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Going round in circles

3 replies

Carlyb163 · 20/08/2026 19:50

Hi all, I don't know if this is the right place to do this but I'm at the end of my tether and don't know what to do. I have two children 4 and 2 and I am struggling trying to manage them, the house, work and now with my son starting school, all the proposed events that I am expected to attend at school. I have already changed my hours at work so I can do drop offs and pick ups at school as I cannot afford to pay the extra money for wrap around care, but now I'm fighting with my employer about getting time off to cover school holidays and it's really stressing me out.
ATM both boys go to a childminder who they've been with since they were 6 months old and who knows them well. She has 6 weeks off per year when the boys can't attend. Me and my husband try to split these weeks so it's fair but my employer is now saying I can't have a week off every Easter (bearing in mind I'm asking for 1 week not the 2 that I need) and that I need to work over Christmas. My husband's employer is also saying he needs to work over Christmas. So I've told my employer that if they won't grant me leave I will use parental leave. Obviously I only have a limited amount of parental leave I can use per child and it is unpaid so this causes financial stress as well.

I have searched and searched for a part time term time only job, but there don't seem to be any unless you want to work as a teacher (which I don't)

I also have tremendous mum guilt about going to work full stop. I feel like I'm missing out on my kids when I'm at work then when I'm home I'm so tired or so busy doing housework or food shopping or paying bills or doing all the running around that nobody else will do, that my children don't get any attention from me then either and then I'm shipping them off to bed.

I've discussed it many times with my husband who has said I cannot give up work completely because it will cause too much financial strain on us. With the cost of everything having gone up and our rent increasing being a SAHM would mean a considerable drop in money.

I'm just so miserable at work and always seems to be on a bad mood lately and though I'm trying not to take it out on the kids, they definitely feel it.

Oh I'm just going round in circles. Not even sure what I'm asking really

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 20/08/2026 19:55

It’s so hard juggling everything - you have my sympathies
could you find a holiday childminder or someone on top of your current CM?
I’m not sure about parental leave as an employer can turn it down if it is a particularly busy time but it’s an option
what about a nanny share? Assume you don’t have family that can help?

rubyslippers · 20/08/2026 19:56

you could ask for term time only working but sounds like your employer isn’t super flexible
Do you both both work in retail or hospitality which is why you and your DH need to work Xmas for example?

FuzzyBumbleeBee · 20/08/2026 19:59

Have you looked into working in a school kitchen?
I did this for years when my dc were small

Different schools need different hours but the pay is split year round so your not going through school holidays without pay

Upsides
kp or cook so lots of positions for different levels of training
School holidays off apart from a couple of days to clean the kitchen in school holidays
School time hours

Down sides
You won't get a day off for sports day ECT
We didn't technically get holiday, the holiday pay was factored in to our salary but we had enough time off during the year

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