I’m really sorry that it’s so hard for you. You’re definitely not alone. If we are to achieve equality between the sexes, then childcare needs to be recognised as a requirement. And not just amongst those of us who have kids. After all, our kids will be looking after everyone in their old age. Society depends on children and we must respect that.
finishing work at 5pm is totally reasonable. If your company doesn’t have core working hours, you should ask what they are and be bold saying you can’t always attend meetings that fall outside those times. In my experience, multinational companies with lots of different time zones are the worst for antisocial meeting times.
I do understand that it feels like you’re looked down upon for not being able to attend meetings, but if anyone says anything, remind them that children are a social good. Your babies will one day (when that condescending person is retired) be fixing their hernia, or emptying their bins.
loads of love.