Deciding To Go Full Time

[Ivybank]

Hello Hive Mind,
I'm after fellow workings mums experiences, it's a bit of a long one so bare with me. After my eldest was born 8 years ago I made the decision to go back to work part-time, with my husband working off shore (away two weeks at a time) this felt manageable. When DS 2 came along nearly 3 years ago again I went back part time.
Now here is the thing, for the last nearly 2 years I've been pretty miserable in my work but have really struggled to even make it to the interview stage for part time proffesional jobs (at the same level, a step up or a step down). Some of the response I have had have said they have recicevd over 200 applicants for an individual role!
This summer after no interviews I decided to apply for full time roles as well and have had a few interviews. Yesterday I interviewed for a job that sounds amazing and would be a step up, ten minutes after the interview I got a phone call offering me the job!
I'm obviously delighted but the reality of returning full-time is scaring the shit out of me. My husband said to say yes and we would figure it out, but I'm really struggling with the idea of working full-time, it was never the plan.
I'm going to say yes to the role on Monday but I'm after some advice and reassurance from you full-time working mamas about how you cope. In all honesty I'm feeling really scared that I'm not going to be able to give 100% to the role and 100% to my kids!

Do you have childcare sorted? Family help? Lots of people do it so it’s totally manageable! Is your DH away then home for 2 weeks? So available to support half the time?

I've just gone from 0.9 FTE over 4 days to full-time because in reality I was doing it anyway. Most weeks I'm still managing to keep my "day off" but I do a fair amount of evening and weekend work to keep on top of it. I am able to manage my own diary.

The huge benefits of working FT, or close, have been that we can afford to outsource all the stuff I don't want to do meaning weekends are much more chilled. We have a weekly cleaner, monthly window cleaner, fortnightly gardner March - October. We have a milk, juice and eggs delivery from a local farm twice a week so we never run out of milk(!). We could online shop but DP prefers doing it at Aldi. I have never cleaned my oven myself 🫣

Will you be FT out of the house or is there scope for some hybrid/WFH as that makes a difference IMO. I chop veg for dinner while the kettle is boiling or grab something out of the freezer to defrost and can hang a load of washing out on my WFH days which again helps the weekend feel more relaxing.

I will need to try and source wrap-around childcare for when my husband isn't here but I'm not sure what the best option is, but could getaway with granny coming to stay in the short term (short term only option).
I'm hoping their promise of hybrid works (I'm a little bit worried that they are saying what I want to hear to get me in).
Outsourcing is what I'm thinking as even with the additional childcare we are going to be £1k a better off a month if I take this role!

Sorry should have said, I honestly think its ok and we get no family help. DP only does 4 days pw though, including Saturday, so that reduces our childcare needs and means there are days we can take them to clubs or playdates after school.

I have 2 DC 6 and 8. Went back FT after DC1 then did 3 months of 0.6 3 days pw after DC2 before moving to 0.9 FTE 4 days a week when DC2 was 1 year old then tbe move to "proper" FT this summer.

With alwraparound childcare and a cleaner who also irons and changes beds, you’ll be fine. Congratulations!

It will be an adjustment but you’ll manage- we both work full time with long (1-2hrs each way) commutes, travel abroad for work and no family support. Children are 9 and 7 and have always worked full time bar mat leave. Hybrid and the ability to work from home post Covid is what has saved us! I don’t know how we’d have ever managed before working from home became more widely acceptable. Not having a commute some days and being able to drop kids off at school is invaluable, I am still back home working by 9am. Get this in your contract from beginning if it’s 2-3 days onsite for example and the rest wfh.

Make sure you split childcare across school holidays, kids sick days etc fairly. I appreciate that’s not possible when your husband is away but don’t let one job be the flexible one so that your employer gets fed up.

Life is very busy and it’s not easy but it’s definitely possible and you’ll appreciate the extra money! We still manage after school activities as well so don’t feel the children miss out on hobbies.

If you can outsource cleaning etc then great. We don’t but clean as we go, quick blitz when kettle is boiling, dinner is cooking, hang washing while kids are in shower or getting ready for bed etc. Multi tasking is the key here. I am a big fan of cooking double portions and having one less thing to
worry about the next day. No one has any problem eating the same meal twice in this house!

good luck, you sound excited about the new job so congratulations and enjoy it!

Honestly, I think if the job is one where you can leave work at work then maybe it’s possible. I’m the main earner (and I have to bring a lot of work home) but we found two full time working parents with two children under 5 was an impossible stretch and my husband went part time. Our quality of life vs pay cut was 100% worth it. Unless you can afford to outsource cleaning etc you may find it’s not worth the strain, especially if you are a lone parent most of the time. Having a family and caring for a family shouldn’t be such the struggle that it is. Personally, we just refused to live a stressful busy life. It depends massively on what you are willing (can) cope with. Also, I appreciate that choosing otherwise is a privilege. I know that doesn’t help but if you’ve been offered the job and you are excited about it then see how it goes. You aren’t signing up for it forever and it will give you an inclination about what is feasibly possible for your situation.