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Dealing with a grieving colleague

3 replies

Habesha91 · 20/07/2026 19:58

Just not sure how do you deal with a grieving colleague. She lost her mum few months ago and I've been in touch with her on a weekly basis to check on her. She's been off work too, everytime we chat I can tell she's not okay and finding it hard to accept what happened. The thing is I'm the only one who's reaching out compared to other colleagues which I understand as she's close with me.

However, the last few times we chatted she mentioned that no one has been in touch with her and if they do it's the usual "how are you" etc which she said she can't be bothered answering with because she doesn't want to talk about her feelings and it's hard . I also ask her this question and was wondering if she's indirectly telling me to stop asking her how she is. She also said she can't be bothered with anything going on which I understand. Her tone when we speak on the phone is very low mood and disinterested, speaks slowly.

The last thing I want to do is bother her and I've got a lot going on too as I'm pregnant one month away from giving birth .She asks about my pregnancy etc but I've noticed she forgets key stuff that I've told her already like my due date, my last day at work etc and I find myself repeating certain things.

Shall I back off and stop contacting?

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 20/07/2026 20:00

Why are you “dealing” with her?
are you her line manager or HR or are you a friend
Honesty she is grieving and there’s not much you can do over the phone - if you’re due to give birth then you need to focus on yourself
keep checking in but also take a step back

PotatoFan · 20/07/2026 23:02

unless you’re her line manager, you shouldn’t be contacting work colleagues whilst they’re off sick

parietal · 20/07/2026 23:18

are you in touch as a friend or a colleague?

if as a friend, you could ask if she has support or grief counselling. and ask if she wants to meet for coffee before baby arrives - get her our of her house and into the world.

if as a colleague and you share a sympathetic boss, you could tell your boss you think colleague might be struggle and can the company offer any support. but otherwise you need to leave it.

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