Staff reaction to unwell elderly woman at supermarket till

[Ketley67]

I was in a supermarket , at the till. There was an elderly couple in front of me. The man was dressed smartly, the lady looked awful, she had greasy hair which stuck to her head, ulcers on her legs, she was hunched over the trolley using it to hold herself up and she smelt absolutely awful, very strongly of urine and body odour.

As soon as they’d been served and walked away a member of staff appeared and sprayed room spray all around where they’d been standing, he pulled a disgusted face as did the lady on the till who then turned to me and laughed. I didn’t react.

I just felt awful for that lady. I’m recently disabled myself and I can easily see how without the correct support you can end up like this. You are so vulnerable. The staff members were relatively young, probably not had enough life experience to see anything other than a smelly woman.

Just wanted to share really, it made me so sad.

😢 I'm recently disabled too. I had a stroke. Lots of issues, but fortunately I'm able to shower & wash my hair by myself & do my laundry.

very fortunate not to have lost bladder or bowel control (but it's 'immediate need' now, not 'can wait') .

People really don't believe it when they're told it could be them tomorrow. Hopefully with a bit more luge experience, they'll get a bit more compassion.

I would report it, I think. Perhaps their manager can train them to have a little bit of respect and compassion.

Report It. It’s terrible. Agism and heartlessness. They’ve no idea at all that one day they will be elderly, it’s absurd how myopic people can be.

By not reacting or anything you are nearly as complicit.

Sorry to derail the OP, but just wanted to ask if, following your stroke and 'lots of issues', you have been put on Metformin? I was, after a diabetic diagnosis, and it was horrendous with spontaneous diarrhea, even on the slow release version. I cut down the meds to 25%, and along with improved diet, back to 'normal' levels, and no more shitting everywhere! Sorry TMI 😞

And yes, those staff members need to be reminded that could be their family members, or themselves, one day!

I agree. The fact that people don’t react is one of the reasons people think they can get away with behaving like that. It should be called out.

I would contact the supermarket and suggest the staff need more customer service training.

What should I have said? I’m not very good at being out spoken at the best of times but I’m feeling very wobbly out and about at the moment as I’m in recovery from major surgery so I was just focussed on myself really.

I think it sounds like neglect . Why can’t her husband help with her personal hygiene needs . No caring partner would leave his other half this .

This. I can't conceive of being in good enough health to get myself "smartly dressed" and to the shops, and leave my partner unwashed and soaking in their own urine.
The shop staff didn't behave well, but the real issue for that poor woman is her husband/partner.

what so they’re not allowed to react to a terrible smell? you want them trained out of that? and what’s the problem with spraying air freshener after she’d gone? you can follow her out of the shop and offer her help if you wish? I don’t agree you’re “complicit” tho @Callmeback🤦🏽‍♀️

This. I would have said something. It is not okay what happened there.

I would contact the supermarket. If you don’t feel comfortable just do it anonymously. Odiferous customers are probably a daily hazard but there are discreet ways of off setting the smell can be used without cruel looks and trying to be complicit with customers. Their cards need to be marked. They are there to work, not to mock the vulnerable.

I don’t think they should have reacted no. It felt juvenile, my kids know better than to a pull a funny and laugh behind someone’s back.

It’s not your job to face off with staff members behaving like childish arseholes - some of us do have the sheer brass neck to do so, some don’t - don’t feel bad about not wanting to say something at the exact time.

What you DO need to do is speak to the branch manager or email their customer services team - it’ll help if you have a receipt so you can give exact time/till etc. It’s their job to deal with their staff members behaving so badly not yours.

I think it's very poor of shop staff to pass comment on any customer to another customer to be honest.
I don't want to think that till staff might be critiquing me on any aspect of my being to the next person in the line, whatever it's about. Therefore, I don't want to hear it about others.

Hopefully they weren't aware.

But I would be horrified at the husband in this scenario.

I did think that initially but then we don’t know do we, maybe he tries and she refuses his help.

There's reaction and then there is mocking.

You've got NO idea of the situation. He might not even be a relative. My neighbour was in a pretty poor state and often smelly. She wouldn't let me (or social services) through the front door so there was no chance of convincing her to take a bath - but I did occasionally take her to appointments or shopping because I'm nice and she didn't have anyone else. I didn't enjoy it, but I felt sorry for her.

Years ago, I was in Hobbycraft, and a couple were shopping in there who both had very strong body odour. Both had greasy hair and dirty clothing.
They left a very strong smell wherever they went, and after they were served and left, the cashier did get some air freshener and sprayed it by the tills. No mocking or sneering though.

I think the difference is the laughing etc. There is no need for it.

I would definitely have said something if the staff had started spraying air freshener stuff near me! I'm allergic to perfume and would have become ill myself, if they'd pulled that stunt.

How do you know he's her husband?

Yes exactly. A discreet spray of air freshener after they've left the store is one thing. Pulling faces and inviting other customers to join in the joke is another thing altogether.

I think I'd have said something, though I'm not sure what. Probably something along the lines of that's a human being, you don't know her circumstances, how would you like it if people were mocking you for something you can't help.

Edited to add that I don't however think OP was complicit, unless she was joining in, which she clearly wasn't.

The laughter was horrible and unnecessary but the air freshner sounds like it was needed.