Was Paul Newman, discuss

DH has bought something for the house without mentioning it to me and I am honestly a bit annoyed.

It was about £40 so its not like he's gone mad or anything but its something we absolutely did not need and I would have rather the money went towards other things tbh.

I only found out because the parcel turned up and when I asked what it was he said he'd ordered it a couple of days ago. I said I wish he'd mentioned it first and he said why, its hardly a big purchase and he doesn't ask me before buying things for himself.

I do see that point but I don't really think its the same when its something for the house? Especially when we've got other things coming up that we need to pay for.

I am not saying he needs to ask permission every time he spends money btw. If he wants to buy himself something with his own money then obviously thats different. But if its coming out of our joint account for something that is basically unnecessary then surely its reasonable to discuss it first?

He thinks I'm being controlling and making an issue out of nothing.

AIBU?

I can't stand the heat. I holiday pretty much only in snowy places, some of which get dark very early. I have not coped well this summer. I also have a heart problem that isn't helped by hot weather. It's making me seriously consider moving to Scotland. My mum and dad, in their 70s, are somewhat open to also making the move with us - we are close emotionally and geographically and they wouldn't want to be away from my daughter.

The problem is this. I have lived within the same 10 miles for the majority of my nearly 40 years of existence (aside from uni, and living in Europe 3 times briefly). We have good friends here, it's a nice area, we have a lovely home. A nice primary school round the corner etc. Good neighbours. Parents round the corner. We both are happy in our work and can work remotely. Nothing is technically 'wrong' aside from how hot the summers are becoming. For example, there were loads of local things I didn't go to/do this summer because it was too hot.

I feel sick at the thought of leaving everything and jumping into the unknown. But part of me doesn't want to live and die within the same 10 miles anyway. I feel like I've exhausted almost everything here. I can't think of anywhere new to go any more and I find that utterly depressing.

My partner and I have always loved Scotland. Always. The nature and the space, the friendly people. So it's not an idea plucked out of thin air. It's been something that I've wondered about on/off for years.

Is it normal to feel so sick at the prospect of making such a big move? If I stay here will I regret not having tried it? Do you think the weather (and writing off 3 months each summer) is reason enough to do this? I can't settle on one idea. Sometimes I just think it's easier to do nothing but everything suggests that hot summers are going to be our new 'normal'.

https://www.dunelm.com/product/emily-metal-bed-frame-1000295082?defaultSkuId=31055771&size=Small+Double+4ft&colour=Cream

Am I being unreasonable to think that the gap between the bars could present a risk to a tween/young teenager, if their head were to become stuck between them? (I haven't measured the width of the gap). Or am I unreasonably stuck in some sort of baby / toddler safe sleeping mode? Tell me if IABU. Teen likes this style.

Call me old fashioned, but isn't this sort of thing likely to provoke a run on toilet rolls? Couldnt find any other threads on it, but I think there is a "preppers" topic on here somewhere. In any case, what do you think? I'm sort of concerned, should I be? Or has this gone under the radar?

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2026/aug/25/uk-to-warn-citizens-to-stock-up-on-food-amid-threat-from-climate-crisis-and-hostile-states

Our 13mo will be going to nursery soon and I'm thinking through what clothes to send her in. Nursery have said waterproof and coat and warmer clothes when needed. In nursery they go on a few trips in the big buggies and play in the garden.

When it was last cold she was obviously a lot smaller and she was in pram suits in pram with a foot muff.

What I'm struggling with is firstly she can't independently stand/walk yet and does a lot of crawling around or pulling to stand with support, so any warm clothes would need to keep legs warm and dry too. And she doesn't have shoes yet as doesn't need but perhaps I buy now?

She's also quite skinny, 8.4kg ish in weight (9th percentile) so trousers don't stay around her waist, she wears tighter leggings but they're obviously quite thin and not suitable for winter.

