Help me reschedule an imporant appointment

[ditheringdora]

I have a meeting with a Director over an employment issue. I got a letter from him suggesting that we meet in 3 weeks time on a Friday in the afternoon at a location that's 4 away by public transport.
Not normally a problem but I am away the night before for work and will be exhausted anyway, never mind 8 hours travel .
I want to tell him but can't find the words to put in nicely that

1. Can't make that appointment due to work commitments and that is it possible that our new appointment-
2. Could it not be on a Friday, when public transport is packed (only way our co allows us to travel for co meetings) and I won't have a seat for all that time (will be 20 wks pg then - fingers crossed, but I haven't told work yet)
3. That if I have an afternoon appointment again at 2, I have to leave at 4 to make the train home.

Thing is, I don't want him to reschedule again for me to say, Ok but I have to leave by etc etc. Please tactful ladies of MN, help me find the words to put this nicely, have been chewing my pen for an hour... I have to respond in writing today.

Can you give us a clue about the subject of the meeting? If it's something very important, you may have to just go and make the best of it. Though pretty horrible to have to do an 8 hour round trip - doesn't seem a very good use of your time.

But I do think it's reasonable to say "my return train leaves at xxx, will that give us enough time for the meeting?". If you book the train now, you should get a reserved seat, I would have thought - or throw yourself on the mercy of other passengers and beg for one!

yeah, no problem,I'm appealing a decision made by them. Can't go into more detail unfortunately.
head is all over the place, so trying to work things out logistically. you are very tactful! thanks snickers

Fair enough - I think in that case you probably can't ask to change the date without making things more difficult in the long run - sets the wrong tone from the outset. Also, talk to your train company (are you getting the train? I assume so, if it was a bus you'd be having a seat anyway). I read somewhere on MN the other day that if you're pregnant and all the seats are taken in standard class you can upgrade for free to first class...maybe that was just season ticket holders, worth a go.

I am amazed they think that asking anyone to travel that far under any circumstances is a good idea - think of the travel costs and lost productivity! Can you suggest a call or video conference? Or, possibly, call the Director's PA and say "Of course I can do xx date but I was wondering if there was a time he/she will be in [your location] in the next few weeks anyway as that would save on travel costs and mean I don't have a day out of the office"

I think your best bet is to change the date on the basis of the location being more convenient, rather than mentioning the public transport/Friday thing. Although I see that is a pain for you.

how about

"Thank you for your proposed meeting date. Unfortunately due to work commitments I am unable to make this date, would any of the following (give choice of 3) be acceptable / concenient? I look forawrd to hearing from you."

and leave it at that

I have to say I'm all for laying your cards on the table and i'd be most inclined to tell it how it is. By the sounds of it you would have already replied by now, but here is what I would have written without any hesitation:

Thank you for arranging to meet with me at on at _. However, unfortunately a number of issues mean that this appointment would be difficult for me, and I would like to request that we reschedule this on an alternative, as soon as possible. To explain further, I will be 20 weeks pregnant by this date, and find that public transport on Fridays is particularly busy and I am rarely lucky enough to get a seat. MY journey to the meeting will be 8 hours, which would not usually be a problem in different circumstances, but with my pregnancy, and compounded by the fact that I am scheduled to be away with work the night before, this will make me rather exhausted for our meeting.

With this in mind I sincerely hope that it wouldn't be too much of an inconvenience to reschedule for any Monday-Thursday, preferably with a meeting end before 4pm so that I am able to make my train home comfortably.