Was Paul Newman, discuss

I’m not sure if this has already been posted but I noticed today that Ocado have got the M&S Christmas products now available to order.

Has anyone tried tanning gummies? (I’m being targeted on my Facebook feed and keep seeing them)

They apparently just give the skin a slight colour (probably orange).

I wouldn’t mind a slight orange colour- I’m blue white in colour!

I don’t want to take anything dangerous, but from looking on chat gpt they don’t actually affect the melanocytes (like tanning injections and sprays do- I would steer well clear of those!). They just deposit beta carotene pigment into the skin.

DH has bought something for the house without mentioning it to me and I am honestly a bit annoyed.

It was about £40 so its not like he's gone mad or anything but its something we absolutely did not need and I would have rather the money went towards other things tbh.

I only found out because the parcel turned up and when I asked what it was he said he'd ordered it a couple of days ago. I said I wish he'd mentioned it first and he said why, its hardly a big purchase and he doesn't ask me before buying things for himself.

I do see that point but I don't really think its the same when its something for the house? Especially when we've got other things coming up that we need to pay for.

I am not saying he needs to ask permission every time he spends money btw. If he wants to buy himself something with his own money then obviously thats different. But if its coming out of our joint account for something that is basically unnecessary then surely its reasonable to discuss it first?

He thinks I'm being controlling and making an issue out of nothing.

AIBU?

I saw my ex fiance today. First time since December. He had to come.soet out some stuff with the house. I thought i was more over him than I actually was. I thought I'd be able to cope with seeing him then get on with my day.

But I feel like im right back there. I still love him. I still miss him. He still feels like home and once he left home felt so empty and I feel so alone.

The kids have been with their dad for two weeks. Ive only been to the office once due to seeing poorly,so ive basically been on my own for a fortnight now.

An empty house, in the dark and the rain, it just feels so lonely.

How do i get past this? How do i get over him. I havent been seeing him. Contact has been minimal, via email and for practical reasons only. I have a job I love,a hobby that gets me out, lots of friends - thoigh none local, when im not sick I like running and going to the gym. Im fixing up the house to sell so a lot of my time goes to DIY.

Im focusing on the future. Self care, being kind of myself and staying positive but none of those things convince you you're not in love with the man you're in love with.

So give me tips, or distract me. Please. Because im just sitting here with tears streaming down my face and I dont know what else to do.

Anyone want to listen to my mix? Or indeed share their own?

https://www.mixcloud.com/marylye/minor-complications/

Call me old fashioned, but isn't this sort of thing likely to provoke a run on toilet rolls? Couldnt find any other threads on it, but I think there is a "preppers" topic on here somewhere. In any case, what do you think? I'm sort of concerned, should I be? Or has this gone under the radar?

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2026/aug/25/uk-to-warn-citizens-to-stock-up-on-food-amid-threat-from-climate-crisis-and-hostile-states

Posting here for traffic. It will be long but don't want to dripfeed / leave out anything that might be relevant.

For background context: DH & I work FT. He has one teenager from a previous relationship and we have 2 preschool aged children together. Stepson is 50/50 between here and his mothers home.

Now the AIBU: Last year SS mum signed him up to a travel sport without discussing with us. Essentially he would have 2 training sessions a week (one on her day, one on ours) and a game / tournament most weeks. These games are minimum 2 hours drive away from our home. Whilst obviously we are happy that he is playing a sport, we couldn't physically get him to the training during our access because of our work schedules and needing to collect other kids from childcare and having to feed everyone etc. For a few weeks his mum collected him from our house and dropped him back but she was always making nasty remarks about how we were lazy and unsupportive. We took him to pretty much every game / tournament which often meant lugging the young kids along or my DH missing out on a full day with them if it was too far. After a few weeks his mum just stopped collecting him during our days. He also missed probably 50% of the training on her days.

There have been half-term and summer camps that stepson has been signed up for and that we have either paid fully for or contributed toward. Out of a total of 9 days, he attended 2 days of the camps (on our time).