Any help from those been through this please? Hoping to buy a few bits this weekend so it's sorted. Thanks!

I live in a 4 in a block. I'm top floor and my garden (private) is the one shown on the left of the photo, surrounded by the fence. Neighbour is beneath and the window shown is her bedroom window. Both fences are mine, previous owner paid for them and for them to be erected.

I get on well enough with downstairs neighbour however the issue is that every time I go out to the garden, she comes out and chats, for a good half hour. She's elderly and I get that she just wants to chat, I have no problem with a short chat now and then, but last time I was out there, I had a whole day free when DC was at their dads and so wanted to get cracking on the garden, she came out 5 separate times, 3 times to chat for ages and will sometimes stand watching me from her bedroom window, which is a little awkward.

I'm not sure if it would be unreaonable of me to heighten the fence a little to give me privacy? I don't want to completely block her light, just her view into my garden! I was thinking of popping a trellis on top, so that light still gets through. Maybe pop some climbing flowers on it. The taller fence that can be seen is 6ft tall, i was thinking of matching the trellis height to this. Local planning permission dictates 6ft 6 inches is the limit that you can have fences, so I don't think I would be breaking any local laws. I'm sure she will complain as she's quite fixed on how she thinks things should be, so I'm not sure if it's unreasonable of me to do this?

Women in your 50s+, would appreciate your wisdom. I’ve recently turned 40 and have been thinking about priorities for the next 10 years. I have lots of ambitions and plans (exercise more, get promotion, spend more time with children and husband, start my own business, etc.), but my time/energy is limited. What did you realise in your 50s-60s as being important to focus your energy on in your 40s? Did you miss that promotion that didn’t happen, extra money not earned from corporate job, time not spent with kids, not exercising enough?

for background - I work full time in finance (middle management), very toxic place with a lot of stress of a client facing role, not quite the field or environment I thrive in, but it does pay ok-ish money. I have 4 kids: toddler to teenager, no family around apart from husband who also works a lot.

my dream has always been to run my own company, but I’ve never had time or money to get going, still have a mortgage to pay. I still have aspirations to do it, but it also requires time and effort.

another option is to try and find a different job, though it comes with a risk of a new place being not much better than current one and new issues on top.

what would you really prioritise in this kind of set up? Would you try to put corporate role on back seat or actually put all effort in chasing a promotion? Would you leave corporate and try starting own business? What else?

I've decided to treat myself, but I don't know where to start.

Firstly I don't know what else to call the kind of bag I'm after, hence "status" bag. I like Chanel, LV, which I know some fashionistas like to sneer at, so please, if that's you, respect that we all have different preferences.

I'm looking for a lovely every day bag, that I don't look stupid with on the school run etc. We live rurally, and didn't before, so all my Chanel and LV with chain straps etc would look majorly over done and I'd feel ridiculous wandering round town on casual shop with one. I do sometimes take my neverful but I'd like something much smaller. Slouchy and comfy as opposed to stiff leather.

What's a casual but still "status" bag that I could go for? I don't like massive gold logos etc like the GG Gucci bags, or the ones with big YSLs down the front. I would like it to be recognisable as branded, but from close up, not from across the street if you see what I mean.

Thank you.

ColoringAny is a free resource for printable and online coloring pages, featuring hundreds of designs across categories like animals, anime, cartoons, fantasy, holidays, nature, educational, and mindfulness. All pages can be downloaded as high-quality PDFs or colored directly in the browser — no sign-up or payment required. Perfect for kids, adults, teachers, and parents.

Longtime lurker, first time poster... I've just returned from a lovely week abroad with the boyfriend, while the DCs were staying at their Dad's, or so I thought...
Calls and texts from the police told me otherwise. DD15 told her dad she was on a sleepover elsewhere and threw a "gathering" at my house. Word got out, randoms turned up, stealing precious items and trashing the house and garden. Fortunately a neighbour called the police, who ended the party. DD15 was very drunk, the police and called and texted me (I didn't see this until the morning) and eventually turned up on her dad's doorstep.

