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Seriously thinking about asking to be demoted, please help ...

26 replies

rookiemater · 02/02/2009 08:39

I have worked at a large organisation for a number of years. I am at a reasonably senior management grade, I manage staff and am responsible for planning in our own area. I believe that I have done a pretty good job, prior to DS (aged almost 3) I was a lot more committed and able to do extra hours, since returning after mat leave I have worked 4 days a week and had better than average performance appraisals.

About 18 months ago DH and I started TTC for no 2. My periods started getting horrendous, nothing happened on the TTC front and cut long story short ended up having a laparoscopy in November which diagnosed severe endometriosis. I am now on heavy duty injection hormones to induce menopause which have made me feel exhausted, depressed and somewhat paranoid. Apparently the alternative is a full hysterectomy, whatever happens its unlikely to be fully better until I reach the menopause, so there is something to look forward to !
The plan is to come off them at some stage for a one off chance to TTC but I'm very scared because the pain has started to come back. I'm 39 so there isn't a huge window of opportunity and it's all freaking me out.

Anyway added to the mix my reporting line changed round about the time this all started happening and I now have a male boss. He has been extremely understanding during the initial phase, but I am struggling to explain my ongoing issues to him, plus he has a view of me as being introverted and lacking in confidence which I believe is primarily down to the drugs I'm on. I don't have the energy to try to perform at the level I think he wants me to and with all that is going on I am struggling to cope with the ongoing trials and tribulations of managing my team.

I think it would help me a lot to reduce to 3 days a week, but also to take some of the stress away to go down a grade so I don't have management responsibilities any more. In the long term I have probably plateaued with my career and whilst it is important for our family that I bring in some income, we can live on a lot less than what I currently earn + Dhs income.

Do you think this seems sensible ? I have no idea how to approach it as I know I will burst into tears if I try to discuss with my manager.

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PerArduaAdNauseum · 06/02/2009 20:43

Oh fantastic! He's not a twat and you're getting the responses you need!

Well done you!

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