This year his mum has signed him up again and the revised training means it is 75% during our access. We live a 30 minute drive from the training grounds. We physically cannot get him to one day of the training (50%) again because we won't be finished work, collected from school and daycare and home to feed everyone before the session starts. My DH told his ex that we cannot take him this day and to facilitate it (because she's being quite nasty again saying we aren't supporting and we are full of obstacles) we could swap days so that the access arrangements all change by 1 day. That would mean that she took him every week on Wednesday (the day we can't do) and we would take him each week Friday. She has denied this and said its unreasonable because she wants Friday evenings with stepson too. That's fair and makes sense but the training sessions go on until 9pm so there's not really much Friday left unless of course she wasn't taking him?

We suggested that we just have that arrangement during the sport season, meaning it's only half the year. That was a no go. We suggested we trial it for a few weeks and see how it works, that was a no go. She has suggested that she will collect stepson and bring him back on the Wednesday. Are we being unreasonable to say that no, that doesn't suit us? Midweek one or both of us are often working late at night and we don't want to have to go to the meeting point at 9.30pm to pick up Stepson.

YABU: Just suck it up and struggle so he can do the sport, even though it's less than ideal for the rest of the family.

YANBU: You have offered solutions and the other parent needs to compromise too.

I'm currently looking at my wardrobe and what I might want to update it for autumn.

I'm mid50s, 5'7" and size 14.

I'm currently looking at these:

Boots
https://lanxshoes.com/collections/womens-boots/products/edgworth-brown-distressed

Jacket
https://www.marksandspencer.com/faux-leather-harrington-jacket/p/clp61227207?color=SAGE&extid=ps_ps-pla-pmax_ggl_ww_ch__-UK-_-_bau_tier1&cq_src=google_ads&cq_cmp=23464567334&cq_con=&cq_term=&cq_med=pla&cq_plac=&cq_net=x&cq_plt=gp&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23459513439&gclid=CjwKCAjwtKrUBhAhEiwAr77ZouxSW1TOKd2eot-kyFgHD7u41KdbxQwXep71n0a8z0pK0sj6BWAaWRoCJVAQAvD_BwE

And carrot shape jeans.

What have you got your eye on?

My DS is best friends with a couple of boys at school and I’m superficially friendly with the mums. We don’t know each other well but one of the boys has been to ours for a drop off play date a few months ago, and we chat at school events. All fine. The children are 8. My son was invited to this boys birthday (was a small one of just four) but he couldn’t make it that was months and months ago. We weren’t invited back to this boys for a play date after we had him at ours - again no pressure for this as I wasn’t expecting it just painting a picture.

My DS has been really keen to see his friend over the holidays and I know the friend really wanted a play date as well as when I saw the family before school broke up my son’s friend was begging me and his mum for another play date so I’m confident it’s not an issue with the friendship. About a month ago I messaged the mum inviting her son over and she read the message and completely ignored me. I wasn’t expecting an immediate response but isn’t that rude to just point blank ignore an invitation?

I start assuming she doesn’t like me or doesn’t want our children to be friends. My son is well behaved no behavioural problems. AIBU to expect a reply even if it’s to decline the invitation? With school going back soon I’m going to feel self conscious bumping into her now and I know as soon as I see her son he is going to ask to come over to ours again.

I have been trying to grow out my grey with "grey blending" for several years now - the first attempt 3 years ago was a disaster and I lost 12 inches of hair due to over-processing. I'm having another go since the damage has grown out and I'm 9-10 months in, but I feel like it still looks awful.

Bearing in mind the images won't load immediately while they're waiting for approval, the first two are what I was looking for; the others are my actual hair which is 3 sessions of "grey blending" using high lift, not bleach, approx 10 months after I last had it dyed one colour at a salon. At the last scheduled session 3 months ago I mentioned that I hadn't actually wanted to go lighter all over to disguise the grey (I only have grey at the front and temples, very little anywhere else), I had just wanted to smudge the line as it grew out but otherwise stay dark throughout the rest. I also asked if there was a way to tone down or break up the warm ends. They seemed very sceptical, said a toner to get rid of the yellow/copper tones wouldn't work and there was no point putting any darker sections back in (?), so this is what I'm left with.

