Switching off from work

[Blushingm]

How do you switch off

I find it so difficult. I’m co stanly thinking about what I need to do. What I need to say. How others perceive me. How everything is my responsibility.

i can’t sleep

If you're not working today you are literally allowing your job to steal all your time when you're not there. If you are working today you need to find ways to stop it invading your every waking moment. I realised this the hard way when being the same made me ill.

Do you own the company?
Is it life or death?
Or are you just part of a supply chain of stuff?

I've spent far too much of my working life worrying about other people's firms and refuse to do it now.

Your health and family will suffer.

I used gin and tonic on arrival through the door... so am probably not the best person to ask 😉

I’m not working today

Im a district nursing sister with what feels like a million tonnes on my shoulders

Healthcare must be harder to switch off from then generic "work". Is there a handover system for when you are not working?

Teacher here and I've been off work for a month after this approach has made me seriously ill. I have no answers but I'd love to know!

Big old glass of wine.

I tried a wine box - result was not good 😂

I have a new deputy and a part time deputy…….but I feel like I shoulder all the responsibility and pressure.

i feel like I’m failing

Who is "above" you. A problem shared is a problem halved

I have a new band 8a - she’s risen from a 7 doing my job in another team

All I get is ‘you’re doing a fab job’ ‘I’ve been there it will get better’. We are short staffed and my caseload is complex but also in a very deprived area with lots of social deprivation and issues that go along with their health problems.

My team have made a mistake that I have to present in panel - we have addressed it within the team, I’ve arranged further training too but I just dont know how to move on and stop ruminating and feeling like I’m failing

I know very well that this isn't going to help your current situation and the incredible pressure you're under but I just wanted to say that without the wonderful district nurses who attended my Dad in the last few months of his life last year his quality of life would have been very different and he would have been hospitalised for longer. They were some of the most caring people I ever met, which is also probably why you feel this more, from what I've seen its a vocation as well as a job and with all the extra responsibility you have piled on as a sister I can't imagine how hard it must be; but your own health is also so important, so I hope that things get better for you x

Ah I’m so glad your family (and Dad) felt the DNs were helpful. Your words brought a tear to my cheek. I so desperately want to get things right

Set aside a half hour slot to worry in the evening. If you start to worry at other times, tell yourself it isn't worry-time yet.
This approach was given to me in CBT, might work!

I find that brain dumping before I finish for the day/weekend/leave helps because then the “to do” list doesn’t get stuck in a loop in my head. So I write down everything before I go. It really helps.

If you have access to work systems on your phone delete those apps. Temptation doesn’t help. I delete mine off and download them again when I need them (eg when I’m travelling for work).

You need to remind yourself that you are not paid to think about work when you're not there. Your work self and you as a person are two different people, and your work responsibilities need to be kept separate from your personal life.

They really did make all the difference. And you will, but remember you are only human too 🤗

I wish I knew the answer, but I can say it’s not alcohol! I wfh a lot so my computer being there all weekend doesn’t help. I have to just consciously put it out of my mind

I know it sounds daft, but I keep a notebook and a pen on the kitchen table. When work thoughts drop in my head I'll write them down and relegate them to tomorrow!

The thing is, you can do everything right, and to the best of your ability and there will still be difficult situations, bad outcomes and people simply not happy. You holding on to work when you’re not there actively undermines your ability to do your work well when you are there, so it’s counterproductive.

Have an end of working day routine to switch off your body and brain. For me it’s been driving home with loud music, changing clothes at the end of the day, walking the dog - anything that you use to consistently mark the end of the day. Then don’t pick it up again, no work emails, no just checking, no out of hours work chat with colleagues.

You’ll need to be strict with yourself, and distract yourself but the whole healthcare system doesn’t rest on your shoulders, you need to rest.

This sounds like overwhelm due to stress and workload. It's a natural psychological response. Be cautious about burnout.

Have you tried meditation, yoga or breatheork? If you could do 20 minutes after work it would potentially really help. Or a walk after every shift. Journal your fears at the end of a shift.

Ignore people telling you to drink - a bad idea.

Have you let your manager know how you are feeling, she thinks you’re doing a great job and may be totally unaware you are just holding it together. I was a band 8 in the NHS until retiring a couple of years ago and put on such a good performance of coping until things fell apart due to a whole host of work related issues and I ended up being signed off with stress. Don’t let things escalate further you are not failing by asking for support when you need it

I’ve tried to tell. I even told her think she had picked the wrong person for my role as it all feels like it’s going wrong

I did try RCS - got as far as they’re registrants and I can’t control their actions and I need to understand I can’t control everything and everyone. That I need to start delegating and trusting others

Oodles of love and empathy heading your way. I’m not sure anybody ever switches off from nursing. I would strongly advise you to see your GP and maybe take some time out. Burnout in nursing is a real thing and despite you professionalism, you must remember that you are totally replaceable. No amount of management patronising platitudes are going to help your situation. The bottom line is, it’s your pin number, not theirs x

@Blushingm , you’ve probably got some imposter syndrome going on there which many of us are guilty of as well , I think the more competent and conscientious you are the more you worry, I know you are band 7 but is there any way you could ask for a workplace mentor/ buddy for a while. I wasn’t a nurse but an AHP manager and fully understand the fear of making a mistake which is more likely to happen when you are stressed. It sounds like your manager is trying to reassure you and may not actually realise how you are struggling so put it in writing and ask for a referral to occupational health, would also recommend the usual yoga or any other relaxation techniques you find helpful. I didn’t take my own advice and ended up very unwell