It's the classic tale... but I didn't expect this for another few years - DD only just turned 15 last month. She has cleaned up a bit and I paid for a cleaner to come while away, but there is still a lot of damage: broken furniture, lots of broken glass inside and out, indoor plants emptied outside, smashed pictures, stolen jewellery and DS's prized sports medal collection. The house was egged inside and out, lots of unreachable egg on the second floor windows. They found my fire extinguisher and set it off inside the house. It still smells a week on of damp. Packets of lentils emptied throughout, including in the above ground pool.
I feel that I have been drip fed information about this and that it is so much worse than described, I feel violated, angry and deeply upset.

For a little context, I've had a bad month in which our beloved (and very old) family dog died, my car died and I lost my freelance contract, so suddenly find myself without any work, money and no money coming at the month end as I would have to go to court to get it - and it's not worth the stress with this particular client. So I would love some advice as to what to do and also whether IABU to be so devastated by this and so angry.

DD needs consequences. Her dad has already let go of the grounding we agreed to and she was out with her friends already one night this week. So I don't think we will be on the same page.

I'm also just so broken at the moment from the other things that have been going on, that further conflict feels like something I will not welcome!

Would would you do in this situation?

I genuinely don't know what to write or how I'm supposed to react to this.

My wife and I are both in our mid 40s. My best friend is also the same age. He has been my best friend since childhood. He's the godfather to our children, and my wife and I are godparents to his children.

For a bit more context, my wife and he are also very close friends. They actually knew each other before I knew either of them, and they've always had a very good friendship

Our families are extremely close. We normally see each other every week for breakfast or a BBQ in one of our gardens. We go on family trips together, celebrate birthdays and holidays together, and our children are all teenagers and are basically like cousins.

My wife and I have a genuinely good marriage. We've been together for decades, we love each other, we're financially comfortable, and as far as I knew there was absolutely nothing wrong between us.

Then on Friday night, my best friend told me he needed to confess something that had happened a very long time ago.

He told me that when we were 18, during a six month breakup between me and my now wife, he and my wife had a sexual relationship for around 2–3 months.

I honestly felt physically sick when he told me.

I didn't know how to react. I cried. He just stood there and kept telling me that it ended years ago, that nothing had happened since, and that I shouldn't be angry with my wife because we weren't together at the time.

I got angry with him and told him I didn't want him to contact me again. Then I went home.

For context, yes, I broke up with my wife when we were 18. I was an idiot teenager and I broke her heart. That's on me. We were apart for about six months, then eventually got back together. We've been solid ever since.

In all those years, I've never had a reason to believe she was cheating on me. Not once.

Yesterday, I told my wife what he'd confessed. At first she said she had kept it from me because she didn't want to lose me. She apologised for hiding it.

She confirmed that they had been together for around three months while we were broken up. She said they eventually stopped because they realised remaining friends was better for them, and then around three months later, she and I got back together.

But then she also told me that technically it was none of my business who she slept with while we were broken up. It was her body and she was single. If this had been some random person she slept with during those six months, I probably wouldn't care now.

But it wasn't some random person. It was my best friend. The man who stood beside me as my best man at our wedding. I've trusted for most of my life. I've allowed into my home every week. That man who is godfather to my children.

And they've both known about this for 26 years while I had absolutely no idea. That's the part I can't get past. I keep thinking about every BBQ, every family holiday, every time the four of us have sat together talking, and wondering whether they were both looking at each other and remembering something I didn't know. My wife keeps saying that nothing happened during our relationship and that she has loved me all these years. And honestly, I believe her But something has changed in my head. I can't look at my friend the same way anymore. I can't even look at their friendship the same way.

Part of me wants to completely cut him and his family out of our lives. No more breakfasts, no more BBQs, no more holidays together. I don't want my children caught in the middle, but at the same time I don't know how I'm supposed to carry on having him around as if nothing happened.

