Hi all, I don't know if this is the right place to do this but I'm at the end of my tether and don't know what to do. I have two children 4 and 2 and I am struggling trying to manage them, the house, work and now with my son starting school, all the proposed events that I am expected to attend at school. I have already changed my hours at work so I can do drop offs and pick ups at school as I cannot afford to pay the extra money for wrap around care, but now I'm fighting with my employer about getting time off to cover school holidays and it's really stressing me out.
ATM both boys go to a childminder who they've been with since they were 6 months old and who knows them well. She has 6 weeks off per year when the boys can't attend. Me and my husband try to split these weeks so it's fair but my employer is now saying I can't have a week off every Easter (bearing in mind I'm asking for 1 week not the 2 that I need) and that I need to work over Christmas. My husband's employer is also saying he needs to work over Christmas. So I've told my employer that if they won't grant me leave I will use parental leave. Obviously I only have a limited amount of parental leave I can use per child and it is unpaid so this causes financial stress as well.
I have searched and searched for a part time term time only job, but there don't seem to be any unless you want to work as a teacher (which I don't)
I also have tremendous mum guilt about going to work full stop. I feel like I'm missing out on my kids when I'm at work then when I'm home I'm so tired or so busy doing housework or food shopping or paying bills or doing all the running around that nobody else will do, that my children don't get any attention from me then either and then I'm shipping them off to bed.
I've discussed it many times with my husband who has said I cannot give up work completely because it will cause too much financial strain on us. With the cost of everything having gone up and our rent increasing being a SAHM would mean a considerable drop in money.
I'm just so miserable at work and always seems to be on a bad mood lately and though I'm trying not to take it out on the kids, they definitely feel it.
Oh I'm just going round in circles. Not even sure what I'm asking really