How to tell work i can't cope with all the last minute changes?

[inkgirl]

So my job usually means same shifts every week same time. I like that because it makes it easier to plan things and appointments around work. Towards the end of last year I took on another client, great more hours. However recently the clients grandad has been asking me to work longer, changing things last minute for example times I'm working or days I'm working. He tells me last minute what I'm doing on shift. I need to know in advance due to having to pay for public transport which they are meant to for me as its in the contract they often don't. I feel so guilty that I'm struggling with the consent changes and not knowing the shifts they ask last minute if I can work. For example tonight theyve messaged asking if I can do an extra shift tursday knowing I can't because I have other clients. I dont know how to tell my manager that I'm struggling with this client, at first it was fine now its getting too much, I dread going to work. I don't know if its because I am autistic that I'm struggling or if this is something most people would struggle with. My clients grandad has made me feel guilty when I cant do a shift due to an appointment or because I'm ill.

Thank you, that dose explain quite a bit. I hate letting people down. Even calling in sick I feel guilty about, especially with this client as apparently it really upsets him when I do

This isn’t making any sense.

To clarify:
You are an employee.
Your employer has a contract with a client.
The client pays your employer.
Your employer is responsible for delivering the agreed hours and “tasks”.
Your employer has allocated this client to you.
Your employer pays you.
Your employer is responsible for your welfare and working conditions and hours.
Your employer undertakes appropriate checks and supervision of you and the client.

Im at a loss to understand why hours and time are agree directly with you and why the client is paying your travel and not your employer.

That doesn’t sound correct??

The council pays my company not the client as its council funded.
I get confused by it all myself. Its in their contract to pay my travel whilst I'm with the client I'm led to believe

Its what ive been told by mangerment, apparently its in their contract

What's in your contract?

Either way, you are an employee and work for the person that pays you. Hours and tasks will be agreed between the council and your company. the client may have input into this. However that is not a direct arrangement with you so not your responsibility, nor should it be. If the client demand extra hours from you, how is this funded and who is it signed off by? You are at risk of working for zero income if this continues.

Don't visit the client again until they've paid what you're owed for transport. They're in breach of contract to not pay travel expenses so you are not obliged to continue serving them. Then tell the client you only work x days a week and if they need anything different you require 2 weeks notice. This is company policy and cannot be altered.

You need to be professional and set your boundaries.

According to clients grandad (spoke to this morning) my client has pretty most of the input in what hours he wants me to work. He tends to forget I have other clients I care for so cant always do the others he wants, also have a few appointments coming up that work thankfully found cover for but client wasnt too happy about it. The whole thing is stressful. Because its 1 on 1 as well I can't leave him to go to the toilet when needed so I could be holding on pretty much most of a 6 hour shift.

Thankfully they paid today. But its not always the case. They've been told again today I need more notice of shift changes or any shifts he wants me too do. So hopefully he'll listen this time. If not I'll be asking my manager to either drop the said client or say I can do set hours each week and thats it

But your contract is with your employer.

The client could demand you work a 60hr week, or stay over. The council aren’t just going to pay for that if they have agreed, for example, 30hrs.

This really isn’t adding up OP. Your employer has a duty of care to you and a responsibility to deliver the contract they have with the council. Your employer needs to be managing this whole situation.

Its honestly confusing for me too. I took on the PA role for this client as well as being his support worker because it was meant to make everyone's life easier and its hasn't done that its just made it more stressful

If someone is manipulative and guilt-tripping, you can't stop that. But you can change how you behave. Decide your boundaries (perhaps "I won't agree to any changes without a week's notice" and "I will make a record and report to my company each time I'm not paid for transport") and then stick to doing that, politely declining each time.

Just because they're upset, you don't have to feel guilty. It's their own fault for not planning on advance. If you keep feeling the urge to people please, it might be worth getting some help specifically for that - a book or therapy.

It’s not confusing. Your employer needs to start owning this and managing you and the client (council) and the clients client (the person you are supporting)

Yeah, refer it back to manager if they don't take heed. What they feel about the fact you can't work at short notice at their whim shouldn't enter your mind. You only work for them when you're on a shift. Don't let them fill your time when you're off the clock.

How's it going, @inkgirl? Have you managed to get some support and put things in place to make it less stressful (and get the money you are owed)?

You are someone who has made a professional arrangement with them, working the days and hours that they have agreed to.You have shown consideration by being flexible but they are now taking advantage of your good nature and inability to say NO!🙂 I think you need to remind them of this, and if it is too hard to say to their face then send a (shit sandwich) letter.

Dear Y family

You know that I really enjoy coming to work with Y, I find the job very fulfilling and I think we have built up an excellent relationship over the last xx years.

However, I think it is important that we both make the effort to keep our working relationship on a professional level. I understand that X ( manager) has previously reminded you that although I have in the past managed to re arrange my time with you at short notice in an emergency, my preference is to keep to the agreed days and hours as otherwise my schedules with other clients are compromised . With this in mind I need you to know that from todays date I will be unable to make any changes to my days and hours unless I am given at least 14 working days notice, and that even with that notice period I reserve the right to refuse changes if they do not fit in with my other commitments.

I hope this puts our relationship back on a professional and mutually respectful understanding, and that we can continue to work together in the future as I really value the time I spend with Y and think Y does too.

Not too bad thank you. I told my manager this morning, she sounded quite surprised that I didn't have time to go ro the loo during an 8 hour shift. She was grateful I told her. Yep I get my money back once ive picked up my client

Thank you. I went straight to my manager this morning and she was greatful I did.
I feel guilty for saying I could no longer do the longer shifts but hopefully something will be put in place

Well done. I hope it gets resolved.

I totally understand and yes your autism is part of it, and is also part of why you are finding it difficult to say "no" - but your first steps need to be to start saying "no" more confidently. Do not take on any extra last-minute requests - if they give less than 72 hrs notice then it is ok to say "sorry I am not available" - they do not own you, you are allowed to say no. In terms of what you are specifically asked to achieve within booked appointments, it is ok for there to be some things that you can only do if you are given sufficient notice that they are needed, so it's ok to say "I can't do that today, I will do it next visit, you know I need notice when that needs doing" so long as the clients are informed of what the required notice is. They are wanting you to be at their beck and call, fully prepared to be available at any time for any task at the drop of a hat, but that is a service level that would cost a lot more than they are paying you so they are being CFs to expect it. Your kindness and good nature have led you to try to comply but you have no obligation to put yourself under this level of stress.

I think you need to be more specific. If I am asked 5 days in advance I will be able to consider shift changes (you can still say no) but with less notice I won’t be able to do it. Then if they ask with less than 5 days notice (or what works for you) say sorry, I can’t consider changes with less than 5 days notice. You need to clear, polite and consistent and then everyone knows where they stand.

What is the deal with paying for your transport. How is this usually paid? Again you need to clear, polite and consistent and say I am not always been paid for this, is there a better way for us to manage it doesn’t get forgotten about?