And then there's my wife. I know technically she didn't cheat on me. We were broken up.
But she deliberately kept this from me for 26 years, and so did he. I'm struggling with the fact that two of the people I trusted most in the world knew something incredibly significant about my own life that I didn't know. I don't know whether I'm overreacting because it happened so long ago, or whether the fact that it was my best friend and was deliberately kept secret makes this completely different.

But right now I feel hurt, betrayed, embarrassed and honestly a bit stupid and Jealousy so much

Need urgent advice please because I don't know what to make of this and I'm incapable of keeping my emotions in! Months ago I found the back of an earring on my bed and confronted DH because I'm sure it wasn't mine, he was very convincing that there was nothing untoward going on. Naive as this may sound I don't think he's the sort that would cheat, I don't see how he'd even have the time for it (he works full time and we have 2 young DC). So I chalked it up to the cleaner/something I'd forgotten that got caught up and moved inadvertently.

This evening I have just found half a fake nail on my upstairs landing and I have no explanation of where it could have come from. I've fully panicked and managed to look through DHs phone. I didn't find anything on WhatsApp, Facebook or text messages.

I do not know what to do. I want to confront him because I'm terrible at hiding my feelings but I assume if anything IS going on he will just play it off again. What should I do? Apologies for the rushed and possibly incoherent message! x

For context, I’m a late 30s millennial. Grew up in Scotland.

Back then, almost nobody had a brand new car. People went abroad once a year if they were lucky. Eating out was very rare, maybe a handfull of times per. Getting a new kitchen was rare as was buying most household items. Kids often got cast off clothes from their siblings. Coffee & wine were basic.

Fast forward to today and it’s unbelievable what I see now.

Almost everybody drives a brand new car

Some of my friends go on multiple holidays per year. One is just back from her 7th trip abroad.

People buy properties and spend six figures immediately renovating them.

People are very fussy with wine. One of my friends only drinks champagne if doing fizz. Another will only drink certain types of Italian red wine.

I have a friend who spent 3K on a coffee machine and he recently asked if the coffee I served him at mine was single source.

Another friend wants me to go on a golfing holiday for a stag do abroad. Basic cost is £3K as it involves a private chef on a boat.

And cheese…. one of my friends only buys cheese from a deli. It’s beautiful but they’re spending a hundred quid plus a month just on cheese.

Some of my friends eat out 2/3 times per week. That was an average in a year for lots of people when I was a kid.

AIBU to question this? I know some of it may be debt but perhaps people’s expectations have risen enormously? Anybody else seeing this type of behaviour.

I usually wear my Docs with a short skirt and tights but would like to wear them with dresses too this autumn/winter - any suggestions as to the best style? If it's relevant, I'm mid 50s and short.

Found the ideal house - modernised Victorian terrace. At the bottom of 30 foot garden the boundary is a roughly 2 story brick wall. It is the back of established business premises and spreads along several houses. There are no windows. How off putting would you find it?

I'd say i'm a girls girl, if you call it that?
Enjoyed the company of men as friends more when younger, but had mainly female pals.
Just been for a dog walk around the neighbourhood with my family and ran into a couple around the corner. Any time we do, this woman just lights up around Dh and chats away (have seen her do this with other male neighbours too)
I've tried hard to be friendly and smiley but she's just not as friendly as with Dh and other men, laughing at his comments (he's not even that funny really 🤣) and chattering away, turning her back on me.
I don't know, maybe she just doesn't like me, which is fine, but she seems to love talking to the men, not women. I realise that sounds bitchy, I don't mean it to be, I just find it a bit annoying especially when we walk off and Dh says 'She's so nice!'
I have a feeling she maybe isn't!

Anyone had this or know what I mean?

In reference to The Most Beautiful Man thread,

Just for balance, I thought we ought to show the women as well...

