Need some advice – returning to work after mat leave

[Gifgaf]

Currently on maternity leave with baby #4. I have a very good job with decent pay, but I’m feeling really worried about the thought of returning.

As much as I love my job and value the independence it gives me, my heart and head are with my children. Ideally, I’d love to be at home raising them until they’re at least ready to start school. However, I don’t think my DH could manage all of our expenses on his own, so realistically, I feel like I need to bring in an income.

I’d also be expected to go into the office, and this is what bothers me the most. My DM would look after the kids for me but the 2 she would need to look after are small and they require a lot of attention and worried she may not be able to cope.

Has anyone else been in a similar position? What solutions did you find that worked for your family?

Also, are there any jobs I could potentially do fully from home that would allow me to earn an income while still having the kids at home? I’d love to hear about any experiences or suggestions.

Another thought I’ve had is social media/UCG (user-generated content). I’m not really sure where to start with this or what’s realistic in terms of earning, so any tips, advice or personal experiences would be really welcome!

Agree, but even if you just said each woman employed only had 1 child, and they had to hold their job for those 4 years, it still isn’t viable from an employer perspective. Finding someone to fill the job for 4 years, where does that person go after those 4 years, lots of jobs change significantly in 4 years, skills, qualifications, processes, it’s really not practical.

And unless OP is suggesting an employer should pay the woman to be off for 4 years, which is really crazy talk and totally not viable, OP would be in the same position where the money is needed so would have to go back anyway.

Exactly the point I am making that because not many can afford to live of their husbands salary and unfortunately are cornered in this position and it genuinely makes me feel sad that baby is far from the closest person to them and I am sure parent also feels some sadness also. It's not a crime to admit it feels wrong that society has us in this chokehold. Equally there are parents who are desperate to get back to work and this won't apply but id say a good majority of mums deep deep down don't want to hand their baby to complet strangers and pay half a mortgage on it. I am not actually saying anything bad maybe you've just read it in the wrong way.

Maybe not the entire 4 years but at least 2 as that's a common age to send kids to pre-nursery. OR at least pay them a full year instead of the 9 months. I mean let's be real postpartum doesn't really end at 3-6 months. All 3 times I had to go back at 9 months and it affected me and this time I've decided to take the full year but I'll have to compensate for the last few months where I won't get a dime and the months before where my pay is heavily reduced.

That's really lovely to hear, especially as a mum of 4 myself. I did shift work with my first but I found it difficult and ended up spending a lot of time away from them. I have worked really hard to get to my position today and I do genuinely love where I work and the fulfillment it can give but it just simply doesn't compare to the fulfillment of motherhood. Its like once your back to work, they almost want to dedicate your whole life and time to work only and to exclude the fact there are many employees with children. It could entirely depend on where you work also buy I have a big corporate job and unless your surrounded by others in a similar positions, everyone else couldn't give a monkey. Hence why I feel very unmotivated.

Could you make it work on your husband's salary if you made some cutbacks? I found working full time when DD was young very stressful but it did allow me to build my career and now I do have more flexibility.

I've worked full time throughout all my pregnancies and babies and people always have a shocked reaction on how I manage (barely managing mentally) and I never understood until now. I mean we definitely would have to have some setbacks which I don't mind. My husbands suggested doing a career break where I don't lose my position (obv won't be paid) or either I could cut back on my hours and know that I have some back in the week. Honestly I don't find myself being very proactive either when my mind is at home and equally when I am home my mind also wonders on work and then I am in this stressful cycle of thoughts
with my kids.

Sorry, OP, but posts like this absolutely baffle me. You had four kids, your husband’s employment can’t support you being a SAHM. None of this has come as a suprise surely, since this is your 4th time on this rodeo.

That you feel entitled to both WFH and WFH in a job where you don’t actually work because you’re looking after two children is insulting to everyone who actually pays their childcare and does a good job at work.

Totally agree. This isn’t some kind of capitalist conspiracy. Having four children was always going to be an expensive option.

You’ve said you can afford your 4 children. Is this without your income or can you only afford them if you work?
If you can afford them without working quit your job, if you need to work to be able to afford them then you have no option other than to work.
You did choose to have 4 children, you must have considered the financial aspect of this before having them, paid childcare is not cheap but you have to choose what you want, to work and pay for childcare or quit your job and cut your cloth accordingly