Management role to school hours term time only?

[Crossrds]

Hi all,

Bit of background - I currently work as a manager in the NHS at a local hospital. I work 32 hours a week over 4 days and often don't get home until 6/7pm on an evening. Since going back to work after DS was born, I've got flexitime so I don't start till 10am and I'm able to do school drop off. DH does school pick up so we're not having to rely on childcare during term time, as we've got no family nearby to help. Family can help with childcare during the holidays on the weeks we can't manage. Our marriage hasn't been great for around the last 18 months. We rarely get any proper family time together and we are both stressed as DH has recently been promoted and is struggling to manage his workload having to finish for 3pm to get to school. He is having to turn down overtime most days (paid at time and a half) so he can do school pick up.

I have been stressed out with work for the past 2 years. Things are getting more pressured and I'm getting less time for management tasks. Its a very toxic and negative work environment. I enjoy the actual job but I don't feel like I'm thriving in management. I've given myself 2 years to settle into the role and things seem to be getting harder not easier. I've asked for help and support but nothing changes. I miss being present after school and DH finds this stressful. He would rather be at work longer and I would rather be at home.

I've been offered a new job in a new sector. It's term time only 10-2pm and seems like a great company. Its not a management role and would mean I get to spend more time with DS and DD and be present. It would also get me out of a toxic work environment as its really taking a toll on my mental health. DH could do the overtime and I feel like it would be better for our family dynamic. As long as DH keeps being offered overtime (he has had consistent overtime offers for the past 3 years) then we could manage financially.

The only thing I'm worried about is taking a step backwards and taking a big cut in pay. Youngest DS is nearly 6 and oldest DD is 12 and I'm very aware that term time will only be a benefit for the next couple of years. There is the option for more hours and increased responsibility and a pay uplift with the new role in future. I've been in my current job 8 years and I'm worried about the change. I've worked my way up and I'm not sure it's the right thing to do.

Has anyone taken a pay cut and stepped down and been happier or regretted it?

I don’t think you should do it. It puts a lot of pressure on your husband to need to be both offered overtime and also physically and mentally cope with doing it. That is not fair on him and means it just doesn’t work for you as a family.

Also, I think you will regret taking a step back. As you say you are almost through the childcare years.

If your marriage hasn't been great recently, you need to protect yourself financially in case of a future split. Find a way to keep your current job.

Don’t do it. Put the kids in after school club for an hour- they will be fine

What other benefits will you be giving up such as sick pay and pension? I think you need to consider the whole package.

As you say, you only need this flexibility for a few years and who knows what the job market will be like in a few years time.
Are you clinical in the NHS, because if you’re a clinical manager it’s often easier to get back in

Ordinarily I'd say take the term time job and enjoy your time with the DC. However, after reading what you've said about your relationship I'd hesitate. Unless you could have a very frank conversation with your DH and feel confident he'd step up and take on extra work to enhance his income. Do you think your relationship would improve?

I’d stay in your current job and put your youngest in after school club so your husband isn’t having to pick them up. Can’t the oldest get home under their own steam?

What about if you changed back to 5 days a week in your current job. That way you wouldn’t be working such long hours on your 4 days and it might be less stressful. Or can you put in a flexible working request to reduce your hours, even 4 normal days would give you a bit more breathing space.

I would be very reluctant to give up a well paid position if your marriage isn’t stable and you’re relying on DH to work overtime to make up the difference.

A term time contract with those hours is presumably going to pay very little? This could leave you feeling really stuck if your marriage is not good.

I wouldn’t do this - it would be a backwards step in terms of career and finances for you- not just salary but also pension.

For the younger child I’d use a childminder or after school club and get the 12yo to get themselves home - unless has SN/ some reason this isn’t a safe option.

it seems you’re making all the compromises here when childcare is a shared responsibility

If your children were younger, I’d say maybe. But I think it would be much more sensible to stay where you are and consider sideways moves you could make in future to something less stressful.