Gong Li
Zhang Ziyi
Louise Brooks
Cyd Charisse

My DH and I have always left mobiles etc in bag on/under lounger when we go in the pool or sea but I'm travelling for a week with my mum and she thinks this sounds dodgy and that we won't both be able to go in the water together. It's made me wonder if we've been to trusting in the past but I can't see what else you would do? One of those clear pouches round your neck for your phone? I've never seen anyone using one so can I ask what you all do?

Little backstory:

We have two children (4 and 4 months), I breastfeed so wake up with the baby but he’s a good sleeper and usually wakes up once around 4/5am. At the weekend my husband and I take turns having a lie in and getting up with the kids - in my eyes a lie in should be an hour ish so that we can still spend time together and do the morning dog walk

Yesterday I woke up at 6 to feed the baby and then went downstairs with them both around 6:20. Baby’s routine is having first nap on the dog walk 2 (ish) hours after waking. Husband is still asleep at 8:20 so I’m trying to get dressed and get kids sorted without waking him, but am also a bit annoyed as he will be out from 10am all day, so kids won’t see him

He wakes up and quickly gets dressed to come on the dog walk and then is out at the football from 10:30 - 3:30, he then gets home and says he’s popping to the pub as it’s his friends dads birthday. He comes back at about 6 and we do bedtime together - not really relevant but just that he’s not seen the kids much today and he usually does either football or cricket one day a weekend so we only have one family day

My 4 year old hasn’t been very well, very lethargic and doesn’t want to eat. This morning he comes in at 6:20 saying he’s thirsty and wants milk. Husband says we don’t get drinks in the middle of the night and that he can only have water. 4YO is crying more and more as he wants milk (probably hungry after not eating much). The baby then wakes up happily babbling.

I say it’s probably best to just wake up now as it’s usual wake up time anyway and he’s poorly etc. husband is trying to get him back to sleep - he’s not going to go as it’s 6:30 and he’s just getting more upset, so I go into the room and husband starts shooing me away and saying I give in to every little whim (I don’t, I’m usually the one disciplining/carrying out consequences). I said I’ll just wake up with them then. He calls me a martyr and starts telling me to fuck off and that I’m being fucking ridiculous etc. I feel like he just doesn’t want to wake up early with them even after hardly seeing them yesterday

AIBU to say 6:30am isn’t the middle of the night and our ill child should be allowed to have a glass of milk!?

Need ideas for nearly 8 year old girls birthday present. She loved it a couple of weeks ago when I curled her hair with my straighteners. Is 8 too young for a proper curling?

Welcome to Thread 5! 🥳

A huge thank you to @OvaHere and @JoRaRaRa for the previous threads, and to everyone who's been sharing spoilers, links, bargains, discount codes and enabling each other over the first 4 threads. ❤️
As agreed, we're taking it in turns to start each new thread this year. If this thread starts getting close to the reply limit, please post to let everyone know you're happy to start the next one so we can avoid duplicate threads.

🎅 A few festive housekeeping notes;

🎁 This thread contains spoilers.
🎄 Please be kind and respectful to one another.
💸 No judging anyone for their purchasing choices (or how many calendars they buy... we're all enablers here! 😂).
🎀 Feel free to share spoilers, offers, discount codes, GWPs, delivery updates and stock alerts.

🎁 Available Now

Liberty – £285 (Beauty Drop members receive £25 off). Full contents revealed. Beauty Drop member pre order has closed and those advents are being dispatched. The advent will go on general sale soon (BD members still qualify for the discount during the general sale)
www.libertylondon.com/uk/features/beauty/beauty-advent-calendar#
Unboxing

P. Louise – £250. Available to pre-order with payment instalments available.
https://plouise.co.uk/collections/wonderful-world-of-p-louise-advent-calendar/products/what-glows-around-2026-advent-calendar

John Lewis – £250. Available on pre-sale via the app for MyJL members.
https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/

