First day back in office today

[TonicGinIceFruit]

It’s my first day back in my office today (I worked from home yesterday and generally do two days in the office and three at home per week)
I’m currently working with a lovely team and a great manager, but I got thinking this afternoon about previous jobs, does anyone else have any toxic work experiences to share? Specifically, office stories?

I’ll go with – my first office job in London had a rule of no “self-care” at your desk, which included applying make-up. I went into work one day with a very heavy cold (pre-COVID so working from home wasn’t an option) and had a NIVEA lip balm to use as my lips were very sore/cracked. I was also applying hand sanitizer more often than usual as I didn’t want to spread my lurgy.
I got pulled into a side room by my manager mid-morning and berated for “constantly touching up your lipstick and using hand moisturiser at your desk”
I tried to explain it was lip balm/hand san, and even showed them to her but she insisted it was “unacceptable behaviour as per policy”

On a separate occasion this manager also pulled me to one side and scolded me for “having alcohol in the office”. I had a bottle of Prosecco on me as I was headed to a friend’s house after work – it was in my bag tucked away under my desk; I’m amazed she even noticed it. I apologised and said it was a sealed bottle and hidden away so I thought it would be ok. She replied with “I suggest you don’t repeat this” 😅

I look back and laugh at these now, but it’s always stuck with me how guilty I felt for being told off 😂

Hopefully this isn’t too triggering for anyone! I’m looking to raise a few laughs rather than resurface or dwell on bad memories.

I got cited on an office check (they were checking for clear desks/locked drawers) because not only were my drawers unlocked but I had a plant in the drawer!

I was trying to get it to flower, it was a Christmas cactus, but of course the drawer should have been locked!

I was temping with my friend. She had been away for the weekend and when she came into the office I have her a hug. I was called into the managers office and sacked because I was obviously a lesbian and 'a bad influence on the typing pool'.

This was London in 1987, but still pretty shocking I think.

I was once temping as a secretary in an engineering firm. I got pulled aside at the end of my first week and told the “we prefer women to wear skirts here”. I could understand if my trousers were in any way unprofessional but they were part of a suit and I’d also worn the matching jacket. This was 1994, not 1974!

I’ve just done a course on Udemy about imposter syndrome. One of the modules is titled “are you sure your workplace isn’t toxic,”. And my manager ticks all
the boxes on the checklist “is your manager a cunt”. Paraphrasing obviously 😳

And did it flower? 😂

Shocking! But... are you a lesbian? I really hope your answer is yes and you exerted your "bad influence" elsewhere 😂

Paraphrasing obviously 😂😂😂

No I'm not. However I did give them a piece of my mind about what they'd said!

Glad to hear it! (re: your piece of mind not your sexual orientation 😂)

I remember a thread on here aages ago along the lines of someone worked in an office with a lady who was nice as pie. However, they did find in her desk drawer a notepad with some handwritten stories about how she'd like to murder them all in graphic detail!

It did flower! I had a hard job convincing audit I wasn't being mean to it hiding it in a drawer though

Murder, she wrote.

I’m a bit too pleased with myself using the flowers as my React 😂

My old editor used to shout at me if I interrupted him while he was working. He would also shout at me if he spotted on my screen that I’d started a different task without asking him.

Which meant that I basically got shouted at every time I finished a piece of work because if I told him so he could give me more work he’d shout and if I didn’t tell him he’d shout. Obviously I’d then spend ages on tasks out of a desire not to be shouted at… and he started shouting at me for being too slow.

The whole team was so relaxed and happy on days he was away and I was in charge. Until he started calling me from holidays abroad to shout at me too! Then he would shout at me for interrupting his holiday!

My old office was really toxic. They moved buildings and decided that the only thing you could ever have on your desk was a lidded cup of water. No other drinks, stationery, nothing.

A week or so after we moved my boss called me into his office to tell me that there'd been a complaint as I'd put my cardigan on the back of my chair one day. I pointed out that it wasn't on the desk, but apparently the definition of 'desk' had expanded to include 'chair' without me knowing.

It was winter when we moved and we had a few days of deep snow. Our car park was closed and no trains were running. One of the SLT was walking around the office taking a register of who came in late so they could be told off as apparently no public transport or parking wasn't an excuse.

My team had to present stats to my boss each week and he'd mark each one out of 10 on appearance, whether he liked them and if they used the correct grammar.

It's a big, successful company run by some of the most vile people I ever had the misfortune to work with.