Direct report

[popdepop]

I’m a senior manager and have been in the role over a year. I applied for this role with an understanding of my job description and expectations and after I accepted, my manager promoted someone on my new team which essentially was to do part of my new role. This person went for my job, was promised it, but didn’t get it. I was unaware of this. My manager has a good relationship with this person. The issue I have, is I’ve been undermined and bullied now for a year. My role is to lead, however as this person already has established relationships and a lot of experience they are taking over. This has made it difficult for me to establish relationships. They is no respect for boundaries and there is manipulation with others, against me.. I feel I have nowhere to turn. This person wants control of everything, has accused me of micromanaging and I’m feeling deflated and alone. I have to be very careful what I say. We are very different personalities. How do I cope? I have great feedback but I know this person has gone above me and will also do the same to others at any opportunity, I find it exhausting. Has anyone been in a similar situation to offer advice and support? I am not managed at all by the way.

I have a horrible little scroat going to my manager to overrule me often. I'd speak with your manager to clarify your authority in certain situations.

I know these situations aren’t uncommon. Do you feel supported by your manager?

My managers are class A 💩s, but when I make my point, it seems to have an effect. I just explain what I have issue with and why and what I'd like to change.

Sounds like your manager couldn’t do anything about objective interview scoring where you got your role on merit, and decided to rewrite reality to suit their little friend there. I’m so sorry OP. This may not be the place for you long term so consider what you can privately do for you, and try to network with other managers, other teams, other departments. Document what’s going on, view this job as a means to an end whilst showing up as your most objective best professional self, and make medium-long term plans either to move internally on your terms or move externally - again on your terms. I can relate OP 💖

Thank you @Gwenna this is exactly what I have been doing. I feel very hurt. I’ve given everything and I feel I’ve been set up to fail. Why hire me? I feel like I’m being managed out and I’ve given my all. I’ve been bullied and put up with it. I don’t understand why this has happened to me, I feel like I’m being punished but I haven’t done anything. Yet, the bully get their way and further progresses. It sounds like you’ve been through similar. Did it work out for you?

Yes your post struck me as I’m kind of still in it, but in a much better dynamic if you know what I mean. My situation is similar in that my manager has a favourite who didn’t get the job but she tried to rewrite reality by elevating them at my expense. I’ve realised I’ve been career stalled, sabotaged and bullied because it seems she doesn’t want me getting ahead of her protégé, sometimes using them as a sidekick.

I sought advice from the union, brought it up with her manager and HR very informally because I just wanted to do my job and didn’t want the drama of a formal grievance. Her manager was very supportive and wants to develop me. Meanwhile, she did something really stupid which showed her up and I get the feeling she’s had to be nice to me ever since 😉 Doesn’t change the damage to date, but I’m quietly learning new skills in my own time so that I’m not held back any further and can be of value to my organisation or others in the future.

I’m also open to opportunities to expand my horizons, network with new people (I’m thinking about joining women’s business networking groups for example) and appreciate the great colleagues/workplace I do have. I’m in a great organisation and I’ve found a way to be productive despite her - she’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing. It’s taken me a few months though - be kind to yourself and do it step by step.

Remember people like this only target you because you’re very capable. It’s not about poor performance, in fact it’s the opposite. I know my role and I are an incredible fit for each other, and I bet it was the same for you. Don’t allow one person to define who you are or your career - your coworker or their boss may not even be there in a year’s time and you want to be in the best position e.g. you might have developed skills through your private learning that a new manager or colleague will appreciate. People like your colleague often offend other people as well so you’re probably not alone.

Also sometimes, your greatest weapon is your presence in the workplace because their demons can’t cope and they make them do silly things! Keep showing up, be the best you can be, cultivate your connections, look at short courses (or long!) to boost your skill set so you don’t feel like you’re facing a brick wall.. You can’t do anything about favourites/nepotism but you can carve out your own path ahead on your own terms despite them 💖

Yup have been in a similar situation. So they are still your junior? Don't be afraid to manage and take control. They wont like it. That's ok. Its not personal remember that, reestablish boundaries, find ways to integrate and appreciate the person's expertise but assert yourself.

Excellent advice.

If you have a catalogue of evidence against them I think you need to take this further.
Either HR, or if you belong to a Union, get them involved. Consider a formal complaint.
A year is more than enough time for you to have put up with this situation.
There clearly needs to be a clarification of roles, responsibly and acceptable behaviour. Check your workplace policies to ensure they are being followed correctly.
You have been put in a very tricky situation but need to take back control, in such a way that no one can turn things back round on you.