Harrods Beauty Advent Calendar – £270. Now on pre-sale.
https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284475

Harrods 12 Days of Hair & Body – £99. Now on pre-sale.
https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-12-days-of-hair-and-body-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284465

Harrods Fragrance Advent Calendar – £225. Pre-sale currently sold out. Expected back in-store during September (date TBC).
https://beauty-detective.com/harrods-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Vogue Festive Calendar – £355. Available to pre-order
https://shop.vogue.co.uk/products/vogue-festive-calendar-2026

Fortnum & Mason Beauty Advent Calendar - £275. Available now
https://www.fortnumandmason.com/fortnums-beauty-advent-calendar-2026

Fenwick 25 day beauty advent calendar - £250. Available now
https://fenwick.co.uk/products/fenwick-fenwick-beauty-25-day-advent-calendar-2026

Anthropologie 24 Day Beauty Advent Calendar – £98. Available now
https://www.anthropologie.com/en-gb/shop/24-days-of-beauty-advent-calendar5

The Fragrance Shop - Available for pre-order £120 members, £150 non-members
Women's Advent Calendar
https://www.thefragranceshop.co.uk/the-fragrance-shop/the-fragrance-shop/gift-box-advent/p/76306
Men's Advent Calendar https://www.thefragranceshop.co.uk/the-fragrance-shop/the-fragrance-shop/gift-box-advent/p/76307

⏳ Coming Soon / Waitlists
Cult Beauty £245 - £20 gift voucher back when buying at launch 03/09 early access.
https://www.cultbeauty.co.uk/c/advent-calendar/

Harvey Nichols
(website is down currently due to to the company buyout but will return soon) Details TBC.
Beauty:
https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-75896-258491/
Fragrance:
https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-12-days-of-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026-75906-258490/

John Lewis Fragrance £99
https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Space NK £275
https://www.spacenk.com/uk/gifts/beauty-advent-calendars/beauty-advent-calendar-MUK200063764.html
Unboxing video

Elle £197 or £187 if you join waitlist
https://beauty-detective.com/elle-advent-calendar-2026/

Boots launch 01/09 for waitlist then 2/09 for general sale
www.boots.com/christmas/advent-calendars/advent-calendar-waiting-list
Luxe £150
beauty-detective.com/boots-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/
Scent £90
beauty-detective.com/boots-12-days-of-scent-advent-calendar-2026/
Skin £70
beauty-detective.com/boots-24-days-of-skin-advent-calendar-2026/

Sephora UK
Spoilers:
https://beauty-detective.com/sephora-uk-advent-calendar-2026/
Waitlist: https://www.sephora.co.uk/c/beauty-advent-calendar-waitlist

Selfridges
Beauty & Fragrance £250
https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/
Fragrance (lots of price rumours about this one - could be similar to Harrods fragrance or could twice as much)
https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

LookFantastic Beauty
https://www.lookfantastic.com/c/waitlist/advent/?srsltid=AfmBOoovzs9M5Kt8-RM_31Q3-JOa6N51uGggpe0hglvZbxC5Of7AFTH_
LookFantastic Fragrance
https://beauty-detective.com/lookfantastic-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Glossybox
https://beauty-detective.com/glossybox-advent-calendar-2026/

OK! Beauty Box £109
https://beauty-detective.com/ok-beauty-box-advent-calendar-2026/

Next £150
https://beauty-detective.com/next-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/

Debenhams £120
https://www.debenhams.com/pages/beauty-advent-calendar

PURESEOUL £140 (first year they are doing an advent)
beauty-detective.com/pureseoul-advent-calendar-2026/

💄 More Calendars & Spoilers
Rather than making the opening post a mile long, here's a brilliant roundup of lots more advent calendars and the latest spoilers, including Charlotte Tilbury, Jo Malone, Elemis, Lancôme, Tatcha, NEOM, Neal's Yard Remedies, Holland & Barrett, YesStyle and many more as they're announced.

