Going remote just before starting a family? Genius or insane? Law/Tech

[lawyer1991NCL]

Good morning!

I work as sole legal counsel for a tech company. The role is stressful by nature, but I genuinely love both my job and the company. It’s a hybrid role but my commute is only 17–30 minutes, depending on when I leave the house, and it’s a friendly bunch with free parking.

For reasons I won’t go into, I think there is a risk of redundancy for economic reasons within the next 12–18 months. In-house legal can be viewed as a “nice to have”, and when a small company is looking to become more efficient, it needs engineers and salespeople, whereas legal work can theoretically be outsourced.

The company has private equity investment and the investors will probably want to exit within the next couple of years. They know they will need my support for that, but the shareholders own several companies and are accustomed to buying and selling businesses using external lawyers. We have a great relationship, but I’m not naive that:m business is business and if you’re making other cuts, I am rightfully hard to justify.

Because of this, I’m keeping an eye on other opportunities as they’re few and far between in my region.

My husband and I would like children and plan to start trying early 2027. I’ll have just turned 35 and don’t want to delay it any further. That makes me feel there is some urgency to move soon, so I can become established in a new role before potentially taking maternity leave towards the very end of 2027 or in 2028.

I’m open to views on all of the above, but my main question is this: I’ve been moved through to final interviews this week for a role at a top-30 UK tech company. The company is London-based, but the role is fully remote. Is this a good or bad move?

I would effectively be the GC’s right-hand person, and I think I would really enjoy the work. It’s a £12.5K pay rise but has a lot of US clients so possibly later finishes, but also later starts. The GC is based remotely too and likes to be flexible as he’s an outdoorsman, which seems nice. (This is supported by his location which is no where near London and rural) The majority of the board are women and he referenced not minding flexibility “if I have kids I need to pick up/drop off” in my last interview as “we’re all adults and as long as you do the work, I don’t care”.

My two concerns are:

1. It could be even more intense than my current role when going into motherhood as it’s a growth stage company, although I’m not sure that’s possible and could be just my misconception of “London based company means intense”; and
2. It is completely remote.

For anyone who has worked fully remotely while pregnant in a new role or with a baby or young child, is it actually a brilliant arrangement for a new mum, or could it feel isolating and become a logistical nightmare?

To be clear, I wouldn’t be expecting to work while caring for a baby. We would use childcare once I’m finished maternity leave and my husband works 10 minutes from home. Other roles in my region with office time would likely be 30+ minutes away minimum.

Would you take the opportunity, or would you value having an office and colleagues around you during that stage of life?

I’ve been fully remote with small children and it worked really well. I think you do need to be reasonably established in your career and confident in the role, and it sounds like you will be.

Do you know where in the US the clients are located? Makes a big difference to the possible hours. What hours does your partner work? If you’re doing later hours will he be able to do childcare?

It sounds ideal for you - it’s a pay rise, the work is interesting, it’s remote, and the culture sounds supportive. I’d go for it!

Sounds ideal. You’ll find that you meet lots of new people on your maternity leave anyway so by the time you’re working hopefully you’ll have lots of social contact with other mums and babies for play dates etc anyway, shouldn’t be too isolating.

I'm fully remote in a senior role and it works really well for me. Flexibility to start a bit later if you've been up half the night with LO, laundry out on the line at lunchtime, no-one giving you side eye when you pop out for another of the endless Reception events. I absolutely could not have kept going full time in an office-based role, but remote I've had several promotions since having kids. Worked my socks off too! The main risk is if you're remote in an office-heavy culture, and loss of face time means loss of opportunities. But sounds like your manager would be on the same page, and then you shouldn't miss out on anything.

As long as you have childcare it sounds completely feasible

I honestly don’t know? US is one of their largest markets and given the product I suspect it’s coast to coast but their US office is in Boston.

My husband works in a finance team working 9-5 based 10 mins away from home so he could certainly take over at 5.30 if need be. He’s really looking forward to having kids and wants to be involved so imagine he’d be grabbing baby for some attention the minute he gets home even if I’m not on a call 😂

The impression I got from the GC is that “occasionally” there are US calls but we all know sometimes the more tricky/taxing parts of a role are undersold!

It’s hard when you don’t have children yet to assess if it’s a good fit or not so thanks for the response!

Thanks for the reassurance - a girl who happened to join my company but who I’ve known since primary mentioned she might have kids next year too and she used to be remote while pregnant and said to go for it. She’s in a much more junior role than me and was in a team so it’s hard to compare but her positivity but encouraging! She has promised we can meet up if we end up both being on mat leave together and my sister is considering a third so I may push her into it so we can be mat leave friends 😂

Being fully remote wouldn’t bother me as loads of offices for hybrid workers now you could sign up to.

