17
Tiswa · 30/09/2023 22:53

Is there somewhere that sells them that she can actually see and feel them before she buys it

NightSku0 · 30/09/2023 22:54

It’s her money and she wants it.

id let her have it but encourage the £70 one.

pointythings · 30/09/2023 22:54

It's a lot of money, but Jellycat toys do tend to be very very soft and cuddly.

CherryMaDeara · 30/09/2023 22:54

£170 for two jelly cats? Shock

I would veto this as well OP.

As Tiswa says, could she see them in a shop?

Original poster
Redpurplegreenblue · 30/09/2023 22:55

Tiswa · 30/09/2023 22:53

Is there somewhere that sells them that she can actually see and feel them before she buys it

Nope they are not even out yet but DD wants one as soon as they come in stock on jellycat!

OP posts:
Original poster
Redpurplegreenblue · 30/09/2023 22:55

CherryMaDeara · 30/09/2023 22:54

£170 for two jelly cats? Shock

I would veto this as well OP.

As Tiswa says, could she see them in a shop?

She only wants one but I still agree it’s a lot.

OP posts:
Original poster
Redpurplegreenblue · 30/09/2023 22:56

NightSku0 · 30/09/2023 22:54

It’s her money and she wants it.

id let her have it but encourage the £70 one.

Oh I was thinking worst case I would encourage her to get the Christmas tree as the wreath probably won’t be comfortable for her to cuddle or sleep with every single day/night?

OP posts:
CareBears48 · 30/09/2023 22:57

Oooh that is very expensive. Agree with the above about finding a shop so she can see and feel them in real-life before making a decision.

Has she been able to explain what it is about these ones in particular that she likes? Jellycat have an enormous range, and although they’re not cheap, they’re not all this expensive.

happsy · 30/09/2023 22:57

Far too much on this. It doesn't even look very cuddly and I just couldn't let her waste her money that way.

whosaidtha · 30/09/2023 22:58

I think the tree is so cute. I want one. I would see if there's a shop she can see them in real life. But if she still wants it, it's her money. So what if she regrets it. I've bought loads I've regretted.

user1471447924 · 30/09/2023 22:59

Yeah i’d be vetoing that too. It’s her money but you’re still her parent

Needmorelego · 30/09/2023 22:59

I think there's smaller Christmas ones - try and persuade her with those.

Sirzy · 30/09/2023 23:00

It’s a lot of money but if she has saved it up and it’s her money then she should be allowed to spend it as she wants.
part of learning to be responsible with money is possibly making errors along the way.

SisterMichaelsHabit · 30/09/2023 23:00

Oh my gosh those are adorable! I can't imagine a non-cuddly Jellycat toy.
I'd go for the Christmas tree as it looks a better shape for bedtime cuddling. Worst case scenario she can put it in a corner of her room as a mini Christmas tree every year.

Caerulea · 30/09/2023 23:00

Honestly think jellycat are worth it but I have a thing against seasonal toys/furnishings/clothes etc because they do always get forgotten about outside that season. Could you perhaps nudge her to something else using that argument?

CareBears48 · 30/09/2023 23:03

There’s a Jellycat tree on Vinted for £21 at the moment. It is the old design (no baubles), but might be a compromise?

SisterMichaelsHabit · 30/09/2023 23:03

Needmorelego · 30/09/2023 22:59

I think there's smaller Christmas ones - try and persuade her with those.

Very good shout. As a way to get buy-in from her, it'll be more portable if it's smaller, so she could take it for visits to relatives, put it in her bag etc.

travelallthetime · 30/09/2023 23:03

It her money!! Apart from vetoing things that are inappropriate or dangerous who are you to tell her how to spend her money. My parents used to do this and at that age I hated them for it

AmyDudley · 30/09/2023 23:07

I was going to say YABU, and to let her buy what she wants - then I saw the price !
I think having seen them there is a fairly high chance of disappointment with the toys (they don't look all that cuddly to me either) and then upset because she has spent all her money on something that hasn't lived up to her expectations.

I would try to find a shop that sells them so she can test them for cuddliness, and also she may see another Jellycat toy in the shop that is a) cuddlier and b) cheaper and that she likes better.

If after all that she is still determined then I would consider it as it is her money, what is it she especially likes about these Jellycats? Is it that she thinks they look very soft? Is is the Christmas theme? or does she collect them and want these as they are special one offs? Maybe if you can narrow down why she wants them so much, you will be able to steer her towards an acceptable substitute.

Dramatic · 30/09/2023 23:10

travelallthetime · 30/09/2023 23:03

It her money!! Apart from vetoing things that are inappropriate or dangerous who are you to tell her how to spend her money. My parents used to do this and at that age I hated them for it

I've got to agree. I remember going to buy a new coat when I was 13, my mam wouldn't let me get a particular brand because she thought it was chavvy, it was a raincoat but she insisted on getting me a different brand, same cost, same type of coat and I remember feeling so angry about it.

If that's what she wants to spend her own money on then let her.

lunar1 · 30/09/2023 23:14

I think it might discourage saving if you have veto over her choice.

hellohelp · 30/09/2023 23:14

I use this website for jellycats

Can you redirect her to choose something from here instead of the actual Jellycat site?

www.temptationgifts.com/gifts-by-brand/jellycat

Nicole1111 · 30/09/2023 23:14

I say let her go for it. It’s her money and she’ll either love it or have learned a valuable lesson about being more cautious with money, which is not a bad lesson to learn.

WereYouListeningToTheDudesStory · 30/09/2023 23:16

We all wanted silly stuff as children! I say let her get it.

hellohelp · 30/09/2023 23:17

What about this one @Redpurplegreenblue

It's the large size (52x17) and is Christmassy

www.temptationgifts.com/jellycat-jolly-gingerbread-fred-huge-jgb1f

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