👉 https://beauty-detective.com/category/beauty-advent-calendars/ 👈

🎅 Happy advent season everyone! 🎁
Here's hoping for lots more spoilers, bargains, discount codes, and maybe a little self-control (although that's already gone for some 😄)

I hope I’ve captured everything 🩷

Posting here for traffic. It will be long but don't want to dripfeed / leave out anything that might be relevant.

For background context: DH & I work FT. He has one teenager from a previous relationship and we have 2 preschool aged children together. Stepson is 50/50 between here and his mothers home.

Now the AIBU: Last year SS mum signed him up to a travel sport without discussing with us. Essentially he would have 2 training sessions a week (one on her day, one on ours) and a game / tournament most weeks. These games are minimum 2 hours drive away from our home. Whilst obviously we are happy that he is playing a sport, we couldn't physically get him to the training during our access because of our work schedules and needing to collect other kids from childcare and having to feed everyone etc. For a few weeks his mum collected him from our house and dropped him back but she was always making nasty remarks about how we were lazy and unsupportive. We took him to pretty much every game / tournament which often meant lugging the young kids along or my DH missing out on a full day with them if it was too far. After a few weeks his mum just stopped collecting him during our days. He also missed probably 50% of the training on her days.

There have been half-term and summer camps that stepson has been signed up for and that we have either paid fully for or contributed toward. Out of a total of 9 days, he attended 2 days of the camps (on our time).

This year his mum has signed him up again and the revised training means it is 75% during our access. We live a 30 minute drive from the training grounds. We physically cannot get him to one day of the training (50%) again because we won't be finished work, collected from school and daycare and home to feed everyone before the session starts. My DH told his ex that we cannot take him this day and to facilitate it (because she's being quite nasty again saying we aren't supporting and we are full of obstacles) we could swap days so that the access arrangements all change by 1 day. That would mean that she took him every week on Wednesday (the day we can't do) and we would take him each week Friday. She has denied this and said its unreasonable because she wants Friday evenings with stepson too. That's fair and makes sense but the training sessions go on until 9pm so there's not really much Friday left unless of course she wasn't taking him?

We suggested that we just have that arrangement during the sport season, meaning it's only half the year. That was a no go. We suggested we trial it for a few weeks and see how it works, that was a no go. She has suggested that she will collect stepson and bring him back on the Wednesday. Are we being unreasonable to say that no, that doesn't suit us? Midweek one or both of us are often working late at night and we don't want to have to go to the meeting point at 9.30pm to pick up Stepson.

YABU: Just suck it up and struggle so he can do the sport, even though it's less than ideal for the rest of the family.

YANBU: You have offered solutions and the other parent needs to compromise too.

Clothes accessories cosmetics everything.

My 4yo's dad was arrested today for (drunkenly) threatening someone with a weapon, then threatening police when they turned up. Armed police were involved and it looks like quite a serious incident.

DD usually spends every other Saturday night with him and every Sunday, which I'll immediately stop, even though he doesn't drink with her around. It sounds like he's been on a bender this weekend though, as me and DD are away on holiday with my family. The reason we split is because of his alcoholism (thankfully he wasn't violent or abusive to me or DD, but the drinking always caused chaos - this is extreme though).

I need practical advice on how to handle this with the relevant people. I've emailed social services to ask them for advice on what contact he might be allowed going forwards. Do I tell school about this? She's due to start reception in September.

She does love her dad and likes spending time there, but doesn't really ask much about him outside of that, refuses phone calls and wouldn't get particularly upset if I said her "daddy day" has been cancelled. I don't know what to say about why he can't see her if she asks though, as I don't want her to think he doesn't love her or anything, but telling her that he's in jail feels massively inappropriate. Any tips?

Sorry for ramble, my brain is a flurry of adrenaline as all this has come to light in the last couple of hours.