How to detach from work

[Crazybooklady]

I don’t have a stressful job but it’s very mentally draining. I’ve become the people pleasing problem solver in my team & my manager & everyone else is relying too heavily on me. I know I need to set some new strong boundaries & I intend to start next week. But I struggle to switch off from my thoughts about work when I’m off. I’ve had a week off this week & haven’t been able to relax properly. I go for walks in the evenings & watch shows on my phone on my commute home but I still find it difficult to switch off from work, my mind keeps wandering back. How do people mentally detach?

Are you a teacher?

Don’t know OP. I’ve been off ill for 2 weeks with covid but I think stress has made it worse. The thought of work brings tears to my eyes: the job is relentless, the targets are unachievable and pulled from thin air, we are not resourced to meet them, and the job isn’t secure, so I feel I have my team’s futures in my hands. The weight and injustice of it all has been crushing me ever since I came back from mat leave 18 months ago.

I read a post on here from a woman whose job is resuscitating children. My job isn’t life or death, but I seem to be coping worse than her!

I desperately want to be more resilient but I’m prioritising, being pragmatic, eating healthily, meditating, walking and taking on nothing extra outside work … and I’m still a wreck.

No, I’m not a teacher. I have a dh & kids but I’ve always been this way. If something is stressful to me it’s all I can think about. I wish I was a calm laid back person. I do find the walking helps a little. I would like to be able to meditate but I find it difficult. They say the harder you find meditation the more you need to do it. Hope you feel better soon EveningSpread.

When my brain is stuck in a loop about something that's worrying me, I try to give it something different (and less worrying) to loop about. That is usually more effective than trying to stop it looping completely.

Similarly on the people pleasing - small assertive steps are more likely to be achievable and sustainable than dramatic changes. If people initially act affronted because they're so used to stepping on the doormat version of you, don't take it personally.