I accept that there will be warmth where there was previously salon dye. What I wasn't expecting, was for the rest of my hair to be light - so now I have the opposite problem (dark roots and gold ends) on the rest of my head. How do I ask a stylist to break up the warmth at the ends with some cool/neutral browns but preserve the grown out grey? Without it going wrong again? Surely there's something I can do to get closer to what I wanted, without cutting it all off again?

In reference to The Most Beautiful Man thread,

Just for balance, I thought we ought to show the women as well...

Gong Li
Zhang Ziyi
Louise Brooks
Cyd Charisse

does anybody know how I can find out if the fence on my property is all mine ( as not sure) or shared I know if it's one T it's mine and two. TTs is shared as not quite sure where to look or search as can't find it in my house papers. thanks

https://www.dunelm.com/product/emily-metal-bed-frame-1000295082?defaultSkuId=31055771&size=Small+Double+4ft&colour=Cream

Am I being unreasonable to think that the gap between the bars could present a risk to a tween/young teenager, if their head were to become stuck between them? (I haven't measured the width of the gap). Or am I unreasonably stuck in some sort of baby / toddler safe sleeping mode? Tell me if IABU. Teen likes this style.

Need urgent advice please because I don't know what to make of this and I'm incapable of keeping my emotions in! Months ago I found the back of an earring on my bed and confronted DH because I'm sure it wasn't mine, he was very convincing that there was nothing untoward going on. Naive as this may sound I don't think he's the sort that would cheat, I don't see how he'd even have the time for it (he works full time and we have 2 young DC). So I chalked it up to the cleaner/something I'd forgotten that got caught up and moved inadvertently.

This evening I have just found half a fake nail on my upstairs landing and I have no explanation of where it could have come from. I've fully panicked and managed to look through DHs phone. I didn't find anything on WhatsApp, Facebook or text messages.

I do not know what to do. I want to confront him because I'm terrible at hiding my feelings but I assume if anything IS going on he will just play it off again. What should I do? Apologies for the rushed and possibly incoherent message! x

I've decided to treat myself, but I don't know where to start.

Firstly I don't know what else to call the kind of bag I'm after, hence "status" bag. I like Chanel, LV, which I know some fashionistas like to sneer at, so please, if that's you, respect that we all have different preferences.

I'm looking for a lovely every day bag, that I don't look stupid with on the school run etc. We live rurally, and didn't before, so all my Chanel and LV with chain straps etc would look majorly over done and I'd feel ridiculous wandering round town on casual shop with one. I do sometimes take my neverful but I'd like something much smaller. Slouchy and comfy as opposed to stiff leather.

What's a casual but still "status" bag that I could go for? I don't like massive gold logos etc like the GG Gucci bags, or the ones with big YSLs down the front. I would like it to be recognisable as branded, but from close up, not from across the street if you see what I mean.

Thank you.

I'd say i'm a girls girl, if you call it that?
Enjoyed the company of men as friends more when younger, but had mainly female pals.
Just been for a dog walk around the neighbourhood with my family and ran into a couple around the corner. Any time we do, this woman just lights up around Dh and chats away (have seen her do this with other male neighbours too)
I've tried hard to be friendly and smiley but she's just not as friendly as with Dh and other men, laughing at his comments (he's not even that funny really 🤣) and chattering away, turning her back on me.
I don't know, maybe she just doesn't like me, which is fine, but she seems to love talking to the men, not women. I realise that sounds bitchy, I don't mean it to be, I just find it a bit annoying especially when we walk off and Dh says 'She's so nice!'
I have a feeling she maybe isn't!

Anyone had this or know what I mean?

Summer is nearly over thank god and despite trying we’ve spent an absolute fortune. Free things never actually are, there’s always a catch. I got fooled by a kids eat for £1 the other day and it still cost £40 for two adult meals and an hour in a tiny soft play my eldest was bored with after ten minutes.

Has anybody managed not to haemorrhage money? Have had some subtle criticisms from DH and I’m tired of it.