The pay rise will be invaluable and offset about 50% of your childcare costs

Most importantly they sound a family valued company and that will be invaluable when you do have children.

Im in the “go for it” camp.

good luck 🤞

Sounds great. My only reticence would be that it might be harder to form relationships with internal stakeholders if new and fully remote. Do the non-legal staff have hybrid or office-based roles? It does sound like the GC would be supportive of you though, and great that he is working in the same way. Good luck!

I went back to work after mat leave a couple of months before the first lockdown, so only experienced a few months of full time office work as a parent. Since then, I’ve been in remote roles and hybrid roles.

The remote role has been the best for my setup with young children for a couple of reasons:

1. Because the majority of the team are also remote, I’m not missing out on face time and the opportunities that comes with it.
2. It’s a tech company so quite intense, but I have complete flexibility work hours to suit me. If I need to take time out for appts, or school plays, I can easily catch up in the evening once the kids are in bed.

As you’d suggest, we still use full time childcare. But the time saved in commuting and flexibility over hours worked is worth its weight in gold!

It sounds like a great opportunity, I’d go for it!

Thanks so much for taking the time to respond - it’s hard to get good advice if people don’t understand the pressure of a senior role and the anxiety of the “unknown” with motherhood! The new role has 16 weeks maternity fully paid too, so financially there’s a lot of great up sides - if I’m successful.

They are actually a software product I use currently and while I know they do have offices, it’s quite a remote company and I think my account manager was remote too. They do have quarterly “summits” where they get together but the GC said he at most goes to London quarterly and made a point that this was not just to show face and say hello to the team to make friendly - it’s when he’s genuinely needed down there to have something signed off or attend a board meeting and he’d expect me to go along then out of necessity, again not just to buddy buddy. It’s probably helpful to mention that he’s even further north than me so I don’t think it’s lip service. He’s in his 40s, listed “60% of men apply for jobs they’re not qualified for, if you’re a woman and unsure, APPLY!” So he seems genuine and consistent in what he’s saying.

He actually told me I was successful in the interview as his VP of People advised “if it’s not a heck yes, it’s a heck no” which made a good impression in terms of honesty and his personality being quite open.

I’m also a senior in house lawyer a tech company and work fully remote (almost everyone does in my company).

Remote working was a game changer for me as a mother of young DC. Commuting into London sucks. And racing out of the office at 4pm to get home in time for nursery/school pick up is really stressful. The freedom and flexibility (and savings £) that remote working brings for our whole household far outweighs the negatives. But being at home means there is no opportunity for idle office chit chat or casual socialising. And obviously the “feel” of the work day is different when working remotely since it consists of endless emails and video calls rather than face-to-face conversations. And I have to make my own lunch every day, which is tedious. But still - better than commuting to London.

in your circumstances I’d say the key thing is securing your mat pay. I would take the new job, have your baby, enjoy mat leave and then decide your next move.

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond!

That’s so reassuring to know that while there are draw backs in some ways being remote, overall it’s better. Getting the insight from someone in the same role and industry as me is reassuring.

I am so thankful I got the chance to specialise in tech many years ago with being regional (I worked for a blue chip retailer with a tech specialist team) and think continuing to specialise is the way I’d prefer to go with the introduction of AI etc. Regional roles in my area tend to be generalist, so I was ecstatic when a senior position at a tech company, with an office in my area became available but it is what it is - I need job security in the next few years!

Sounds great! I’d grab it with both hands. The early years are really tough with office commute, if you could escape that it’s great. If it gets isolating you can look for other options in 3-4 years.
getting in now and getting settled before you get pregnant makes a lot of sense.

I'm one of the permanent staff at a fully remote, consultant only law firm. My DS is 12 but my manager's DC (she's head of auditing) is at primary school. We both find remote working really useful for the random things that come up with DC as well as the school run (her).

Completely remote firms tend to be more flexible in my experience. If everyone is in the same boat, it's not so hard to make connections. Manager and I have a weekly catch up on Teams. We also go to a CPD conference together every year.

Your current job is potentially unstable

The new job is higher paid, potentially more flexible and fully remote. The new boss seems to value work/life balance.

I don't see a down side here.

I went from fixed hours to 99% work from home when my kids were 1 and 3. Just the luxury of not having to rush to the office and cursing when I see how congested the motorway way or having to leave the second the clock said 4pm has been great for my stress levels.

When you are at home it doesn't matter if there is a slight overlap with kids Vs work, emergency childcare days (vomiting child) aren't the disaster they use to be where DH and I have to negotiate who's staying home etc.