I feel really hurt by a comment made by my partners sibling at a recent family gathering. I’ve recently had a baby, less than 6 months ago and partners sibling has just had theirs, they are both our first babies. We met to meet the baby. They said the baby’s full name and one of the names i hadn’t ever heard so I asked “what does that name mean” and the sibling replied “better than your baby” but saying my baby’s name so for example “better than Charlie”. Not the name, as in the name meaning means their child is better than our child, or that’s how I’ve taken it. I was a little stunned and there was an awkward silence. I was expecting my partner to say something to the sibling but they didn’t. I made a half laugh and the conversation moved on. I just feel quite upset now and like there will be an instant rivalry between the two babies who are cousins growing up. Maybe it’s hormones, so I need to know if I am being unreasonable or what I can do to stop this from becoming a thing or if I’ve taken the comment wrongly and they did mean the name is better than our babies name.

For context, I’m a late 30s millennial. Grew up in Scotland.

Back then, almost nobody had a brand new car. People went abroad once a year if they were lucky. Eating out was very rare, maybe a handfull of times per. Getting a new kitchen was rare as was buying most household items. Kids often got cast off clothes from their siblings. Coffee & wine were basic.

Fast forward to today and it’s unbelievable what I see now.

Almost everybody drives a brand new car

Some of my friends go on multiple holidays per year. One is just back from her 7th trip abroad.

People buy properties and spend six figures immediately renovating them.

People are very fussy with wine. One of my friends only drinks champagne if doing fizz. Another will only drink certain types of Italian red wine.

I have a friend who spent 3K on a coffee machine and he recently asked if the coffee I served him at mine was single source.

Another friend wants me to go on a golfing holiday for a stag do abroad. Basic cost is £3K as it involves a private chef on a boat.

And cheese…. one of my friends only buys cheese from a deli. It’s beautiful but they’re spending a hundred quid plus a month just on cheese.

Some of my friends eat out 2/3 times per week. That was an average in a year for lots of people when I was a kid.

AIBU to question this? I know some of it may be debt but perhaps people’s expectations have risen enormously? Anybody else seeing this type of behaviour.

Be it Vinted, EBay or charity shops.

What brands were or are known for quality in design and materials like wool and silk?

I was a big fan of old boarding school stories in my 90's childhood, but I guess the Trebizon series was too modern because I missed them, and am just catching up with them now.

I'm currently reading "Boy Trouble at Trebizon" (first published 1980) and aside from annoyance at the titular boys (Mallory Towers never had these problems...) I am mostly just agog at Rebecca's party outfit. I need some help to make sure I'm picturing it properly.

"It was a long dark green skirt and pale green shirt and matching dark green waistcoat to go over it. Rebecca tried the outfit on and could have cried because it looked so beautiful". To this ensemble she adds a "silk tie".

Everyone loves it. Robbie is rendered inarticulate by it ("You look...you look good"). Another friend brands it "stunning". I also think it sounds fabulous, but I need to know, in 1980:

1. is the silk tie likely to be an actual neck tie, like a school or man's tie?
2. what fabric/finish would the skirt, waistcoat and shirt have?

In my mind's eye the waistcoat has green embroidered patterns and the tie is a typical necktie, and Rebecca's party outfit is what I would wear for a business meeting with the King of the Elves. Those who remember 80s teen fashion in the UK, am I right?

or wedding dresses, are too long. And I think that a shirt dress might be too formal.

I also want cotton or linen. And not fussy or masses of material. Something simple.

Budget up to £75 probably. I’m 5 foot 4 and am size 14 on top and size 10 on the bottom.

I have white flowy cotton skirts so maybe should go for a fitted top?

Hello

I am loyal to Jo Malone Lime Basil & Mandarin for summer.

For winter, I've used Coco Chanel but wonder if it's a bit too heavy/80s.

I've also used Coco Mademoiselle and Miss Dior and like them but wonder if they're a bit young for me now.

I HATE AND LOATHE CHANEL NO5!

I would like something clean and sophisticated rather than too young/old or sexy.

Any thoughts welcome! Thanks.

Clothes accessories cosmetics everything.